- Dracula: Crunch, Brunch, bring the revival spray and awaken our guests.
- Crunch: Bles Blaster,
- [arrives wearing a revival spray pack]
- Crunch: Turn it on, turn it on.
- Brunch: Roger old boy.
- [turns the knob]
- Crunch: [sticks the hose into Draculas face] Roger? But I'm not Roger, I'm Crunch!
- Dracula: You're going to be history if you don't take that thing off my face!
- Crunch: Bloops.
- Shaggy: [looking at the swamp monster] Why that's a whole week of nightmares, huh.
- [Swamp Monster laughs at Dreadonia]
- Dreadonia: Hezzzzz talking about you.
- Swamp Monster: He means you, knot-nose.
- Dreadonia: Who you calling namezzzzz?
- [Swings his tail at the Swamp Monster, Swamp Monster ducks. Takes a handful of slime from his chest and throws it at Dreadonia. Dreadonia ducks. The slime hits the fat witch in the face. The thin witch laughs. The fat witch hits the other with a broom. Frankenstein laughs. The thin witch walks up to him]
- Witch: If you think that's funny, you'll laugh your head off at this!
- [Waves her wand at Frankenstein. His face turns different colors and his head disappears. Bone-Jangles and the Mummy laugh as Frankenstein walks up to them and pops his head out from under his shirt. Then he grabs the mummy and throws him. Dracula gets caught in the bandages as well as the other monsters and lands with a crash. The mummy, stuck in a suit of armor, throws a spear]
- Dracula: Wait a minute...
- [the spear whizzes past Dracula and snags of the witches cloaks leaving them in their skirts. They pull out their wands and wave them]
- Dracula: [Raises his arms to a 'stop' position] WAIT A MINUTE!
- [the spells burn holes through his cape, causing the witches to hide their wands behind their backs]
- Shaggy: [Scooby's dragged him out of bed and they've fallen down the stairs] Scooby Doo!
- Scooby- Doo: Monsters, coming to get you!
- Shaggy: [laughs] Coming to get me?
- Scooby- Doo: Honest!
- Shaggy: Monsters through the roof, huh?
- Scooby- Doo: That's right.
- Shaggy: Okay so then where's the hole?
- Scooby- Doo: [points up] Up there.
- Shaggy: Where?
- Scooby- Doo: Right up...
- [looks up and sees the ceiling in one piece]
- Scooby- Doo: Huh?
- Scrappy Doo: Don't worry Uncle Scooby, we still love ya, even if ya are a wacko.
- Vanna Pira: [reading about Shaggy] It says he's an American, and he's cute.
- Dracula: A cute werewolf? Bah, the Hunch Bunch will take care of that.
- Vanna Pira: Oh no! Not the Hunch Bunch!
- Frankenstein: Not the Hunch Bunch!
- Swamp Monster: Ohhhhh yuck!
- Witch: They're so awful!
- Frankenstein: And so horrible!
- Dracula: Yes!
- [laughs]
- Dracula: The Hunch Bunch!
- Brunch: This will blow their minds, as well as their ears, now take the microphone old boy and hold it near the water.
- Crunch: Blokay.
- [puts the microphone under the leaky faucet, causing it to electrocute them both and blow up]
- Brunch: I say pick up your ears old friend, I said NEAR the water not IN it.
- Scrappy Doo: Thanks for taking us on your date with Googie to the drive-in, Shag.
- Shaggy: Confidentially I didn't want to leave your Uncle Scooby home alone, you know how he's been seeing things that aren't there lately?
- [the Hunch Bunch is seen flying the Batcopter above them]
- Scooby- Doo: Monsters are not real, monsters are not real,
- [sees Brunch out the window]
- Scooby- Doo: , monsters are not, huh?
- [looks out the window and sees Crunch and Brunch, runs and spills the popcorn bowl on Shaggy's head]
- Shaggy: Scooby Doo, what's wrong with you?
- Scooby- Doo: [inside the couch] Monsters at the window!
- Shaggy: I don't see any old monsters outside.
- Brunch: Ah but soon there will be a new monster inside, the moon is moving quickly into position. Come Crunch, we must turn Shaggy into a werewolf.
- Scooby- Doo: Oh no!
- Brunch: [he and Crunch are imitating cats on a fence to keep Shaggy up] Meow, meow, I say, meow.
- [Frankenstein throws his shoes at them and knocks them out]
- Frankenstein: Doggone kitty cats.
- Brunch: Never fear, we shall get your werewolf tomorrow night, or our name isn't the hunch bunch.
- Dracula: You'd better get him this time or your names will be mud, or maybe even blood.
- Crunch: [panics] BLOOD?
- [Exclaims something uninteligible to Brunch, accidentally hitting him with spit in the process]
- Dracula: Please do have some spiderweb spaghetti.
- Scooby- Doo: Sp-sp-sp-spiderweb?
- Dracula: And you must try the plasma pizza.
- [Scooby turns green]
- Dracula: And the wart pudding.
- [Scooby swallows and faints]
- Scrappy Doo: [carrying Scooby off] Come on, Shaggy, let's get out of here.
- Dracula: Wait! You haven't tried the finger sandwiches, made with REAL fingers.
- [Dracula has tricked the Werewolf Wagon into a detour leading into the tar pits]
- Dracula: Shaggy's road is the pits. Tar pits, that is.
- Dracula: What I want to know is, where's my werewolf?
- Screamer: He's in Florida your majesty, he sent this postcard.
- Dracula: Hmmmm...
- [reading]
- Dracula: "Dear Drac, am having wonderful time in retirement, glad you're not here, Wolfy." Bah! How dare he retire just before the Monster Road Rally? Doesn't he know all the monsters of my realm have to be in the race?
- Dracula: [singing dazedly, after hitting a level crossing, and landing on the front of a train engine with a coal tender, a coach, and a boxcar] Pardon me, boy, is this the Transylvania choo choo?
- Bonejangles: You've got a lot to learn in this race. In this race, anything goes.
- Shaggy: Like if anything goes, then here we go!
- [pushes a button on the control panel in his racecar activating a giant spring under his racecar which bounces him forward]
- [Shaggy and Scooby are telling Googie and Scrappy to keep cool when they try to save them from the Hunch Bunch]
- Brunch: Cool? No, no. What's called for here is an application of heat. Hot stuff. I mean, *hot*. Such as a dip in Lava Pit Lake.
- [the Hunch Bunch now has the two captives above the lake; they drop them]
- Brunch: Toodle-oo, little crew. It's bye-bye time.
- [But Shaggy and Scooby save Googie and Scrappy]
- Googie: [as Shaggy, Scooby, and Scrappy are howling shortly after eating food from Tomb Service] Hey, what kind of beans are in this stuff?
- Brunch: Scream beans, they grow wild in our torture chamber.
- Googie: Scream beans? Oh that's terrible!
- Brunch: [as he and Crunch put their fingers in their ears] You can say that again. Crunch, tell the chef that his cooking is again out of tune!