Superhero Movie (2008)
Miles Fisher: Tom Cruise
Quotes
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Tom Cruise : [clapping with each syllable to emphasize his point] Old MacDonald had a farm and Bingo was his name - o.
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Tom Cruise : [extended, deleted Tom Cruise scene] Y'know, uh, this "hero", this, uh, this "Dragonfly"... he's not the answer, okay? I'm the answer. I got, uh, I'm just... whew. Y'know, and, uh... heh. I'm... I'm the way to, to happiness. Okay? I'm the way to, I'm the way to peace. I can, I can, uh, I can unite cultures. I can eat... planets. I mean, I can just, um,
[snaps fingers; laughs]
Tom Cruise : Dragonfly's not a superhero, okay?
[laughs]
Tom Cruise : I am.
[laughs; claps]
Tom Cruise : Guy can't even fly, you kiddin'?
[laughs; abruptly stops]
Tom Cruise : I can fly, okay? I can fly. He sees an accident, he's just gonna run by. I'm gonna STOP, 'cause I'm a hero. Now today, there aren't a lot of accidents, so you gotta make accidents. I like to throw... little nails in the street, and an accident happens. And I'm the ONLY one who can run up there and stop it. Ooh! BAM!
[laughs; claps]
Tom Cruise : [off-screen interviewer: "I just wanted to ask you-"] Stop. Just shut up. Shut up. Hey!
["There's a rumor about-"]
Tom Cruise : Hey-
["That you wanted to-"]
Tom Cruise : Stop.
["You did claim, however-"]
Tom Cruise : Stop.
["Okay, but you did say, you agreed to be here, and you said that you would talk about this-"]
Tom Cruise : Shut. Up.
[facing backwards]
Tom Cruise : What is this place? Seriously... why are there no clocks in here?
[suddenly asleep]
Tom Cruise : [off-screen interviewer asks, "Tom? Tom?"]
[suddenly awake]
Tom Cruise : There was a farm who had a dog, and Bingo was his name-O! YEAH!
[laughs]
Tom Cruise : I'm, uh, I'm okay.