- Mallory Edmonton: When somebody dies, somebody the birds had respect for, it's important to tell them.
- Naomi Sinclair: I think they probably know now.
- Mallory Edmonton: Death matters to them like life.
- Dr Bullard: I could tell you what he had for dinner. I could tell you he wasn't in the habit of rinsing his hair properly. But I can't tell you what he was thinking.
- DCI Tom Barnaby: Hm, no. What do you mean he didn't rinse his hair properly?
- Dr Bullard: There's some gunge at the roots. It turned out to be conditioner.
- DCI Tom Barnaby: So when did he wash his hair, then? Yesterday morning? Later?
- Dr Bullard: I guess later. Tom, there's nothing very suspicious about a man who doesn't wash his hair properly.
- DCI Tom Barnaby: No, but there's something rather odd about a man who washes his hair just before killing himself.
- [last lines]
- DCI Tom Barnaby: Joyce, what have you done?
- Joyce Barnaby: Since you were never going to look seriously at the brochures, I took the dates, and Cully did it. We're booked. We're going to Botswana in April.
- [passes him the brochure]
- Joyce Barnaby: Here's to our holiday.
- DCI Tom Barnaby: Joyce, looks as if these people are sitting on top of an elephant.
- Joyce Barnaby: That's right. It's an elephant-back safari. Won't it be wonderful! Cheers.
- Sgt Gavin Troy: How much money is there in it?
- PC Sarah Pearce: Some eggs will fetch a few pounds, rare ones, thousands. But it can add up to serious money; serious enough not to care what species you could be wiping out in the process.
- Mallory Edmonton: If I didn't know you better, I would swear that you're accusing me of being an ungrateful bitch.
- Naomi Sinclair: Don't those birds ever get in the mood to peck someone's eyes out?
- Mallory Edmonton: Oh, only when I ask them to.
- DCI Tom Barnaby: [notices the mud on Troy's pants and shoes] What happened to you?
- Sgt Gavin Troy: What do you mean?
- DCI Tom Barnaby: Well, I can only hope you're not going to try to claim for a new suit on your expenses, Troy.
- Sgt Gavin Troy: Oh, I'm not bothered about that.
- DCI Tom Barnaby: Good. I'm glad to see you're prepared to make sacrifices in the line of duty. You look like you had quite a day.
- Sgt Gavin Troy: I have. There's a lot more to to wildlife crime than you think.
- DCI Tom Barnaby: Is there any chance you could bring in a little less of it back into the office with you tomorrow?
- Sgt Gavin Troy: I don't think Wildlife Liaison is treated seriously enough in CID. We don't spend enough time on it.
- DCI Tom Barnaby: Hm, well, after the road to Damascus you've been traveling on with Constable Pearce, I'm sure you'll do your best to remedy that.
- Joyce Barnaby: I don't know what it's like. I've never even seen it in a supermarket before. I thought it would set the right sort of mood.
- [begins eating]
- Joyce Barnaby: Mmm. It's not bad.
- DCI Tom Barnaby: No, it's very good. What is it?
- Joyce Barnaby: Ostrich.
- DCI Tom Barnaby: I thought you wanted to see the animals, not eat them.
- Joyce Barnaby: I do, but it was the only thing I could find that was African. Well, I say African. The ostrich farm is just outside Cheltenham. The wine is South African. Cheers.
- [first lines]
- George Hamilton: As long as George is kept out of the way and no-one sees him in a week, we'll all be done.
- Mallory Edmonton: That phone never stops ringing.
- George Hamilton: Oh, refer them to me; I'll handle it.
- Mallory Edmonton: You handling Julian Shepherd?
- George Hamilton: Let's just ignore him.
- Mallory Edmonton: No, he's making trouble, George; I don't want anything to go wrong.
- George Hamilton: All right. I'll see to it.
- Cully Barnaby: Ah ha! I'm glad I caught you. You can have a look at these at work.
- DCI Tom Barnaby: What about crime?
- Cully Barnaby: It won't go away, Dad.
- DCI Tom Barnaby: I didn't realize that working for a travel agent was a conspiracy.
- Cully Barnaby: More of a happy coincidence.
- DCI Tom Barnaby: Thank you.
- Sgt Gavin Troy: It's a waste of time.
- DCI Tom Barnaby: It's a crime,Troy, you are a detective. Don't expect me to treat it differently to any other crime.
- PC Sarah Pearce: I'm looking for DS Troy, sir.
- DCI Tom Barnaby: Oh, well, you've found him.
- [points at Troy]
- PC Sarah Pearce: Hi, I'm Constable Pearce, Sarah, Wildlife Liaison Officer.
- Sgt Gavin Troy: Oh right, yes, nice to meet you.
- PC Sarah Pearce: Um, is... is that what you're wearing, Sergeant?
- Sgt Gavin Troy: Well, I've got some wellies.
- PC Sarah Pearce: I'm in the car park.
- Sgt Gavin Troy: On my way.
- DCI Tom Barnaby: Not all bad news, then, wildlife liaison.
- Sgt Gavin Troy: Well, it's like you said,sir, a crime is a crime, after all. Thank you.
- PC Sarah Pearce: I owe you a drink sometime. You know Moorcroft was so afraid of what he got involved in, he's delivered his whole network.
- Sgt Gavin Troy: Right. Great. Well, I don't know when, um, I get off about, uh... well, it depends what's happening.
- DCI Tom Barnaby: Oi, you can get off about
- [looks at his watch]
- DCI Tom Barnaby: now.
- Sgt Gavin Troy: Oh, right, cool.
- DCI Tom Barnaby: Cool?
- Sgt Gavin Troy: I mean, thank you, sir.