Good Morning, Miami (2002–2004)

Constance Zimmer: Penny Barnes Barrington

Quotes 

• [in the dressing room] 

  Gavin Stone : What are you doing in here?

  Penny : [Sitting in a chair, reading a magazine]  I'm on my way to the warehouse to pick up some film, and with all this traffic, it might be a while.

  Gavin Stone : Why are you smoking?

  Penny : It's my car, I can do what I want.

• Gavin Stone : You don't seem to be burdened with any sexual hang ups.

  Penny : Dog, I am a slut with skills.

• Penny : You know what? The funny thing is, you and I are exactly alike. We make decisions with our hearts, and then let our heads handle the cleanup.

  [starts to sob] 

  Penny : I just wish your heart had picked me.

• Penny : I can't believe that girl actually thought I had a crush on you. She's crazier than a bum arguing with his elbow.

• Jake : Look, just be nice to Dylan. It's not a chore. Try complimenting her instead of putting peanut butter in her clogs and mayonnaise in her coffee.

  Penny : It looks just like creamer... I'm told.

• Dylan : Are you accusing me of manipulating Jake?

  Penny : Hey, if the peanut buttery clog fits, wear it.

• Jake : Yeah, well some girl named Penny was supposed to pick me up at the airport.

  Girl : Oh, Penny. Well there's your problem. She's completely unreliable. I mean, she's hot, but all she does is scarf the free food, hang around the office and annoy people.

  Jake : Well there's one in every office.

  Girl : Yeah.

  Jake : I'm Jake Silver.

  Girl : I'm Penny.

• Penny : ...I need to know what your office drug policy is.

  Jake : Um, no drugs.

  Penny : Got it. Now, do you consider the parking lot to be part of the office?

  Jake : Yes.

  Penny : Got it. Um, is weed a drug?

• Frank : ...roller disco, three time champ.

  Penny : Is that a sport, or just the gayest thing you can do on skates?

• Frank : Wanna feel my arm-muscle? It's freakishly over-developed.

  Penny : What is this? Hand me a lawsuit day?

• [Seeing Gavin's diamond earrings] 

  Penny : Ooooh, nice. Wanna trade? Hey, tell me, what did George Michael get for them? Oh, wait. Never mind... I already know.

  Gavin (smirking) : Big words from someone who's footprints are on the front of my windshield.

• Penny : That's the problem. I think I'm still kinda hung up on him.

• [Penny is eating a big piece of chocolate cake] 

  Jake : What are you eating?

  Penny : Birthday cake. Oh, by the way, later your colleagues will be surprising you with MOST of a birthday cake.

  Jake : Wow, what a coincidence. At the end of the week I'll be surprising you with MOST of a paycheck.

• Penny : What are you, my third grade teacher? Be nice to Mooktelah, she's far from home.

• Gavin Stone : You're my girlfriend.

  Penny : You're my boyfriend.

  Gavin Stone : So the next step is to find beach and run in slow motion.

• Penny : Okay, Jake, I'm gonna try and make this clear enough for you to finally grasp, okay? Dylan is in love with Gavin. Gavin is her man. Gavin, not you. You're Jake. Jake is not her man. Her man is Gavin. Gavin is not Jake. Jake is alone.

• Penny : Solitaire or porn?

  Jake Silver : I'm working.

  Penny : Porn.

• Jake Silver : You know what sucks? Look at us, we're both easy-going, and smart, and funny. Why can't love be like this? You know, just two people hanging out. Easy, no angst, no drama, no -

  Penny : - crystals?