- Misti Morning: Why did you have to kidnap me? I'd be happy to help out with Tiffani's wedding with serving the food and appetizers.
- Fuad Ramses III: No, no my dear Misti. I don't want you to serve appetizers. I need you to "be" appetizers.
- Detective Loomis: I think there's a more sinister picture here. Now what do we have? Three dead girls, missing kidneys, missing eyes, missing liver. Now, what does that add up to?
- Detective Myers: Eight?
- Detective Loomis: No. I mean what does that tell you?
- Detective Myers: There's a pattern?
- Detective Loomis: Yes, there's a pattern. Organ harvesters.
- Detective Myers: I say we pay this Ramses guy a visit. It seems he's taken up killing just his dear old grandfather.
- Detective Loomis: Allright, I'm with you. If there's nothing else, maybe he's got some éclairs or something 'cause I'm hungry.
- Detective Myers: We're on to you Ramses! We know what you're doing! Harvesting human organs for the black market! You savage fiend! We're gonna nail your hide to the wall!
- Detective Loomis: Shhh! Come here. You know how much free food I'm gonna get out of this guy? Do you know how much free food I'm gonna get from this guy? You cost me one cream puff and I will break my foot off in your ass!
- Tiffani Lampley: You brought a gun to our wedding?
- Detective Myers: I always carry a gun. It's the coolest thing about being a cop.
- Brandi Alexander: Is Michael well equipped to constipate your marriage?
- Trixi Treeter: Don't you mean consummate?
- Brandi Alexander: No, silly. Consummate is a kind of soup.
- [a possessed Detective Myers stabs Mrs. Lampley in her eyes with knitting needles]
- Tiffani Lampley: Michael! What are you doing? You'll ruin her contacts!