- Lionel Bloch: To serve people takes dignity and intelligence. But remember, they are only people with money. And although we serve them, we are not their servants. What we do, Miss Ventura, does not define who we are. What defines us is how well we rise after falling.
- Jerry Siegel: What press are you affiliated with?
- Ty Ventura: I'm 10.
- Jerry Siegel: What about your parents, are they Democrat or Republican?
- Ty Ventura: What's the difference these days?
- Christopher Marshall: I love this kid.
- Jerry Siegel: Well, what's not to love.
- Marisa Ventura: [on Chris] I let him think I'm staying in the suite, not cleaning it. I'm the maid, Ty.
- Ty Ventura: Ma, I hate to break it to you, but I don't think he's after your money.
- Marisa Ventura: [deeply surprised] I can't believe you just said that!
- Marisa Ventura: Look, you have to listen to me, I know you're used to getting your way.
- Christopher Marshall: Yeah, until I met you.
- Marisa Ventura: There's millions of women who are just dying for you to look their way.
- Christopher Marshall: [laughing] Yeah? Then why are you making me work so hard?
- Marisa Ventura: The first time you saw me, I was cleaning your bathroom floor! Only you didn't see me.
- Christopher Marshall: What was I supposed to do, introduce myself while I'm taking a leak?
- Christopher Marshall: Look, can we start over? Second chance, second date? You are you, me as me. No secrets. What do you think?
- Marisa Ventura: Marisa Ventura. Housekeeping.
- Christopher Marshall: Chris Marshall. Candidate for Senate. I'd appreciate your vote.
- Marisa Ventura: We'll see.
- [Running after Marisa when she leaves a benefit early]
- Christopher Marshall: Caroline. Caroline. Caroline. Do you have somewhere else you have to be?
- Marisa Ventura: No, I just have to leave.
- Christopher Marshall: Well, I don't think you're leaving. I think you're running. And what I can't figure out is, are you running towards something you want? Or are you running away from something you're afraid to want?
- Marisa Ventura: Look, I've made so many mistakes already. I just don't want to make it worse.
- Christopher Marshall: You won't. I promise.
- Marisa Ventura: There's something you don't know, okay? Oh, God. How do I tell you this? Look, the first time that you saw me I was...
- Christopher Marshall: You were mesmerizing.
- [meeting Marisa's son, Ty]
- Christopher Marshall: I'm Chris.
- Jerry Siegel: I'm bald and no one in particular.
- Ty Ventura: I know who you are.
- Christopher Marshall: Yeah? What do you know?
- Ty Ventura: I know that you're the state assemblyman. I know that you're thinking of running for Senator. I know your voting record and your consistent stand on environmental causes.
- Caroline Lane: What do you think? Dolce coat, Gucci pants or Ralph Lauren skirt, Manolo pumps?
- Rachel Hoffberg: Ooh, they're both divine! Let's see. How about the pants, open sandals, see-through blouse, colored-bra and I'd carry the Dolce coat for effect.
- Caroline Lane: Maria?
- Rachel Hoffberg: She barely speaks English.
- [Marisa mutters something in Spanish under her breath]
- Rachel Hoffberg: What?
- Marisa Ventura: Excuse me?
- Caroline Lane: Maria, what do you think?
- Marisa Ventura: What about the beaded skirt with that beige crocheted halter you have hanging in the closet? You know, casual sexy. No stockings. Definitely eighty six the coat. It sends the wrong message. Looks like you're going someplace.
- [looking at Rachel who is wearing a see-through blouse and colored-bra]
- Marisa Ventura: Besides, that whole see-through blouse, colored-bra thing... reads a little, you know, desperate, older gal, trying too hard. Don't you think? Yeah, you want to make him work for it.
- Rachel Hoffberg: Who does she think she is, to talk to me like that?
- Caroline Lane: Thank you, Maria. I have two words for you Rachel Hoffberg: Eric who?
- Marisa Ventura: [accidentally deliberately whips Rachel with the bedspread] Excuse me. Sorry.
- Marisa Ventura: There was a part of me that wanted to know what it felt like, to have someone like you look at me the way you did just once. And I'm sorry. Truly. If I could rewind the past week, I would.
- Christopher Marshall: Was any of it real?
- Marisa Ventura: Yeah, it was real. It was so real I wondered how I was ever gunna give you up. But I had to give you up. That was the plan. And then, last night, I couldn't.
- Marisa Ventura: Hey, look at me.
- Ty Ventura: What?
- Marisa Ventura: You got something on your face there.
- Ty Ventura: Where?
- Marisa Ventura: Ooh, right there!
- [Marisa starts kissing his cheeks]
- Ty Ventura: Ma! Mom! Mom, no! Stop!
- Marisa Ventura: There it is. I got it.
- Ty Ventura: Why did they break up?
- Marisa Ventura: Who?
- Ty Ventura: Simon and Garfunkel.
- Marisa Ventura: You got me. You can Google it at school.
- Jerry Siegel: Who the hell is she?
- Christopher Marshall: I'll tell you who she isn't. She isn't like anyone I've ever met before. And she isn't a phony. I'll make you a deal, wonder man. You want me at the benefit tomorrow night? Then get her to go, and I swear to God, I'll shake any part of Maddox's body you want me to. Deal?
- Jerry Siegel: Deal. All right. Sure. Okay.
- Christopher Marshall: You're beautiful.
- Marisa Ventura: So are you.
- Christopher Marshall: Thank you for being here.
- Marisa Ventura: I only came to tell you that this, you and me, can't go anywhere beyond this evening. It just can't.
- Christopher Marshall: Well, then, you should have worn a different dress.
- Christopher Marshall: Do I look as stupid as you think I am?
- Jerry Siegel: No. No, I mean, you're not stupid. What, what are you talking about?
- Reporter: Mr. Marshall, what's your relationship with the Latin community?
- Jerry Siegel: Excellent! He speaks Latin... Spanish.
- Stephanie Kehoe: You know what I just heard? Christina? History after the first!
- Marisa Ventura: Christina, kitchen? Or Christina, assistant manager?
- Stephanie Kehoe: Assistant manager. And you know what that means?
- Marisa Ventura: Yeah, it means somebody else is gonna be bustin' my ass on the second.
- Marisa Ventura: [to Chris] Come on, who's kidding who here? Do you think you would have taken a second look at me if you knew I was the maid? With all due respect.
- Caroline Lane: Oh, Chris, I'm terribly sorry to interrupt your busy morning, but we thought you should know what was going on as soon as possible.
- Christopher Marshall: What is going on?
- Caroline Lane: The woman you thought was a guest on this floor is the maid on this floor. Aren't you, Marisa?
- Christopher Marshall: No. Wait, her name is Caroline.
- Caroline Lane: No, Chris, darling, that's my name. She steals clothes, identities...
- Christopher Marshall: What the hell's happening here? Why are you dressed that way? Caroline?
- [looks at her maid attire]
- Christopher Marshall: Is this true?
- [pause]
- Marisa Ventura: Yeah, it is.
- Jerry Siegel: Jesus Christ! The press is gonna have a field day with this one.
- John Bextrum: There's no reason to involve the press.
- Jerry Siegel: How are you going to prevent her from speaking?
- Caroline Lane: This would never happen at the Four Seasons.
- John Bextrum: And I can assure you it has never happened here before either. Lionel, you are slipping. You should have noticed something. I am disappointed.
- Marisa Ventura: Please, Mr. Bextrum, he had nothing to do with this.
- Lionel Bloch: Of course, sir. I understand.
- John Bextrum: We'll talk about this later. Miss Ventura, you no longer work here. Please go to security, hand in your passes and your ID, and you'll be escorted from the building.
- Marisa Ventura: Yes, sir.
- Christopher Marshall: Is that really necessary?
- Jerry Siegel: Chris, let the man do his job, okay?
- [first lines]
- Marisa Ventura: Come on. Get your coat. We gotta go. You have everything?
- Ty Ventura: Yeah.
- Marisa Ventura: Hurry up, sweetie. We're late, Ty. Today papí. You're killing me, Ty. Right now, you're killing mommy.
- Marisa Ventura: Anything good on?
- Keef Townsend: [changes channel on the surveillance monitor showing a naked man outside his hotel room] He opened the door for the paper. The wife just pushed him out.
- Marisa Ventura: Ooh, that nasty butt first thing in the morning, I'd kick him out too.
- [Keef laughs]
- Marisa Ventura: Oh, my God. Wait a minute. He's one of mine, the lactose intolerant.
- Keef Townsend: I like how you name the people. What do you call me behind my back, I wonder?
- Paula Burns: Onto new business. Mr. Radcliff is checking out of seven oh nine. Mr. Greenwald is checking in. He's back on the wagon, so let's clear out the minibar. Kanga CFO, Mr. Fukimoro is checking into eight fourteen. Stock Evian, shampoo the rugs and extra slippers for his guests. Marisa heads up on the Madison Suite.
- Marisa Ventura: Housekeeping.
- Paula Burns: Mrs. Sage is arriving with the children, preferably after Mr. Sage's girlfriend departs.
- Mr. Sage's Girlfriend: You son of a bitch!
- Paula Burns: Let's make sure it's a smooth transition. The Guedj sisters are back. Let's track them on surveillance, but do keep an eye on all bathrobes, cutlery and light fixtures. Sotheby's director, Caroline Lane has switched from the Four Seasons. She requested a park view and favors purple orchids and lavender scenes. Assemblyman Chris Marshall arrives today. He's gearing up his campaign, so his suite will be doubling as a conference centre, with the liquor and coffee bars turning over every four hours. And he's bringing his large dog, so we'll need proper accouterments. And finally, Mr. Newman is back in the Sherman Suite. Careful, ladies, he's a Full Monty.
- Full Monty: Oh... I had no idea anyone was here.
- Stephanie Kehoe: Don't worry about it, Mr. Monty. It's no big deal. And I do mean...
- Marisa Ventura, Stephanie Kehoe: ...No big deal.
- Christopher Marshall: [reading about himself in the paper] "Sentimental favorite and playboy politico, Assemblyman Chris Marshall"... guess you missed a few words there, Jerry.
- Christopher Marshall: Where are you going?
- Jerry Siegel: That depends. Where are you going?
- Christopher Marshall: Bathroom. Alone.
- Jerry Siegel: Yeah. Fine. Go. Great. Yeah. Sure.
- Christopher Marshall: Thank you.
- Jerry Siegel: Call me if you need anything.
- Marisa Ventura: What?
- Veronica Ventura: I'm not saying a word.
- Marisa Ventura: Can you not say a word somewhere else?
- Marisa Ventura: What are you doing?
- Stephanie Kehoe: Ooh... Dolce, nice.
- Marisa Ventura: No, no, no, come on, out of there.
- Stephanie Kehoe: I'm just taking a little peek. They're going back anyway.
- Marisa Ventura: Oh... You know you're gonna get us in trouble.
- Stephanie Kehoe: [touching the Dolce dress] Hello, ladies.
- Marisa Ventura: Leave that stuff alone. Come on. You know, you're supposed to be helping me out in here.
- Stephanie Kehoe: Oh, feel this material. I mean, it's like butter. Huh?
- Marisa Ventura: Oh, my God. This stuff is five thousand dollars.
- Stephanie Kehoe: For one white outfit? How do you keep it clean?
- Marisa Ventura: Scotchguard.
- Stephanie Kehoe: Oh, yeah. They're a six, you're a six.
- Marisa Ventura: What are you doing? What are you doing?
- Stephanie Kehoe: And shoes too. Shoes. Size nine. Perfect.
- Marisa Ventura: I'm a seven and a half.
- Stephanie Kehoe: Which means you're an eight. Just put on some gym socks, you're good to go.
- Marisa Ventura: That's it! Put this stuff back. What are you doing?
- Stephanie Kehoe: Not until you try it on.
- Marisa Ventura: I can't try on her clothes!
- Stephanie Kehoe: They're not hers. They're not Dolce's. Technically, they've been abandoned. Oh, let's not let them hear us.
- Marisa Ventura: Who, the clothes?
- Stephanie Kehoe: Marisa Ave Maria Ventura... When are you and I ever get to try on a five thousand dollar anything? Come on, feel how the other half feels, huh?
- Christopher Marshall: He's friendly. His name's Rufas. So what are you listening to?
- Ty Ventura: "The Best of Bread".
- Christopher Marshall: "The Best of Bread"? Interesting. What's your name?
- Ty Ventura: Ty.
- Christopher Marshall: Nice to meet you, Ty.
- Stephanie Kehoe: Hi, honey.
- [to Marisa]
- Stephanie Kehoe: It's Ty! What are you doing up here?
- Ty Ventura: Where's Mom?
- Stephanie Kehoe: [seeing Chris walking in] It's for you, ma'am.
- Marisa Ventura: What are you talking about? Ty, don't you...?
- Ty Ventura: Hey, Ma, this is Chris. He's got a giant, grey dog named Rufas. And if you say okay, I'm gonna walk with him, okay?
- Christopher Marshall: Hello.
- Marisa Ventura: Hi.
- Ty Ventura: Let's not forget. I'm a kid and I need fresh air. Please, can I go, Mom? Please? Please?
- Christopher Marshall: I'm Chris Marshall.
- Stephanie Kehoe: Caroline... you want your coat?
- Marisa Ventura: What?
- Stephanie Kehoe: The weather can be so tricky here. Weren't you just saying, what a beautiful day it was?
- Christopher Marshall: Oh, you're going out?
- Stephanie Kehoe: Weren't you saying how you wanted to stretch your legs?
- Christopher Marshall: Well, if your husband wouldn't mind...
- Ty Ventura: She doesn't have a husband.
- Marisa Ventura: I don't have a husband.
- Christopher Marshall: Well, I insist, then. Come with us, if you're free.
- Ty Ventura: Yeah. Come on, Mom.
- Christopher Marshall: How long are you in town for?
- Marisa Ventura: I'm not sure.
- Christopher Marshall: You always stay at the Beresford?
- Marisa Ventura: Sometimes, I feel like I live there.
- Marisa Ventura: Monday? I'm busy, sorry.
- Christopher Marshall: You're busy you can't? What? Can you change it?
- Marisa Ventura: It's complicated. Which reminds me, I gotta get out of here. Come on, Ty. We gotta go.
- Stephanie Kehoe: "It's complicated"? What kind of answer is that?
- Marisa Ventura: Honest.
- Stephanie Kehoe: The only thing complicated between me and him would be unhooking my bra strap.
- Marisa Ventura: Look, what am I supposed to do? Make his bed with me in it? Get real! He thinks I'm a guest, here.
- Paula Burns: A Beresford maid is expedient. A Beresford maid is thorough. A Beresford maid serves with a smile. And above all, a Beresford maid strives to be invisible.
- Clarice: Maybe we can disappear one day all together?
- Marisa Ventura: [seeing a picture of her in the paper] Do you understand this could be bad?
- Stephanie Kehoe: Don't be such a Catholic. Please?
- Caroline Lane: [to Marisa] You are so good. Thank God! You should be a personal assistant.
- Rachel Hoffberg: She's a maid.
- Caroline Lane: So are they, with better titles.
- Christopher Marshall: She's about five-six, dark hair, really beautiful, has a kid named Ty. What the hell happened?
- Lionel Bloch: I'm sorry, Sir.
- Christopher Marshall: Don't be sorry. Just find her.
- Caroline Lane: Oh, Chris, I loved your quote in "The Times".
- Christopher Marshall: Please!
- Marisa Ventura: I mean, I don't know what I'm doing here, Steph. What am I doing? This is all a lie.
- Stephanie Kehoe: No, honey. It's more like a dream, you know? And for one night, you're living it for all of us. Don't think about tomorrow. Don't think about anything but tonight. Tonight, the maid is a lie. And this, this is who you really are.
- Caroline Lane: Oh, Chris. Oh, Chris. I can't help but feel that this is partly my fault.
- Christopher Marshall: It isn't. Spare yourself.
- Caroline Lane: At least, let me buy you lunch. After all, we've only got each other to get through this humiliation.
- Christopher Marshall: Caroline, the first lunch was a mistake. A second would be complete torture.
- Caroline Lane: Drinks, then?
- [last lines]
- Reporter: What do you think, Sir? You two got a chance? Sir?
- Caroline Lane: A Harry Winston wreath?
- Marisa Ventura: Morning.
- Rachel Hoffberg: Isn't that that maid?
- Caroline Lane: I mean, where would a maid get that necklace? I thought maybe...
- John Bextrum: I'll fast-forward through this, and you just point her out if you see her.
- [Bextrum fast-forwards video]
- Caroline Lane: Oh, wait, could you just go back on that bit?
- [Bextrum rewinds video]
- Caroline Lane: I mean, it could be her. Let's just - Can we just go forward?
- [Bextrum fast-forwards video once more until the video shows Marisa and Ty waiting at the elevator wearing the coat]
- Caroline Lane: [deeply shocked] Wait! That's my Dolce coat!
- John Bextrum: How could you have missed this?
- Keef Townsend: I'm sorry, sir.
- John Bextrum: Lionel. Marisa.
- Caroline Lane: Oh. Well, that's interesting. She told me her name was Maria.
- Marisa Ventura: I thought it would be impolite to correct you.
- Caroline Lane: And I suppose you think it's polite to steal people's clothes?
- Marisa Ventura: I didn't steal...
- Paula Burns: [door knocks and Lionel answers] Miss Ventura, Mr. Bextrum has spent the last 30 minutes trying to persuade Miss Lane not to press formal charges. I suggest you say as little as possible.
- Caroline Lane: We have it all on video.
- John Bextrum: Was everything returned?
- Marisa Ventura: Yes, sir.
- Ty Ventura: I know everyone makes mistakes. And as a character, to give the person a second chance, right?
- Christopher Marshall: Right, I'm with you.
- Ty Ventura: Even if someone lied, they should be forgiven. Otherwise, we'd never have any congressmen or presidents. What if you're not a politician trying to do good for everybody? What if you're just a regular person, like a maid or something? And she made a mistake. Do you think she could get a second chance? I mean, nobody's perfect, right?
- Christopher Marshall: No, nobody's perfect. Ladies and gentlemen of the press, take a look at a future candidate.