"Liebe, Tod & viele Kalorien"is a German television film from 2001 and the literal translation here would be "Love, death and many calories". This clearly shows us that this film took itself seriously in terms of drama, yet wanted also to make an impact as a comedy movie and, to some extent, romance movie as well. It came short in every department as you can see from my rating. Besides, the title also feels really clumsy. What is also confusing me a bit is the imdb page, the poster in particular. This depicts the young Horst Janson, who palyed a key character in this film, but the photo is taken from decades back when he was still relatively young and looked a lot like Clint Eastwood. The age of this photo you can also see from the fact that it is in black-and-white still. And I mentioned clumsy already: The way the title of this film and the names of some of the actors are include there fits this description very nicely too. Let's stay with the basics. This is one of the earlier, if not earliest ARD Degeto productions, the company that released hundreds, if not thousands, of films over the last 20 years, all of them funded by money that the German people was forced to pay to ARD etc. And almost all of these films had terrible quality. Just as bad as this one, so you can call it a bit of a trailblazer. In the most negative possible sense though. Sometimes they were adapted from books. Here, Christine Vogeley wrote the novel this is based on and it is one of only two films out there based on her books. According to imdb. The late Gabriele Kister adapted the screenplay and her prolific involvement with Rosamunde Pilcher tells you exactly which direction this is heading. Deep down south on the quality scale. Writer Dietmar Klein's body of working is not looking any better. An abomination in its entirety basically, so this film here was doomed from the start really.
As for the cast, I mentioned Jansen already and kinda said to see where his career went. Maybe he never was about more than the looks. I still would not put him as low as the one and only lead actress here: Theka Carola Wied. She physically resembles Lily Tomlin, but even if I am not even close to liking Tomlin as much as I once did, she is 100 times the actress Wied has even been. Wied is truly unwatchable. Everything she made at least in the last 20 years was exactly the same. She has no range, no versatility, no talent and makes a few cheap bucks here and there with Degeto playing allegedly strong, independent female characters because these films are obviously made for women. There are so many cringeworthy examples here. Take the moment she puts on the sunglasses very early on and poses right in front of the camera. Take the scene only very briefly afterwards in which she buys exquisite seafood. Take the mention how she once was a successful architect or studied architecture or something. Take the fact how she immediately catches a fish. What a desirable woman. What a stunning woman. What a talented woman. I hope you see the irony here. The actress i no such thing and all her characters are utter make-believe. As for the rest of the cast, there is not too much to say. Renneberg (pretty attractive here) and Nelleßen you may still come across here and there. Schornagel seems retired. Seeberg is apparently not getting cast anymore. Luckily! And Westphal is no longer with us.
Let me mention a few more moments and scenes when this film really hit rock bottom. Most involved Wied, but not exclusively. The ways in which she was depicted as so amazing and caring etc. Were painful to watch really. I feel bad for everybody who falls for this nonsense. And I applaud everybody, especially older women, who see how unrealistic and unauthentic this movie is. Of course, with her husband treating her disrespectfully, the next suitor is already immediately there for Wied's character. Oh yes, there was this marijuana moment when one character screams out this was the reason for another character's death after a motorbike accident. Probably the worst moment of the entire film and it was so embarrassing to see how they wanted this to be funny. Not even close. Also it showed us how the other slightly older female characters are not classy at all compared to our Paula (Wied). Even the younger ones like Seeberg's are not in her league. She has to deal with the death of her sister, her unfaithful and uncaring husband and also with the sister's inheritance and she masters it all like a champ of course. Janson's character was also depicted as the main antagonist here. Even Seeberg's character chooses the other man in the end, after being so in favor of the idea that the much older man finally leaves his wife, so they can be together. Well, the story is not even trying to make sense it seems. I have not read the book, so I cannot say if the issue is there already, but I kinda feel that at least to some extent this is the case. Then there is the burglary scene of course which Wied's character obviously does not admit afterwards and this was so cringeworthy to watch how they even wanted this to be a slightly thrilling crime movie therewith comedic tendencies.
I already mentioned the unfaithful husband. He is really depicted as the worst of the worst. Forgetting the wedding anniversary (of course Wied's character knows he did), lying to his wife constantly on the phone, calling her disrespectful names linked to her weight etc. Of course, he also gets the full punishment in the face literally in the end, has nobody anymore at his side and is depending on Wied's character that he will not have to go to jail for tax evasion. This character is really a prime example of poor writing when it comes to male characters and it happened to many times in these Degeto films. And still people are only complaining when it happens with the opposite gender. Take the son who has absolutely no purpose other than being a love interest to the dead woman's daughter. And to show us how great his woman is when she irons his clothes and how incompetent he is at the same time. Or take the new suitor to Wied's character constantly courting her. But she is of course too independent to enter into something new right away, no matter how bad her husband treated her before. Oh yes, she is also amazing in the kitchen and really caring when it comes to the people close to her if they deserve it and she has a guilty conscience that she did not fix the relationship with her sister etc. Couödn't be more gooey. But yeah, with the men, the new suitor is also as one-dimensional as it gets for a character. Adds nothing.
This is pretty much it then. I could mention many other scenes during which this film sucked, but I think you got the message. One thing that is also always a problem with Degeto is how exaggerated the music is. Here it felt especially true during the dramatic scenes like the deadly accident, but also the burglary I mentioned earlier (hey if Wied's character commits a crime, it is absolutely okay as long as it helps in punishing her husband), but also the moment when two younger characters are kissing for the first time. Could not have been any more stereotypical. It seems really that romance between cousins was not that much of an issue back then. I mean it's still a bit of a taboo today I guess and not as impossible as romance between siblings. So it is maybe at least an interesting film from a historic perspective in terms of romance/sexuality. Yes, I have to dig really deep here to find positive components. Oh, it's also really positive that they did not make a sequel or anything. The movie runs as always with Degeto slightly under 1.5 hours and the inclusion of Ziegler's production company is another safe indicator that this film is among the very worst out there. A real contender for worst movie of 2001, not just from Germany, but worldwide. Absolutely unwatchable stuff. The worst about it all is how it takes so seriously from beginning to end as if it was actually telling an authentic story with deep characters. Unreal stuff. Stay far, far away.
As for the cast, I mentioned Jansen already and kinda said to see where his career went. Maybe he never was about more than the looks. I still would not put him as low as the one and only lead actress here: Theka Carola Wied. She physically resembles Lily Tomlin, but even if I am not even close to liking Tomlin as much as I once did, she is 100 times the actress Wied has even been. Wied is truly unwatchable. Everything she made at least in the last 20 years was exactly the same. She has no range, no versatility, no talent and makes a few cheap bucks here and there with Degeto playing allegedly strong, independent female characters because these films are obviously made for women. There are so many cringeworthy examples here. Take the moment she puts on the sunglasses very early on and poses right in front of the camera. Take the scene only very briefly afterwards in which she buys exquisite seafood. Take the mention how she once was a successful architect or studied architecture or something. Take the fact how she immediately catches a fish. What a desirable woman. What a stunning woman. What a talented woman. I hope you see the irony here. The actress i no such thing and all her characters are utter make-believe. As for the rest of the cast, there is not too much to say. Renneberg (pretty attractive here) and Nelleßen you may still come across here and there. Schornagel seems retired. Seeberg is apparently not getting cast anymore. Luckily! And Westphal is no longer with us.
Let me mention a few more moments and scenes when this film really hit rock bottom. Most involved Wied, but not exclusively. The ways in which she was depicted as so amazing and caring etc. Were painful to watch really. I feel bad for everybody who falls for this nonsense. And I applaud everybody, especially older women, who see how unrealistic and unauthentic this movie is. Of course, with her husband treating her disrespectfully, the next suitor is already immediately there for Wied's character. Oh yes, there was this marijuana moment when one character screams out this was the reason for another character's death after a motorbike accident. Probably the worst moment of the entire film and it was so embarrassing to see how they wanted this to be funny. Not even close. Also it showed us how the other slightly older female characters are not classy at all compared to our Paula (Wied). Even the younger ones like Seeberg's are not in her league. She has to deal with the death of her sister, her unfaithful and uncaring husband and also with the sister's inheritance and she masters it all like a champ of course. Janson's character was also depicted as the main antagonist here. Even Seeberg's character chooses the other man in the end, after being so in favor of the idea that the much older man finally leaves his wife, so they can be together. Well, the story is not even trying to make sense it seems. I have not read the book, so I cannot say if the issue is there already, but I kinda feel that at least to some extent this is the case. Then there is the burglary scene of course which Wied's character obviously does not admit afterwards and this was so cringeworthy to watch how they even wanted this to be a slightly thrilling crime movie therewith comedic tendencies.
I already mentioned the unfaithful husband. He is really depicted as the worst of the worst. Forgetting the wedding anniversary (of course Wied's character knows he did), lying to his wife constantly on the phone, calling her disrespectful names linked to her weight etc. Of course, he also gets the full punishment in the face literally in the end, has nobody anymore at his side and is depending on Wied's character that he will not have to go to jail for tax evasion. This character is really a prime example of poor writing when it comes to male characters and it happened to many times in these Degeto films. And still people are only complaining when it happens with the opposite gender. Take the son who has absolutely no purpose other than being a love interest to the dead woman's daughter. And to show us how great his woman is when she irons his clothes and how incompetent he is at the same time. Or take the new suitor to Wied's character constantly courting her. But she is of course too independent to enter into something new right away, no matter how bad her husband treated her before. Oh yes, she is also amazing in the kitchen and really caring when it comes to the people close to her if they deserve it and she has a guilty conscience that she did not fix the relationship with her sister etc. Couödn't be more gooey. But yeah, with the men, the new suitor is also as one-dimensional as it gets for a character. Adds nothing.
This is pretty much it then. I could mention many other scenes during which this film sucked, but I think you got the message. One thing that is also always a problem with Degeto is how exaggerated the music is. Here it felt especially true during the dramatic scenes like the deadly accident, but also the burglary I mentioned earlier (hey if Wied's character commits a crime, it is absolutely okay as long as it helps in punishing her husband), but also the moment when two younger characters are kissing for the first time. Could not have been any more stereotypical. It seems really that romance between cousins was not that much of an issue back then. I mean it's still a bit of a taboo today I guess and not as impossible as romance between siblings. So it is maybe at least an interesting film from a historic perspective in terms of romance/sexuality. Yes, I have to dig really deep here to find positive components. Oh, it's also really positive that they did not make a sequel or anything. The movie runs as always with Degeto slightly under 1.5 hours and the inclusion of Ziegler's production company is another safe indicator that this film is among the very worst out there. A real contender for worst movie of 2001, not just from Germany, but worldwide. Absolutely unwatchable stuff. The worst about it all is how it takes so seriously from beginning to end as if it was actually telling an authentic story with deep characters. Unreal stuff. Stay far, far away.
