Eulogy (2004)

Zooey Deschanel: Kate Collins

Photos 

Quotes 

• Kate Collins : Hey, hey, hey! You guys! Could one of you *please* tell me one nice thing I can say about your dead father

  Lucy Collins : [after a long pause]  He often called me Andrea for no reason.

  Daniel Collins : I was Barry.

• Kate Collins : [reading a letter from Ryan out loud]  Did you really leave me again? After all the seasons I spent waiting, watching out the window, listening at the door, waiting for the news of your return? for the news that you realized that someone important was waiting for you. A whole lifetime I've been waiting. I can't believe you're not coming back. I can't believe I'm supposed to stop waiting. I can't believe you left me again...

  [ends letter] 

  Kate Collins : Grandpa didn't leave because of you, it was because of you he kept coming back. I hope you all realize that.

• Kate Collins : I'm sorry about Grandpa.

  Lucy Collins : Oh, Katie! Nobody blames you!

• Daniel Collins : Hey, did we have a blackout last night?

  Kate Collins : That's what I heard.

  Skip Collins : Yeah, we sure did. I couldn't even find my room.

  [Lucy smacks him with a newspaper] 

  Skip Collins : What?

  Lucy Collins : You found my room all right.

  Skip Collins : It was dark.

  Lucy Collins : So you hid in my closet? With your *kids*?

  Skip Collins : [shouts]  We were lost!

• Skip Collins : Pop loved poetry.

  Kate Collins : He did.

  Skip Collins : Yeah. All the ones about Nantucket.

  Skip Collins : I think his favorite was about a little handicapped girl. There once was a girl who was crippled, by the weight of her overgrown nipple.

• Kate Collins : Uncle Skip and the twins were a little heavy with hormones, but they were at those ages...

• Kate Collins : My family still observes a cocktail hour with a vengeance.

• Alice Collins : I'm sorry, I live in the real world. I work hard at raising a decent family. You don't see me prancing around in my pajamas all day, starting up pillow fights with my topless girlfriend...

  Kate Collins : ...What are we talking about?

• [first lines] 

  Kate Collins : [practicing out loud]  Hey, you don't know me... I don't know you...

  Kate Collins : [narration]  Twice in my life I've had to deliver bad news to someone I'd never met. The first time involved a cat that ran out in the middle of my driver's test. This time was a bit trickier.

• Kate Collins : [narration]  My grandmother always said she wished Alice came with a mute button.

• Kate Collins : [narrating about his dad]  You may remember him as the Spiffy peanut butter kid. My dad's the one with a spoon in his mouth.

  Commercial Dad : What is it son?

  Young Daniel : Something is stuck to my tongue.

  Kate Collins : [narrating]  Must be *weird* to have your career *peak* at 8. Now, he works mostly in obscure foreign films.

• Kate Collins : [narrating]  He always acted like he had a crush on me. And I always acted like I didn't notice.

• Delilah the Neighbor : [crying]  Poor Barbara!

  Kate Collins : What do you mean?

  Delilah the Neighbor : I don't know what to say.

  Kate Collins : You're not Barbara?

  Delilah the Neighbor : Edmund was the best neighbor I ever had.

• Kate Collins : [after putting the video tape in Barbara's mailbox]  I'll explain on the way.