Markus Redmond: The Male's Friend (Jimmy)
Photos
Quotes
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Narrator : Males of the pack sense the progression of the mating dance as well.
The Male's Friend : Fucked her?
The Male : Fucked her.
The Male's Friend : Cool.
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The Male's Friend : You just met her last night. If you call her now, you'll scare her off.
The Male : Oh come on, man. I don't play those games.
The Male's Friend : Don't do it, man. She'll think you want her.
The Male : I do want her.
The Male's Friend : I know, but if she thinks that, she'll find somebody else.
The Male : Someone who doesn't want her?
The Male's Friend : Someone cool.
The Male : Oh, but I'm not cool.
The Male's Friend : Exactly. That's why you got to wait a few days before you call her. And when you do ask her out, act like you're doing *her* a favor, you know? Like you don't give a damn if she says yes or no 'cause you got all these other chickadees waiting for you.
The Male : And that'll impress her?
The Male's Friend : Right into the sack.
Narrator : Please do not adjust your universal translator. We are not experiencing technical difficulties. This is a human thing. It makes no sense to us either.
The Male's Friend : Heed my words, Grasshopper. Be patient. Be a champion.
The Male : You know, Jimmy, it occurs to me that I haven't seen you with a woman in about three years.
The Male's Friend : Right. That's because I always phone them the very next morning.
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The Male's Friend : You're going to call her, aren't you?
The Male : No.
The Male's Friend : Tell the truth.
The Male : Okay. You're developing a serious body odor problem, but I don't think that's relevant.
The Male's Friend : Ahahaha...
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Narrator : [the male searches the pockets of his dry-cleaned blazer hoping to find the female's phone number] The male searches through his animal skins. Perhaps the female is inside.
[the male pulls out the destroyed remains of the napkin with the female's number]
Narrator : Blinded by his need to procreate, the male shows some lint to the other member of the pack. "Is this the female I seek?" he asks.
The Male's Friend : Yep, you're an asshole.
Narrator : "No, it is not," responds the other.
