- Man in audience: Hey, look, it's really Kermit the Frog! And look who's with him! Uh... uh... what's his name, uh, the dog that plays the piano?
- Fozzie Bear: No, no, no, I'm what's his name, the bear who tells the jokes.
- Kermit the Frog: Hmm. You know, it's kind of amazing. Just a little while ago, this whole room was filled with Hollywood's most important, talented, glittering, brilliant, beautiful people.
- Miss Piggy: Mm-hm, it's nice to have spent an evening with my equals.
- Miss Piggy: [after telling her assistant she's too busy to talk to Frank Sinatra on the phone] He wants to do an album with me, and I just do not have the time.
- Rita Moreno: [off screen] Wow, do you know what I would do to make an album with Sinatra?
- Miss Piggy: I think so.
- Fozzie Bear: [Fozzie is carrying a large bag outside Mann's Chinese Theater] What's in the bag?
- Fozzie Bear: Uh, uh, bag? What bag? Oh! Uh, heh... lunch. Yeah, lunch.
- Dick Van Dyke: Fozzie, that's Quik-Mix cement.
- Fozzie Bear: Uh... oh, so it is. Heh.
- [puts it down]
- Fozzie Bear: I thought it was a bit heavy for my peanut butter and jelly sandwich.
- Dick Van Dyke: You know, you really are my kind of a woman.
- Miss Piggy: Oh, silly boy, I'm everyone's kind of woman.