Gilmore Girls (2000–2007)
Keiko Agena: Lane Kim, Lane Van Gerbig
Photos
Quotes
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Dave Rygalski : A few weeks ago you told me that Lane had a crush on me. Well, I have a crush on her, too. Now, I know you have very strict rules about dating and boys, but I just want you to know that I'm a good person. I don't smoke, I don't drink, I've never gotten a ticket, I'm healthy, I take care of myself, I floss. I never watch more than 30 minutes of television a night partly because I think it's a waste of time and partly because there's nothing on. I respect my parents, I do well in school, I never play video games in case they do someday prove that playing them can turn you into a serial killer. I don't drink coffee. I hate soda because the carbonation freaks me out. I'm happy to give up meat if you feel strongly about it. I don't mind wearing a tie. I enjoy playing those hymns on my guitar, and I really, really want to take your daughter to the prom.
Dave Rygalski : [Mrs. Kim doesnt say anything] Mrs. Kim? Please don't make me repeat that list again.
Mrs. Kim : Let never day nor night unhallow'd pass, but still remember what the Lord hath done.
Dave Rygalski : Okay, thank you.
Dave Rygalski : [Dave and Lane walk outside] Did you hear what she said?
Lane : Yes, I did.
Dave Rygalski : What did it mean?
Lane : I don't know.
Dave Rygalski : Was it a yes, was it a no?
Lane : I'm not sure.
Dave Rygalski : Well, it's gotta be from the bible, right? So I'll just go home, do some research, look on the Internet, see what I can find. I'll call you when I know something.
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Lane : The very concept of childbirth is vaguely disturbing.
Rory : Yeah. Kids are cool and all, but getting there seems like a big cosmic joke.
Lane : Definitely thought up by a man.
Rory : My mom said that when she told me where babies come from.
Lane : My mom still hasn't told me.
Rory : Really?
Lane : When my cousin got pregnant, she said it's because an angel brushed its wings against her face.
Rory : I could fill you in on the details sometime if you want.
Lane : No thanks, I've picked it up off the streets.
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Zach : Dude, Brian's breathing is louder than the song.
Brian : I've got a deviated septum. All the women in my family and me have it.
Zach : Well, it's throwing me off.
Lane : Hold your breath when we're playing, Brian. There, problem solved. Okay, come on, now, let's rock. One, two, three...
Zach : Wait. The bottom line here is that breathing should not be louder than a rock band. Am I right or am I right?
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Lane : Lorelai!
Lorelai : Hi Lane!
Lane : You're in possession.
Lorelai : Of what?
Lane : Of the wedding dress.
Lorelai : Oh, um yeah, it's safe and sound. I was just starting to dig into it.
Lane : Don't dig! Slice, kick, maim, destroy!
Lorelai : What?
Lane : Stick a mad pack of wolves on it, douse it with lighter fluid and turn it into ash, I cannot wear that dress!
Lorelai : Yeah I know. It's a little Old World.
Lane : Have you looked at it?
Lorelai : Parts of it.
Lane : Exactly, you can't take it in all at once, the human eye is not capable.
Lorelai : Oh, it's not that bad.
Lane : Its got pants.
Lorelai : [intakes breath] No!
Lane : You didn't look at it very carefully.
Lorelai : Well, I will remove the pants.
Lane : Oh, it's every girl's dream to hear the woman altering her wedding dress say "I'll remove the pants."
Lorelai : I'm sure once I alter it a little...
Lane : No don't alter it, have an accident! Leave a warm iron on it, spill a vat of acid on it, run your car over it!
Lorelai : Lane. Lane! I haven't even put it on the mannequin yet. Let me startwork on it and I will keep you fully posted every step of the way.
[Later Lorelai is looking at the awful thing, picks up the hoop skirt end and notices the tiny white pants with gold trim underneath, steps away for a second then steps back and spills the coffee she is holding all over it]
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Zach : Yeah. Dave, you're a Christian. So what? That's cool.
Brian : It's nothing to hide.
Zach : Christians can still rock.
Dave : They can?
Lane : Yeah, yeah, Dave. Christians can still rock, don't hide it.
Zach : Marshall Stacks don't know Christians from atheists.
Dave : Gosh, I just wasn't sure if you guys would be accepting of my devoutness.
Brian : Dave, it's a part of you, and we think you're cool, so it's cool.
Dave : Great. Thanks, guys.
Zach : But no way are we playing Creed, man.
Dave : Oh, no, of course not.
Zach : Or Amy Grant. That's where we draw the line.
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Dave : Anyhow, I hadn't seen you in a while, and I thought I'd come down and maybe we could figure something out on this band issue.
Lane : Sure, we could do that.
Dave : Plus, I missed you.
Lane : You did? You missed me?
Dave : Well, yeah. Did you miss me?
Lane : Oh, yeah, definitely. I definitely, definitely missed you.
Dave : Glad and relieved to hear it.
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Lane : How are you doing, Kirk?
Kirk : Great. I'm loving this blackened Cajun bread Luke made for me. I didn't even ask for it.
Lane : It's burnt toast, Kirk. You don't have to eat it.
Kirk : But I'm loving it. And look, I've been mixing black ash with the runny eggs. Goes great with the fishy-tasting bacon.
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Lane : [upset and exasperated with the results of her career aptitude test] Sales!
Rory : Lane.
Lane : Sales!
Rory : It's just a stupid test.
Lane : Lane Kim, you show a genuine aptitude for sales!
Rory : [trying to placate Lane] It doesn't mean anything!
Lane : [speaking even faster than normal] Hello, ma'am, I see you're eyeing the new Whipomatic! Nice Choice! This baby's right off the truck! And let me tell you if you're looking for something to fulfill all your whipping needs, you've come to the right place, because as Devo says, "When trouble comes along you must whip it!" As long as you whip it with a Whipomatic.
Rory : [bemused] Wow, you *are* good.
Lane : Stop it!
Rory : I'll take two.
Lane : I don't want to be in sales.
Rory : You don't have to be.
Lane : I want to be in something cool!
Rory : How about refrigerators?
Lane : You're not funny!
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Kyon : What are we doing here?
Lane : I've tried to explain it to her but it is not working.
Rory : We are throwing my grandmother a bachelorette party.
Kyon : But she is married.
Rory : Yeah, but, they are doing it again.
Kyon : But why?
Rory : Because, they want to tell each other they love each other all over again.
Kyon : But why?
Rory : 'Cause they do.
Kyon : But why?
Rory : Because its fun.
Kyon : But why?
Rory : Because...
[looks at Lane]
Lane : Hey, you lasted one more "but why" than I did.
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Zach : [the band are talking about new replacement, Gil] Right here
[points to his eyes]
Zach : , he's got some lines. That blows my mind.
Brian : What is he, late thirties?
Zach : Approaching forty.
Lane : Forty?
Brian : He was alive before man walked on the moon.
Zach : Don't do that, man. You're freaking me out.
Lane : Let's not be over-dramatic, guys. I mean, he is an incredible guitarist.
Zach : He's had a lot of time to practice.
Brian : And the bicentennial - he was alive for that.
Lane : This is the best we've sounded since Dave, and he's really...
Zach : Elderly.
Lane : Excited.
Brian : He was our age when we were born.
Lane : He thinks we're great
Brian : There were no cd's when he was born.
Zach : Stop it, man. I mean it.
Lane : Maybe there's a way to offset his oldness. Put a hat on him. Dress him up like Angus Young in AC/DC - that schoolboy outfit.
Brian : He could have seen AC/DC with their original lead singer.
Zach : And 1980 is when that guy choked on his own vomit. That's old.
Lane : You want to stop the audition?
Brian : We shouldn't be rude.
Lane : Good.
Zach : Fine, we'll keep going, but remember, any new member has to be approved by all of us. So one vote against, and he's back at bingo.
Lane : I know.
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Dave : Wow, you run really quiet.
Lane : Sorry, I'm sorry about everything.
Dave : What?
Lane : The whole night. I had no idea she'd make you play five straight hours without a break.
Dave : It's okay.
Lane : Your hands must be dead.
Dave : They're just a little numb. But I've got these Kurt Cobain calluses now, how cool is that?
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Lane : Hi.
Dave Rygalski : Hi, and hi.
Lane : Uh, this will not be the mental image you carry around of me the rest of the week.
Dave Rygalski : No, it won't. Hold on, I just saw the back. Yes, it will.
