Good Morning, Miami (2002–2004)

Matt Letscher: Gavin Stone

Quotes 

• Gavin Stone : It's not witchcraft, it's a palm pilot.

• [in the dressing room] 

  Gavin Stone : What are you doing in here?

  Penny : [Sitting in a chair, reading a magazine]  I'm on my way to the warehouse to pick up some film, and with all this traffic, it might be a while.

  Gavin Stone : Why are you smoking?

  Penny : It's my car, I can do what I want.

• Gavin Stone : I only have so many apologies to give. This just feels too stupid to waste one on.

• Gavin Stone : You don't seem to be burdened with any sexual hang ups.

  Penny : Dog, I am a slut with skills.

• [Gavin and Dylan have broken up and Jake goes to see Gavin] 

  Gavin : Who's there?

  Jake : It's me, Jake.

  [Gavin looks through the peephole, but can't see Jake] 

  Gavin : Prove it. Jump up.

  Jake : Ha, ha. I'm short. Open the door.

  Gavin : Why?

  Jake : I don't think you should be alone tonight.

  Gavin : Sure, make your move when I'm vulnerable.

  Jake : Ha, ha. I'm *gay*.

• Gavin : You know, Silver, uppers don't make you taller.

• Jake : When you were younger, and fat, what was that name the kids used to call you?

  Gavin : Fat kid.

  Jake : Oh. Kids are so original. And accurate.

• [Jake is mocking Gavin's 12-step alcoholic program] 

  Gavin : Oh, oh, oh. You're making a joke about alcoholics. You think alcoholics are funny.

  Jake : I sure hope they're funnier than recovering alcoholics.

• [Gavin is dressing up as a street thug and going on an undercover sting] 

  Gavin : You know what it takes to survive on the street, Silver?

  Jake : Velvet jogging suits and pancake-make up?

• [Seeing Gavin's diamond earrings] 

  Penny : Ooooh, nice. Wanna trade? Hey, tell me, what did George Michael get for them? Oh, wait. Never mind... I already know.

  Gavin (smirking) : Big words from someone who's footprints are on the front of my windshield.

• [Gavin and Jake are both dressed as "The Flash" for Halloween] 

  Gavin : Silver?

  Jake : Gavin?

  Gavin : All right, take that off. I want you out of the costume right now.

  Jake : I bet that's not the first time you've said that to another man wearing spandex in a gay bar.

• Gavin : Oh great, more about Silver. I guess it's "bring your obsession to work day." He can see where mommy works.

  Dylan : I am not obsessed by Jake. I wish YOU weren't so threatened by him.

  Gavin : ME, threatened by Silver? Why, what's he going to do, knee-cap me with an upper-cut?

• Gavin : Silver's come down with a case of... mono.

  Dylan : Jake has mono?

  Gavin : Yep. From kissing... another man.

  Dylan : Jake did NOT get mono from kissing a man.

  Gavin : Oh, yes, he did.

  Dylan : Why would Jake be kissing a man?

  Gavin : I don't know, who knows why hobbits do anything?

• Gavin Stone : [to Jake]  Tell me, do you need special scissors to split heirs like that?

• Gavin Stone : You're my girlfriend.

  Penny : You're my boyfriend.

  Gavin Stone : So the next step is to find beach and run in slow motion.

• Jake Silver : Gavin, a little tough on the spelling-bee champ.

  Gavin Stone : Hey, a girl that chunky should know how to spell dessert.

• Gavin Stone : Hey, Bessie. You wanna go easy on that cud?

  Lucia Rojas-Klein : Why does everything have to turn into a cheap insult with you, woman hips?