"Herz oder Knete", which means something like "Love or money", is a German television film from 2002 (sounds a bit like "Geld oder Liebe, the long-running television show - I wonder if that was intentional), so this one is moving closer to its 20th anniversary and perhaps it happened already depending on when you read this review. Just like the overwhelming majority of small screen releases from my country, this one here runs for 1.5 hours, slightly unter in fact. This is the second of so far four books by writer Annegrit Arens that got turned into movies. I have not read the novel here, so I cannot compare between the original piece and the movie outcome, but looking at the other three films that were made from her works, they seem to have somthing in common: namely that they all turned out in a really poor fashion, so I would not be surprised at all if Arens' writing is not exactly on a high level quality-wise. However, I also don't think that her novels are completely to blame. At least for this film here, some of the scenes and moments and twists were so utterly cringeworthy that I cannot imaggine that the writer would be happy with them at all. Or she just has no taste at all because apparently she kept agreeing for further works to be made into movies and the best theory is just that she does not care and takes the money, but there is no way that she can be happy with how the films look unless she has absolutely no taste at all. Alright, what is also a bit shocking here is that two writers worked on the screenplay and it seems that they not only did not fix each other's mistakes, but brought out the worst in each other. Maximilian and Pauli were already in 2002 pretty experienced, well mildly, and have worked together on many projects before that too. Director Rowitz pretty much the same, not a rookie, but not super experienced. However, if you take a look at all three's bodies of work before this film and afterwards, you will have a hard time finding quality whatsoever. At least the two writers are apparently not working anymore, at least not in film, while Rowitz for some reason still gets picked for new projects.
As for the cast, there are quite a few familiar names in here, basically a quartet: Landgrebe is the one in the center of it all, but Naujoks, Zielcke and Halmer are also not nobodies at all and German film buffs will identify them easily. Still, all four of them have many works in their filmographies that are not good gently-speaking, so they are maybe a bit more famous than they should be. Especially Landgrebe. She was at one point among the most known German actresses (long before this movie here) and I genuinely wonder why. In my opinion, also in stuff like "Die Katze", she has no talent, range or versatility whatsoever. The best thing you could say is that she still looks fairly attractive for her age. Maybe the only good thing. She was 50 or so when this was made. Then again, maybe I only say this because I tend to prefer brunettes. She was never stunning or anything, not even in her younger years. However, Zielcke kinda is in this movie here. I don't think much of her acting either, but looks-wise she was realy high up on the scale. Anyway, back to Landgrebe for a moment: The mess already starts here right away with the very first shot when we have her put on an expensive costume or something and she is overacting so hard in this scene that it is impossible to take. The cringe is there since minute one. The only other moment that had equally bad overacting was Halmer later on when he acts busy while looking at Landgrebe's character. That was really bad too. However, I wwant to say that I don't think Halmer is a terrible actor per se. In that scene he was probably told to act a bit foolishly because his character was acting, pretending to be busy when he was not. Still, it was very awkward. Now let me elaborate on specific scenes and twists. You could say with the immigration idea and gay plot that the film was fairly proggressive. Sadly, both stories were executed really poorly. Minh-Khai Phan-Ti was successful on music television I think, but when VIVA and MTV declined, she went into acting, but the outcome is this. Quite disappointing. She is no Jessica Schwarz, that much is safe, even if the latter is also a bit overrated and me not thinking this way for years was probably only because I was crushing on her quite a bit. Anyway, let's not drift too far away now. The police officer gay story involving Naujoks' character mostly was ridiculous. What was up with that. He had constantly other lovers, but moved in with this one although they barely knew each other after such a short time and yet we are supposed to cheer for him because it is true love? I don't think so. And how come that this specific officer is in charge when there is that illegal immigration investigation. This film plays in a big city and yet exactly this officer is there with another? So unrealistic. Equally unrealistic is the story of Zielcke's character and her lover. I will not go too much into detail there, but it is a constant back-and-forth with pseudo drama that starts with the idea of the two getting married soon and ends with the idea that she only sees a good friend in him? Okay. That makes sense. Not. Especially because nothing leads us to this final twist, so it came out of nowhere. But hey, at least the abysmal soundtrack knew when to get really loud and dramatic to make this not only a bad watch, but also a bad listen.
And then there is the story between Landgrebe's and Halmer's characters. The key issue here is that Landgrebe's character already never felt like a cleaning lady honestly. At least not the way she portrayed it. I mean it was 100% obvious that the actress did not want to hand in her posh dignity and make it look credible. So the film is rotten at its very core already. The pseudo drama near the end with the stolen clothes as also as generic as it gets because there was never any doubt the two would not end up as a couple. This happens basically in the final scene when they were dancing all night long after he confessed her his love and even made a marriage proposal. Yeah, let's go fully over the top now. They were together for how long? Not even weeks, but hey, why not? All the other people in the room applauding was difficult to stomach too. I bet the two writers wanted the audiences in their living rooms to applaud as well and I am sure some that were stupid enough actually did so. By the way, before this scene, the gay couple gets their happy end as well. The police officer was all the time completely hesitant to be public about his feelings for Naujoks' character, but who cares. It's all forgotten and the two kiss in a room full of people. Now that makes sense. Really, to be serious again: If this is how they were trying to get the gay movement forward around that time, then they better should not have done it at all. Contrary to public opinion, it is not enough to include the subject, but you also have to create a convincing plot, which by no means was done here. I mean you cannot expect "Brokeback Mountain", which is a beautiful film, every single time, but they still should have come up with something better than they did here. And if we are speaking ofduos that consist of two men, I also find it shocking how the two (script) writers here are male, but they still included anti-male speech on several occasions and all of it came from Landgrebe's character, but hey it is justified if a powerful and independent woman says stuff like that. But let's not get into detail what would have happened if a male character would have made such stupid sexist generalisations about females. He would have been the main antagonist. But this also shows you that this movie is directed at women mostly, who are at home in the afternoon when this is shown. I appplaud every single one of these women if they see through this charade. This abomination. Absolutely disgusting and disrespectful. Another example is really when the film hits rock bottom with this fashion show at the end. No matter whet "our likable girls" do, it turns into a success and they really want us to believe that this special guest there, influential designer or whatever, thought this very basic performance (why do the enter all at once and stay there?) was in fact high quality. What? It makes no sense. But I guess as the really, really unlikable main antagonist (another female working for Halmer's character) does not get her way, it is alright. Also it made me sick how she was written. Is that what they consider shades and depth in a character? God, what a joke this all is. But if you have seen other stuff by ARD Degeto and Regina Ziegler Filmproduktion, then you won't be surprised at all. Been a while though since I saw both of these despicable film production companies work on the same movie. The outcome is accordingly. A movie that never should have been made and also never should have been shown, most of all it is absolutely inacceptable that this film is still on television over 18 years after its original release. Are you kidding me? Highly, highly not recommended. Skip at any cost!
As for the cast, there are quite a few familiar names in here, basically a quartet: Landgrebe is the one in the center of it all, but Naujoks, Zielcke and Halmer are also not nobodies at all and German film buffs will identify them easily. Still, all four of them have many works in their filmographies that are not good gently-speaking, so they are maybe a bit more famous than they should be. Especially Landgrebe. She was at one point among the most known German actresses (long before this movie here) and I genuinely wonder why. In my opinion, also in stuff like "Die Katze", she has no talent, range or versatility whatsoever. The best thing you could say is that she still looks fairly attractive for her age. Maybe the only good thing. She was 50 or so when this was made. Then again, maybe I only say this because I tend to prefer brunettes. She was never stunning or anything, not even in her younger years. However, Zielcke kinda is in this movie here. I don't think much of her acting either, but looks-wise she was realy high up on the scale. Anyway, back to Landgrebe for a moment: The mess already starts here right away with the very first shot when we have her put on an expensive costume or something and she is overacting so hard in this scene that it is impossible to take. The cringe is there since minute one. The only other moment that had equally bad overacting was Halmer later on when he acts busy while looking at Landgrebe's character. That was really bad too. However, I wwant to say that I don't think Halmer is a terrible actor per se. In that scene he was probably told to act a bit foolishly because his character was acting, pretending to be busy when he was not. Still, it was very awkward. Now let me elaborate on specific scenes and twists. You could say with the immigration idea and gay plot that the film was fairly proggressive. Sadly, both stories were executed really poorly. Minh-Khai Phan-Ti was successful on music television I think, but when VIVA and MTV declined, she went into acting, but the outcome is this. Quite disappointing. She is no Jessica Schwarz, that much is safe, even if the latter is also a bit overrated and me not thinking this way for years was probably only because I was crushing on her quite a bit. Anyway, let's not drift too far away now. The police officer gay story involving Naujoks' character mostly was ridiculous. What was up with that. He had constantly other lovers, but moved in with this one although they barely knew each other after such a short time and yet we are supposed to cheer for him because it is true love? I don't think so. And how come that this specific officer is in charge when there is that illegal immigration investigation. This film plays in a big city and yet exactly this officer is there with another? So unrealistic. Equally unrealistic is the story of Zielcke's character and her lover. I will not go too much into detail there, but it is a constant back-and-forth with pseudo drama that starts with the idea of the two getting married soon and ends with the idea that she only sees a good friend in him? Okay. That makes sense. Not. Especially because nothing leads us to this final twist, so it came out of nowhere. But hey, at least the abysmal soundtrack knew when to get really loud and dramatic to make this not only a bad watch, but also a bad listen.
And then there is the story between Landgrebe's and Halmer's characters. The key issue here is that Landgrebe's character already never felt like a cleaning lady honestly. At least not the way she portrayed it. I mean it was 100% obvious that the actress did not want to hand in her posh dignity and make it look credible. So the film is rotten at its very core already. The pseudo drama near the end with the stolen clothes as also as generic as it gets because there was never any doubt the two would not end up as a couple. This happens basically in the final scene when they were dancing all night long after he confessed her his love and even made a marriage proposal. Yeah, let's go fully over the top now. They were together for how long? Not even weeks, but hey, why not? All the other people in the room applauding was difficult to stomach too. I bet the two writers wanted the audiences in their living rooms to applaud as well and I am sure some that were stupid enough actually did so. By the way, before this scene, the gay couple gets their happy end as well. The police officer was all the time completely hesitant to be public about his feelings for Naujoks' character, but who cares. It's all forgotten and the two kiss in a room full of people. Now that makes sense. Really, to be serious again: If this is how they were trying to get the gay movement forward around that time, then they better should not have done it at all. Contrary to public opinion, it is not enough to include the subject, but you also have to create a convincing plot, which by no means was done here. I mean you cannot expect "Brokeback Mountain", which is a beautiful film, every single time, but they still should have come up with something better than they did here. And if we are speaking ofduos that consist of two men, I also find it shocking how the two (script) writers here are male, but they still included anti-male speech on several occasions and all of it came from Landgrebe's character, but hey it is justified if a powerful and independent woman says stuff like that. But let's not get into detail what would have happened if a male character would have made such stupid sexist generalisations about females. He would have been the main antagonist. But this also shows you that this movie is directed at women mostly, who are at home in the afternoon when this is shown. I appplaud every single one of these women if they see through this charade. This abomination. Absolutely disgusting and disrespectful. Another example is really when the film hits rock bottom with this fashion show at the end. No matter whet "our likable girls" do, it turns into a success and they really want us to believe that this special guest there, influential designer or whatever, thought this very basic performance (why do the enter all at once and stay there?) was in fact high quality. What? It makes no sense. But I guess as the really, really unlikable main antagonist (another female working for Halmer's character) does not get her way, it is alright. Also it made me sick how she was written. Is that what they consider shades and depth in a character? God, what a joke this all is. But if you have seen other stuff by ARD Degeto and Regina Ziegler Filmproduktion, then you won't be surprised at all. Been a while though since I saw both of these despicable film production companies work on the same movie. The outcome is accordingly. A movie that never should have been made and also never should have been shown, most of all it is absolutely inacceptable that this film is still on television over 18 years after its original release. Are you kidding me? Highly, highly not recommended. Skip at any cost!
