- Brother Fred: [lying in two pieces whilst the end credits are running] The end? This can't be the end! I was gonna fuck my sister! Now what am I gonna do? This sucks!
- Harley: If a vehicle could take Viagra, a monster truck is what it would look like. I mean those giant tires make the truck look like it's got blue balls!
- Harley: [while sitting in a bar that's showing a monster truck competition on tv] These fucking rednecks must have IQs the same number as the size of my underwear to watch this!
- Police Officer #1: [in a thick redneck accent] You dang kids are up to your assholes and elbows in trouble now!
- Adam: Ask your elbows *what*?
- Harley: [sitting in a redneck bar] For these hillbillies, putting on socks is the equivalent of wearing a 3 piece suit!
- Police Officer #1: You hagglin' to get in on some drop the soap action, boy? 'Cause if you are, I'll put you in with a whole cell of hardy hard-ons who'll stretch your ass out 'til it looks like a spare tire. My advice to you is to get in your dang car and get the hell out of my state before I put you in a place where your nicknames'll be Firestone and Union Royal.
- Brother Fred: He was basically drunk on his own testosterone.
- Sarah: Which makes a fella do terrible things, I always say.