Club Dread (2004)
Bill Paxton: Coconut Pete
Photos
Quotes
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Hank : When you're all done with your little pink panty meltdown, let me know... 'cause I'd like to get down to business.
Coconut Pete : I thought it was time to bring in the pro.
Sam, The Fun Police : Hank?
Coconut Pete : Yes, Hank. The head of security on all my tours.
Jenny : So, what? He keeps aging hippies from stealing the bong out of your tour bus?
Coconut Pete : It just so happens that Hank used to be a federal agent. Yes, that's right. Headed an FBI task force on serial killers. Single-handedly caught the Minneapolis Mangler.
Lars : Who's the Minneapolis Mangler?
Hank : Exactly!
Dave : Pete, you are aware that I've personally served this guy 20 beers a day for the last 10 years, right?
Hank : [shows a nasty scar on his stomach] Hey, I was in Nicaragua, junior! When you can stuff your intestines back in your pockets and walk 20 klicks to an aid station after a knife fight with guerrilla drug lords, then you talk to me!
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Coconut Pete : If it isn't too much to ask, have sex with the guests. Cause some of 'em aren't bad lookin'!
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Juan : [very upset] Pete! Yu and Hank are dead!
Coconut Pete : Why? What did we do?
Juan : No, man. Yu and Hank are fucking dead.
Coconut Pete : You threatening me? 'Cause if you are, you little hairless lap dog...
Juan : Ay, puta! Just come and look!
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Fiona : [requesting a song written by Jimmy Buffett, not by Coconut Pete] Play "Margaritaville"! I *love* that song!
Coconut Pete : [annoyed] Darlin', I think you're referrin' to my song "Pina Coladaburg."
Fiona : [insistent] No, "Margaritaville"!
Coconut Pete : I think you mean "Pina Coladaburg." A little song I wrote seven and a half fuckin' years before "Margaritaville" was even on the map! Of course, you wouldn't know that, 'cause you weren't even born yet!
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Coconut Pete : [trying to teach two immigrants to cook for the resort - they don't understand] You think Eddie Money has to put up with this shit?
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Coconut Pete : [re: Jimmy Buffet] Son-of-a-son-of-a-bitch!
