Glow Ropes: The Rise and Fall of a Bar Mitzvah Emcee (2008) User Reviews

I really don't know what to say...

[rockacdc4 · 1/10 · 12 July 2008]

I sat down to watch this movie with my friends with very low expectations. My expectations were no where near low enough. I honestly could not tell what genre this movie was from watching it, and if it was a comedy, the humor was completely missed. The plot was nonexistent and the acting was horrendous. My friends and I managed to watch approximately 30 to 40 minutes of this film before we turned it off and promptly begged the video store to take it back. I do NOT recommend this movie to anyone unless you are purposely trying to watch the worst movies of all time. I honestly don't know how this film lasted more than a day in theatres and moreover I can not understand why anyone would willing watch it, considering not only it's very uninteresting title but also the lack of any famous actors/actresses in it's cast. This review is not a joke and I honestly think this could possibly be the worst movie ever made. It's certainly the worst movie I've ever had to sit through.

Not one laugh

[trummlawoffice · 1/10 · 1 July 2007]

I can only assume that the other reviewers of this "film" are stockholders in the production company, as this was quite possibly the worst movie I've seen in the last five years. From the opening shot of a Rabbi laughing uncontrollably for no apparent reason, it was clear that the actors in this film would kill to be considered "B-Level." Both my wife and I were in a great mood before starting this film, and we were genuinely looking forward to a funny popcorn movie. We knew we hadn't rented Citizen Kane, and we weren't expecting to see the most amazing movie ever. However, after 40 minutes of enduring the most painfully unfunny bit of garbage I've ever seen, we shut it off instead of wasting another minutes of our lives.

If a "comedy" with no laughs, terrible acting, thin plot and annoying characters are your thing, then this film is for you. Honestly, Troll 2 is better--at least I laughed at the popcorn sex scene.

I cannot justify writing a longer review of this picture because I've already wasted almost an hour trying to find one joke.

dear god...

[mapster10 · 1/10 · 12 July 2008]

MY EYES! IN THE NAME OF GOD AND ALL THAT IS HOLY MAKE ME UNSEE THIS MOVIE! what drugs are you people on! this could very well be the worst movie ever! i felt like i was on a bad acid trip the whole time, i need to call a therapist to help me deal with the trauma of this epic disaster. From start to finish glow ropes is an unholy masterpiece of satanic cinema. when i thought to watch this movie with my Jewish best friend and his family we thought "oh hey, this may be funny! it will probably be bad but still a little funny" how wrong we were, we were not prepared for how awful this movie could be. All of my friends lined up for lobotomies as soon as the film was over, and during the course of the movie, one of my friends attempted to hang himself with his belt while another tried to slit his wrists with a wooden spoon. I wish I had watched the video from The Ring instead, that way the pain and suffering would be over in only seven short days. For all who wish to see this movie, YOU ARE NOT PREPARED! you may think you are some sort of "tough guy" by renting this but this movie will break you, push you to the ground and urinate on you.

Based on a true story, Glow Ropes is a hilarious comedy that anyone in the NYC area will love!

[odrarab · 10/10 · 14 December 2005]

Glow Ropes is an account of a young dancer whose personality and sex appeal win the hearts of the New York Jewish community that is planning outlandish parties for their teen-aged kids. This "mockumentary" is hilarious and witty, filmed with creativity and style. With no chance to get bored, while laughing out loud, the audience is drawn into the intricate relationships of all those involved in the dramatic planning of the world's greatest bar mitzvah. Anyone who found the humor in My Big Fat Greek Wedding right up their alley, will love Glow Ropes, as it touches upon the quirks of culture and lifestyle that all of us can relate to and laugh about. Check it out, you will regret it if you don't!!

It's a satire, people!

[jeff1326 · 6/10 · 16 February 2010]

I lot of these reviewers don't get the point of the film. The premise is stupid, the plot is thin, the acting is cheesy, BUT IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE. This is a black comedy, a satire, about the emptiness (at best) and depravity (at worst) of the modern American Bar Mitzvah party. The film's flaw is that it occasionally tends to take itself a little too seriously. Glow Ropes tries to use the mockumentary style of Christopher Guest but it never totally comes together, and the plot falls apart at the climactic party scene as if to say: that's the point, there is indeed, nothing there... The fun is in watching the main characters (especially Vanessa and Harry, the rival party planners) try to push the satire as far as they can. I thought the very talented Tim Peper did a great job holding the film together, and his final dancing scene on the street corner is the perfect ending. It may lack class, but for a lightweight comedy I have to say there are quite a number of entertaining scenes, and folks who have been through these situations in real life will smile at the silliness of it all.

Extremely entertaining !

[rcoppaesq · 10/10 · 15 December 2005]

Glow Ropes was an extremely entertaining and enjoyable movie. Viewed in NYC, I along with other friends and a sold out crowd continually were laughing aloud, relating to the situations as we northeasteners experience and understand the bar mitzvah extravagance, and grooving in our chairs to well selected music! This is a movie for any age goer to enjoy from children to senior citizens. George Valencia's "acting" was more than acting having actually spent years as an emcee---you can definitely feel the energy and sincerity he eludes. A job well done by all involved I would highly recommend this movie to anyone looking for a night of fun and laughter. Kudos to a young, professional and talented group who I am sure we will see much more from in the future.

Not bad at all!!!

[tycreation · 9/10 · 5 February 2007]

I would say WOW! I did not know what to expect...my daughter was an extra in this movie and it was long ago in 2005. I was waiting for this movie to come out to see my child. That's all but I actually enjoyed a whole thing. We watched it as a family - good gathering! Good cast (I found few flows - rabbi at the beginning of the movie and the boy who played Ricky rich mom's boy. I thought they were bit too B list). Everyone else were just great and pleasant to watch. I would recommend it to you if you are looking for something different to watch on Friday night! I am still wondering it says based on true story...if this really had happened? It must had been a crazy...so much ado about nothing! I loved the end when the boy who filmed Tyler's story said 'it is not JUSt 13 y/old BDay - and he showed him a glow rope...I had teary eyes. Good stuff!

This movie is not bad at all.

[Hunky Stud · 8/10 · 1 June 2009]

I didn't plan to write a comment. After I saw how low the rating it is, I am compelled to write a good comment for it.

I don't know how much money they spent on this movie. Of course, this is a low budget movie, it only has Dolby 2.0 sound. However, it is not as bad as some of the big budget movies. It is only better. It doesn't feel like a low budget movie, it is well done. Some of the montage scenes were really good.

I have never heard about Bar Mitzvah before, but this movie is not hard to understand culturally. Some of the scenes made me smile, there wasn't any big funny moments though.

One thing that I don't understand is that why that student interviewed Taylor James, what was the purpose of it?

Simply hilarious

[jsantaiti · 10/10 · 13 December 2005]

My wife and I viewed the movie in NYC and loved it. The night was sold out, and we, along with the large crowd laughed a lot! The movie was well written, the actors/actresses did an amazing job and we were entertained from start to finish. My wife and I still use some of the punchlines today. The movie did an excellent job of connecting us with our genre and the comedy of that time. I addition, being from the northeast we could certainly relate to the premise of the movie.It is the second coming to my big fat Greek wedding. Outstanding Job! I would highly recommend this film to anyone. We look forward to additional work from the very talented writer, directors and actors/actresses.