Eminem: Interviewee

Quotes 

• Al : Have you ever met Céline Dion?

  Eminem : I have felt like killing her before.

  Al : Well, obviously, we all have. Umm, ever felt like killing anybody else?

  Eminem : Y'know, most of my family members.

  Al : That's nice. Which reminds me, do you feel that you owe at least part of your success to the loving support that your family has given you over the years?

  Eminem : I don't owe nobody in my family nothin'.

  Al : You don't owe nobody in your family nothing? Wow, that's a triple negative. Does that mean you do owe somebody in your family something?

  Eminem : It's like, it's up to you to decide, you know?

• Al : I know it's your favorite, so I made you a Twinky Weiner Sandwich.

  Eminem : I knew you'd make it. I knew you'd make it.

  Al : But before I give it to you, I just want you to answer me one simple question... What is the mathematical formula used to determine the area inside a pentadomecahedrum?

  Eminem : It's a simple formula. It's a simple formula.

  Al : Alright, what is it?

  Eminem : You know.

  Al : No, I don't know. What is it?

  Eminem : It's... it's... it's easy, I mean, the formula is, first of all, there, you know...

  Al : Yeah, that's what I thought. You have no idea what you're talking about.

  Eminem : Yeah, so I'd better just shut up.

  Al : Uh-huh.

• Al : Well, I've been asking all the questions here. Are there any questions you want to ask me?

  Eminem : You know, how many times can you rhyme "tear me apart" and "breaking my heart"?

  Al : Well, let's see... Homer and Bart, medical chart, strawberry tart, served allacart, back to the start, post-modern art, plastic londart, missing a part, Humphrey Bullgart, rip me apart, and blue light special each day at K-Mart! Eleven!

• Al : I have to admit I was a little bit nervous about doing this interview.

  Eminem : Relax, guy. I like gay men.

  Al : That's great, but... I'm not gay.

  Eminem : I don't believe that.

  Al : Well, I'm sorry, but I'm not. What? Do you find me attractive or something?

  Eminem : Maybe I do.

  Al : Wait, are you hitting on me?

  Eminem : Yeah.

  Al : Uh...

  Eminem : You don't have anything to say?

  Al : Well... I'm flattered, I guess, but... I'm just really not interested. Why don't you go hit on Brad Pitt or something?

  Eminem : Yeah, he's cute, but isn't he married, though?

  Al : Yeah, I guess so, but... Look, I'm sorry if you got the wrong impression. I just asked you here so I could interview you. That's all.

  Eminem : Well, what the fuck? This is... This is bullshit to me.

  Al : Hey, calm down! I just wanted to talk to you about your music! You know, I happen to think you're very tallented, and I think you've got a lot of potential for growth. I see your talent as kind of a little acorn seed, and when that acorn seed is planted, and watered, and nurtured, and allowed to grow, do you know what it eventually becomes?

  Eminem : Fucking tree.

  Al : Yeah.

• Al : You've got a little pottymouth, don't you?

  Eminem : I don't believe that nobody can not swear.

  Al : You don't believe that nobody can not swear? Wow! Another triple negative!

• Eminem : Y'know what I'm sayin'?

  Al : I know what you're sayin'.

  Eminem : Y'know what I'm sayin'?

  Al : I know what you're sayin'.

  Eminem : Y'know what I'm sayin'?

  Al : Yes, I do.

  Eminem : Y'know what I'm sayin'?

  Al : Yes.

  Eminem : Y'know what I'm sayin'?

  Al : Yep.

  Eminem : Y'know what I'm sayin'?

  Al : I know what you're sayin'.

  Eminem : Y'know what I'm sayin'?

  Al : Yeah!

  Eminem : Y'know what I'm sayin'?

  Al : Yes! Yes!

  Eminem : Y'know what I'm sayin'?

  Al : YES!

  Eminem : Y'know what I'm sayin'?

  Al : YES!

  Al : [while Eminem rapidly repeats "Y'know what I'm sayin'?" eight times]  Yes, I - I told ya - Look, I - I said that I - What? - I said I...

  Al : SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP!

  Eminem : Y'know what I'm sayin'?

  Al : YES! YES! I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE SAYING! ALRIGHT?

  Eminem : Whatever.

• Eminem : I used to respect Will Smith but he pretty much dissed the whole Gender of rap.

  Al : The whole gender of Rap? Are you sure you don't mean genre. I don't mean to secong guess you or anything.

• Al : So, tell me, Marshal, how do you feel about censorship in music?

  Eminem : I feel like, you know, I really believe in freedom of speech. I can't even stress at enough. I feel like, especially, artistic expression. I believe an artist should be an artist and be able to say what he wants to say weather you think it's good or bad, you know.

  Al : Uh-huh. So, if you think, for example, if somebody wanted to do... oh, I don't know... A PARODY OF SOMEBODY ELSE'S VIDEO, they should be able to ARTISTICALLY EXPRESS THEMSELVES AND JUST DO IT?

  Eminem : Um...

  Al : Ah, I'm just busting your chops. I know you said I couldn't do a video for my "Lose Yourself" parody, but hey, you know, it's your choice.

  Eminem : Yeah. Exactly.

  Al : Just between you and me though, don't you think my version of the song is just a little bit better than yours?

  Eminem : That's kind of what pisses me off.

  Al : I knew it! Well, now I don't have a video to promote my new album, "Poodle Hat", but you know, as long as you're happy... You are happy aren't you? YOU'RE HAPPY, RIGHT? CAUSE I SURE WANT YOU TO BE HAPPY!

  Eminem : You're fucking crazy. You're crazy, for real. You're crazy.

  Al : Well, since I don't have a video for it, and since this is my stinkin' show, why don't you say we just sit here and listen to the whole song right now?