- Johnny Carson: You people, uh, who just tuned in at home, this is the Academy Awards. Warning: contents may cause drowsiness; do not drive or operate heavy machinery.
- [Accepting the Best Actress award]
- Shirley MacLaine: I'm gonna cry, because this show has been as long as my career.
- [audience laughs]
- Shirley MacLaine: I have wondered for twenty-six years what this would feel like; thank you for terminating the suspense.