Jackass (2000–2007)

Johnny Knoxville: Self

Photos 

Quotes 

• [opening line] 

  Johnny Knoxville : Hi, I'm Johnny Knoxville. Welcome to "Jackass"!

• Johnny Knoxville : I have a full grown, semi-nude man bound with duct tape in my truck and I was trying to get out to the desert to bury him. How do I get to 5 South?

• Johnny Knoxville : [while getting doused with red wine]  Now I know what it feel like to be my liver!

• [the last line of the last episode] 

  Johnny Knoxville : That's it, it's over. We should probably head to the bar now.

• [Johnny is arguing with a parrot] 

  Johnny Knoxville : Don't tell me to fuck off, say "Jackass".

• [after being sprayed with Pepper Spray] 

  Johnny Knoxville : I feel like my eyes have gonorrhea.

• Preston Lacy : Um, tonight we're gonna get spanked by a couple of dominatrixes, up in 301.

  Johnny Knoxville : Dominatrices.

  Preston Lacy : Dominatrices? Sorry, my English ain't so good.

• Scott Potasnik : You guys are gonna hate me an hour from now.

  Johnny Knoxville : We hate you already.

• Chris Pontius : From my experiments with sexiness, it seems like a lot of people are afraid at first, and fear usually equals violence. But eventually I'll win their hearts, and instead of fighting, they'll want to make love to me.

  Johnny Knoxville : Even the men?

  Chris Pontius : Yep.

• Johnny Knoxville : In the movie Cool Hand Luke, Paul Newman eats fifty hard boiled eggs without puking in one hour. We didn't think that was possible, so we staged our own little contest to see if any man OR woman could eat fifty eggs without puking. Well one thing; in our contest we encourage puking.

• Johnny Knoxville : [standing in the middle of the road]  Hi, I'm Johnny Knoxville and I'm about to get hit by a car real soon!

• Johnny Knoxville : You're the crappiest human bowling ball I ever saw in my whole life!

• Johnny Knoxville : So, we've driven an hour north from Miami to Boca Raton, believe it or not, to film Steve-O jump into nine days worth of elephant poo.

• Johnny Knoxville : [to a cow]  Hi sweetie, I'm gonna inseminate you artificially... maybe for real if you play your cards right.

• Johnny Knoxville : [while duck hunting]  We killed Quack Quack!

• Johnny Knoxville : You were about five feet short of a ten-foot jump.

• Johnny Knoxville : I'm Johnny Knoxville and welcome to Jackass!

• Johnny Knoxville : There's no such thing as a pretty good gator wrestler.