Arjay Smith credited as playing...
Brian Parks
- Library Security Guard: [as Brian works on a radio] Maybe you should have somebody help with that, you know?
- Brian Parks: Sir, I am president of the Electronics Club, the Math Club, and the Chess Club. Now, if there's a bigger nerd in here, please... point him out.
- Library Security Guard: ...I'll just leave you alone to work on it, then.
- Jeremy: Friedrich Nietzsche! We cannot burn Friedrich Nietzsche; he was the most important thinker of 19th Century!
- Elsa: Oh, please! Nietzsche was a chauvinist pig who was in love with his sister.
- Jeremy: He was not a chauvinist pig.
- Elsa: But he was in love with his sister.
- Brian Parks: Uh... 'scuse me? You guys? Yeah... there's a whole section on tax law down here that we can burn.
- Brian Parks: Man you've got some serious competition.
- Sam Hall: Please.
- Brian Parks: And I'll bet he's really rich too.
- Sam Hall: Shut up.
- Laura Chapman: [on the plane, Sam is scarfing down peanuts] You alright?
- Sam Hall: Hmm?
- Brian Parks: He's afraid of flying.
- Sam Hall: I'm fine.
- Brian Parks: [the plane rattles due to turbulence] You know, statistically, the chance of a plane going down because of turbulence is less than what, one in a billion? Or is it a million? I can't remember if it's...
- Laura Chapman: Shut up, Brian.
- Laura Chapman: She left her bag in the cab. Her passports. I'll get it for her.
- Sam Hall: Laura! Laura!
- Brian Parks: Sam!
- J.D.: No! Brian, no!
- Sam Hall: Laura! Laura, look! Come on! Come! Come on!