Plot

I.R.S. auditor Harold Crick suddenly finds his mundane Chicago life to be the subject of narration only he can hear: narration that begins to affect his entire existence, from his work to his love life to his death.

Everybody knows that your life is a story. But what if a story was your life? Harold Crick (Will Ferrell) is your average I.R.S. Agent: monotonous, boring, and repetitive. But one day this all changes when Harold begins to hear an author inside of his head narrating his life. The narrator it is extraordinarily accurate, and Harold recognizes the voice as an esteemed author he saw on television. But when the narration reveals that he is going to die, Harold must find the author of the story, and ultimately his life, to convince her to change the ending of the story before it is too late.—the lexster

For twelve years, methodical I.R.S. Agent Harold Crick (Will Ferrell) has had a routine lonely life guided by his wristwatch. However, one day he hears the narration of his life in off, telling that he is going to die pretty soon. Meanwhile, he audits Ana Pascal (Maggie Gyllenhaal), the owner of a bakery that is in debt with the I.R.S., and falls in love for her. Harold is advised by Professor Jules Hilbert (Dustin Hoffman) to change his monotonous lifestyle while he tries to find Karen Eiffel (Dame Emma Thompson), the author of the story of his life, who is researching means of killing the character, and convince her to change the ending of the story.—Claudio Carvalho, Rio de Janeiro, Brazil

Harold Crick (Will Ferrell), an I.R.S. Agent, leads a highly regimented, routinized, and solitary life, having few friends besides his co-worker Dave (Tony Hale). Suffering from O.C.D., he has a habit of counting things, like the number of times he brushes each tooth, and the number of steps it takes to get to the bus stop for his daily commute. Because of these issues, he is highly dependent upon his watch, to which he refers often, but which he otherwise does not consciously consider. Despite his nature, he hates his job. One day while he is brushing his teeth, he hears the bodiless voice of an English woman eloquently narrating what seems to be his story as he is acting it out. The story not only includes his actions, but what his innermost thoughts and feelings are at the time. The voice comes and goes over time, Harold not knowing the full story based on the missing parts. Not knowing what to do, he brushes the voice aside until the voice says, "little did he know... would result in his imminent death." Knowing that he is not schizophrenic, which is the medical diagnosis, Harold turns to literature Professor Jules Hilbert (Dustin Hoffman), who becomes Harold's sole confidante in the matter. Hilbert agrees to help him through the literary side of the matter, solely because the voice used the literary convention of "little did he know". Trying to go against the norm in his life partly based on Hilbert's advice, Harold begins to court Ana Pascal (Maggie Gyllenhaal), a baker who he is auditing, who detests the very thought of him, but about whom he nonetheless cannot stop thinking. In reality, the voice in question belongs to famed novelist, chain-smoking, and nervous Karen Eiffel (Dame Emma Thompson), who is under great pressure from her publisher as she has not written anything in ten years due to writer's block. Her books always end with the lead character dying. Harold's story is slowly coming together, but she has not yet worked out how he will die. Harold's fate seems to be in Karen's typing hands, as his story plays out exactly when she types it out. The primary questions then become if Hilbert and Harold can find out that it is Karen writing the story, if so, if Harold can locate her, if so, if Karen will believe his story, and if so, if she will change her artistic vision to save Harold's life, or conversely if the fate between Karen's typewriter and Harold's life can somehow otherwise be broken.—Huggo

Sometimes art imitates life, and sometimes life imitates art. When a voice begins narrating every moment, mathematically obsessed Harold Crick (Will Ferrell) becomes distressed and concerned. He begins to be fearful, however, when it mentions his soon to be death and sets out to fix it.

Harold Crick (Will Ferrell) is an auditor for the Internal Revenue Service, living his entire life based on the timing of his wristwatch. He is given the job to audit an intentionally tax-delinquent baker, Ana Pascal (Maggie Gyllenhaal) to whom he is awkwardly attracted. On the same day, he begins hearing the voice of a woman that is Omnisciently narrating the events in his life, but he is unable to communicate with the voice.

On his way home, Harold's watch stops working and he resets it using the time given by a bystander; the voice narrates "little did he know that this simple, seemingly innocuous act would result in his imminent death". Worried over this prediction, Harold turns to a psychiatrist (Linda Hunt) who attributes the voice to schizophrenia; though they also consider that if it is not schizophrenia and there really is a narrator, he should then visit an expert in literature. Crick visits Jules Hilbert (Dustin Hoffman), a university literature professor, and relates his story. Jules first comes to the same conclusion as the psychiatrist, as Harold's dull life is not something commonly seen in novels. However, Jules then recognizes aspects of a literary work in Harold's story ("little did he know"), and encourages him to help identify the author, first by determining if the work is a comedy or a tragedy.

As Harold proceeds to audit Ana, the two begin to fall for each other, but when Harold refuses to accept cookies that Ana made for him on the grounds that they could be viewed as a bribe, Ana angrily tells him to leave, making Harold believe the story is a tragedy. On the advice of Jules, Harold spends the next day at home to try to control his own destiny and stop the plot of the book by doing absolutely nothing, but his apartment is partially demolished by a wrecking crew mistaking the building for an abandoned one. Jules then believes that since Harold cannot control the plot that has been set for him, he should accept that he will die and enjoy whatever time he has left to the fullest.

Harold takes this to heart: he takes an extended vacation from work, develops his friendship with his co-worker Dave (Tony Hale), fulfills his dream of learning to play the guitar and starts to see Ana on a regular basis. Harold believes he may have mistaken his story and now reassesses it as a comedy. When he returns to Jules with this revelation, Harold inadvertently identifies the voice in his head from a television interview as noted author Karen (Kay) Eiffel (Emma Thompson). Jules, an admirer of Eiffel's work, reveals that every book she has written is about the main character's tragic death.

Karen (who has been appearing throughout in a parallel story) has been struggling from writer's block for years and is currently researching numerous ways to have Crick die. Her publisher has sent an assistant, Penny Escher (Queen Latifah), to make sure the book gets completed (ironically, the book's title is "Death and Taxes", a snippet from a famous statement by Benjamin Franklin). Harold finds Eiffel through her tax records. When Karen learns that Harold is a real person and has experienced everything she's written, she is horrified by the thought that all of her previous books may have also resulted in the deaths of real people.

She tells Harold she has finally written a draft of the ending and his death but has not typed it up yet; the pair realize that all the events in the book become true when she strikes the period key. Penny suggests Harold read the book and the drafted ending to get his opinion. Harold is unable to bring himself to read it and gives the manuscript to Jules to review. Jules confirms its excellence, labeling it as Karen's masterpiece, and makes clear that Harold's death is integral to its genius. Though Harold is deeply distressed over his fate, Jules comforts him by stating the inevitability of death: this one death, at least, will have a deeper meaning by completing the book. Harold reads the manuscript himself over the course of a day; he returns the manuscript to Karen, telling her the death she has written for him is "beautiful" and that she should keep it as it is. Accepting his fate, he spends one last night with Ana.

The next day, Harold prepares to return to work after his vacation, despite Karen's voice narrating the fateful day as she types up her planned ending. Because Harold's watch is three minutes fast (owing to the imprecise time given to him when he reset his watch) he arrives at the bus stop early, and watches as a young boy on a bicycle ride in front of the arriving bus but falls. Karen continues to write, narrating as Harold leaps from the curb and pushes the child out of the way, saving the boy at the cost of being struck by the bus, however Karen is unable to complete the sentence confirming Harold's death. Harold wakes up to find himself in a hospital, severely injured but alive, Ana by his side.

He learns that fragments of his wristwatch helped to block the right ulnar artery in his body after the collision, preventing him from bleeding to death. When Jules reads Karen's final manuscript, he notes that the story is weaker without Harold's death. Karen admits the flaw, although she points out that the story was meant to be about a man that dies unexpectedly; with Harold knowingly and willingly sacrificing himself, the story would have lost its tragic impact. In place of Harold, his wristwatch-Anthropomorphized throughout most of the film-is now the character who died tragically.