WCW Monday Nitro (1995–2001)

Eric Bischoff: Eric Bischoff, Eric Bischoff - Commentator, Self, Self - New World Order, Eric Bischoff - New World Order, Self - NWO Hollywood, Eric Bischoff - NWO Hollywood, Eric Bischoff - commentator, Self - Commentator, Self - commentator

Quotes 

• Eric Bischoff : [Hogan is holding a "Vince Fears Bischoff" sign]  That's true. He fears everyone about right now.

  Hulk Hogan : Well you know... boss... friend... now that you have proven that you are the one true boss on the planet of wrestling... it's just nice to know I'm your number one henchmen.

• Eric Bischoff : [Bischoff's infamous challenge to Vince McMahon during their real-life rivalry]  There's no need for spins or dirt-sheets. We can settle this like true men, Vince. Just you, and me. You can do it... come on, Vince. Step into the ring. Do what so many other people would love to do. Get your hands around my skinny little neck. You can do it... if you've got the guts. Do you, Vince? Have you got the guts to REALLY show up? I do... do you? Just think of it. Just think how great you'll feel if you're able to step into the ring and break my jaw... knock me out... snap an arm or a leg! Whatever you'd like, Vince! It's no big thing. But it takes guts. That's what it's gonna take, Vince. Have you got the guts, Vince? We'll find out... we'll be waiting for you, Vinnie Mac. With open arms.

• Eric Bischoff : [to Scott Hall]  I don't want any trouble with you here, now. But I do have to point out, you came out here last week. Where is it? The big surprise. I mean, I've heard a lot of talk, but where's the walk?

  [Hall points behind Bischoff, where Kevin Nash is standing] 

  Eric Bischoff : What? I'm here. Where is he?

  [Nash grabs Bischoff, spins him around, and grabs the microphone] 

  Kevin Nash : You've been sitting out here for six months running your mouth. This is where the big boys play, huh? Look at the adjective: play. We ain't here to play. Now he said last week that he was gonna bring somebody out here. I'm here. You still don't have your three people. And you know why? Because nobody wants to face us. This show's about as interesting as Marge Schott reading excerpts from "Mein Kampf"!

  Eric Bischoff : No trouble here tonight. Speak your piece and...

  Kevin Nash : Yeah, no trouble 'cause you know I'll kick your teeth down your throat. Where's your three guys? What, you couldn't get a paleontologist to get a couple of these fossils cleared? You ain't got enough guys off of dialysis machine to get a team? Yeah, where's Hogan? Where's Hogan? Out doing another episode of "Blunder in Paradise"? Where's the Macho Man, huh? Doing some Slim Jim commercial? Hey, we're here. You wanna say something?

  Eric Bischoff : [taking the mic]  Look, I don't have the authority for right here, right now. You wanna fight? Fight isn't with me. You want three guys? Tomorrow morning at nine o'clock, I'm gonna be in Atlanta, I'll be in the offices of WCW, I'll try and get you your fight. And you know what? Live, this Sunday in Baltimore, Great American Bash, you guys wanna show up? You wanna fight? You show up, I'll see if I can get you your fight.

  [Nash grabs the mic back] 

  Kevin Nash : [to Hall]  I don't know about you, but hey, they love us in Baltimore.

  Scott Hall : Hey. Hey, big man, I say me and you, we be at the Bash, maybe these punks wanna fight.

  Kevin Nash : Yeah.

  Eric Bischoff : I'll be there.

  Kevin Nash : Bring what you got! The measuring stick just changed around here, pal. You're looking at it.

• Eric Bischoff : Let's clear something up first. Do you work for the WWF?

  Kevin Nash : No.

  Eric Bischoff : How about it?

  Scott Hall : No. Forget about this past Chico, worry about the future.

• Tony Schiavone : You kind of ran to the back there, when Sting came out.

  Eric Bischoff : Diet drink. You oughta give it a try.

• Eric Bischoff : [Making fun of the taped WWF Raw show]  There's even a rumor that our competition will be live next week!

• Eric Bischoff : Kev, you're from Detroit. There's no way a guy from Detroit is going to lose.

  Kevin Nash : Exactly. Guys from Detroit don't lose, ever.

• Eric Bischoff : [Bischoff spoils a surprise that the WWF had been hyping for months]  Don't bother turning to our competition tonight. The "higher power" they keep talking about, I don't want to give anything away here, but his initials are "VKM."

• Eric Bischoff : You know, as I look around this crowd tonight, I wonder what you must be thinking. And I wonder what *Vince McMahon* is thinking, sending his little wannabes around, demanding to talk to armoir. The problem is, he only sends them where he *knows* I'm not going to be. You show up at WCW offices in Atlanta on a Monday, and Sean Waltman I think even you're smart enough to realize, I probably won't be there. But that's okay. I don't even mind. Because Waltman, I know you're just McMahon's little puppet. You guys do what he tells you to do. So Vince McMahon, this is for you. We got a little pay-per-view coming up. We're gonna be in YOUR back yard, Vince. So I got a hell of an idea. Just a hell of an idea. Vince... you want me? Well, consider this a formal invitation... you show up at Slamboree, and it will be Vince McMahon and Eric Bischoff, IN THE RING. But I want to warn you. If you actually think Vince McMahon has the guts to show up, don't buy the pay-per-view. Because I promise you he is not man enough to face me. But Vince, you show up, it'll be me and you. And I'm going to knock you out. Thank you all very much!

• Eric Bischoff : Raw fears ratings!

• Eric Bischoff : [making fun of the taped WWF Raw show]  There's even a rumor that our competition will be live next week!