Ralph Fiennes: Victor Quartermaine
Photos
Quotes
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[Quartermaine's hairpiece has been sucked up in the Bunvacc]
Lord Victor Quartermaine : I want...
[lowers voice]
Lord Victor Quartermaine : ... toupée, please.
Wallace : Oh, grand. We take cheques or cash.
Lord Victor Quartermaine : Toupée, you idiot! My hair is in your machine.
Wallace : Oh, no, it's only rabbits in there. The hare, I think you'll find, is a much larger mammal.
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Reverend Clement Hedges : To kill such a creature will require nerves of steel, and... a bullet.
[lightning strikes]
Lord Victor Quartermaine : A bullet?
[lightning strikes]
Reverend Clement Hedges : A bullet!
[lightning strikes]
Lord Victor Quartermaine : A bull...
[lightning strikes]
Lord Victor Quartermaine : Oh!
[closes the window]
Lord Victor Quartermaine : What kind of bullet?
Reverend Clement Hedges : A bullet... of pure gold.
Lord Victor Quartermaine : Gold?
Reverend Clement Hedges : Yes... 24 "carrot"!
[chuckles nervously]
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Lord Victor Quartermaine : How on earth would those tiny-minded buffoons ever catch such a big rabbit?
Lady Tottington : Mr. Wallace?
Wallace : Um... with a big trap!
[Gromit slaps his face]
Mr. Crock : By Jove, he... he's got it!
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[after everyone thinks that the wererabbit is dead and everyone is celebrating]
Lord Victor Quartermaine : [whispering] I don't want to alarm anyone, but the beast isn't actually dead yet.
PC McIntosh : [shouting through his loudspeaker] *The beast isn't actually dead yet?*
[everything stops]
PC McIntosh : [into loudspeaker] Oops.
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Lord Victor Quartermaine : [to Lady Tottington] I'm sorry my dear but I refuse to suffer any more humiliation at the hands of these blundering nittwits. I therefore bid you good day.
[Leaves, wearing a rabbit for a toupee]
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Lord Victor Quartermaine : I know your little secret, Pesto. I know exactly what's going on.
Wallace : Your Lordship...
Lord Victor Quartermaine : Oh, yes. You think you can pilfer my filly, don't you? You think you can con an innocent woman out of her fortune?
Wallace : Who, me?
Lord Victor Quartermaine : Well, I got here first! I've spent a long time reeling in that fluffy-headed bunny-lover, and I'm not about to let some puddle-headed peasant poach her from me. Comprenez?
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Lord Victor Quartermaine : Spare me the sermon, vicar! Just tell me how I can kill him!... I mean, it.
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Lady Tottington : But Victor, didn't we agree, no more thoughtless killing?
Lord Victor Quartermaine : Quite right, my dear, so I thought this one out very carefully.
[Aims his gun at a rabbit]
Lord Victor Quartermaine : It's off to bunny heaven for you, big ears!
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Lady Tottington : You see, Victor, there is hope for the vegetables yet.
Lord Victor Quartermaine : Not the ones I'm looking at.
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Lord Victor Quartermaine : You can hop, but you can't hide!
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Lord Victor Quartermaine : No nonsense with Victor Quartermaine. What you see is what you get.
[his toupee is sucked into a rabbit hole and Lady Tottington screams]
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Lord Victor Quartermaine : If I can't have your money, I'll can still bag your Bunny!
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Lord Victor Quartermaine : Your loyalty's moving. Sadly, you won't be.
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Lord Victor Quartermaine : Vicar! Vicar! Oh, where the devil is he?
Reverend Clement Hedges : Do you want to confess?
Lord Victor Quartermaine : I want to talk to you about... The beast.
[lightning strikes]
Reverend Clement Hedges : Everything you need to know is inside this book.
Lord Victor Quartermaine : Nun Wrestling?
Reverend Clement Hedges : No I meant this book.
[lays a book on the table]
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[repeated line]
Lord Victor Quartermaine : What ho! Heard you had a spot of rabbit bother.
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Lord Victor Quartermaine : No one beats Victor Quartermain!
Lady Campanula Tottington : Is that so?
[Hits Victor over the head with her giant carrot]
Lady Campanula Tottington : Consider yourself dumped.
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Lord Victor Quartermaine : [after Gromit intercepts the gold carrot-bullet meant for the Were-Rabbit] Aarrghh! Potty poo!
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Lord Victor Quartermaine : [on the rooftop, preparing to shot the rabbit] This buck stops here!
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[Victor rams a pitchfork into Lady Tottington's hair]
Lord Victor Quartermaine : Hmm. I rather like your hair pinned back.
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[after both of Victor's shots miss]
Lord Victor Quartermaine : [Grabbing the Reverend] Quick! I need another gold bullet!
Reverend Clement Hedges : They don't come cheap, you know!
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Lord Victor Quartermaine : [preparing to engage Wallace in fisticuffs] And don't think that acting like a big girl's blouse will get you out of it. There's no mercy with Victor Quartermaine.
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[Wallace and Gromit have released Quartermaine from the Bunvacc 6000 after unintentionally sucking him up]
Lady Tottington : Victor! Stop fooling around in the dirt and have a look at this. The ingenious Anti-Pesto have completely dealt with my rabbit problem. Isn't it marvellous?
Lord Victor Quartermaine : Marvellous? "MARVELLOUS?"! This confounded contraption virtually suffocated me! Besides, the job's only half-done. How do you intend to finish these vermin off? Crush 'em?
[kicks the side of the Bunvacc]
Lord Victor Quartermaine : Liquidize 'em?
Lady Tottington : They're humane.
Lord Victor Quartermaine : [referring to his hairpiece] "Humane?"! Well, then, perhaps they'd be "humane" enough to give me back my *dignity*!
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Lady Tottington : the gold carrot belongs in the show!
Lord Victor Quartermaine : no, the golden carrot belongs in the Were-Rabbit!
[the Were-Rabbit angrily kicks up Lady Tottington and kicks away Victor as the townspeople, villagers and citizens all run screaming in terror]
Lady Tottington : put me down you big hairy thing you!
[a citizen stops at the vegetable stand to get his vegetable and the Were-Rabbit comes upon him]
Screaming Citizen : [gets knocked over by the Were-Rabbit] AAH!
Lady Tottington : stop! stop!
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Lady Tottington : the gold carrot belongs in the show!
Lord Victor Quartermaine : no, the gold carrot belongs in the Were-Rabbit!
[the Were-Rabbit angrily picks up Lady Tottington, kicks away Victor and stomps around as villagers, citizens and townspeople go running and screaming]
Villager : every man for himself!
Lady Tottington : put me down you great big, hairy thing you!
Screaming Citizen : [stops at the vegetable stand to get his vegetable and gets knocked over by the Were-Rabbit]
[Wilhelm Scream]
Screaming Citizen : AAH!
Lady Tottington : stop! stop!
