Topsy-Turvy (1999)

Charles Simon: Gilbert's Father

Quotes 

• Lucy Gilbert (Kitty) : I do apologize, sir, that neither I nor Schwenck was here to welcome you on your arrival last night.

  Gilbert's Father : I do not appreciate being left upon the doorstep like a hawker!

  Gilbert : If you'll only take the trouble to press the electric bell, Father, you'll be admitted at once. Is that not so, Pidgeon?

  Pidgeon, Gilbert's Houseman : Indeed it is, sir.

  Gilbert's Father : I have no intention of placing my life in danger, sir!

  Gilbert : How many doorstep deaths have we had thus far, Pidgeon?

  Pidgeon, Gilbert's Houseman : None to my certain knowledge, sir.

  Gilbert : There you are, Father. The odds would appear to be in your favour.

• Gilbert's Father : [on Gilbert's mother]  She is a veritable gorgon.

  Gilbert : She is indeed, and she has chosen her own path, and in so doing, she has turned her back on yourself and myself. And for that small mercy we should both of us be eternally grateful.

• Gilbert's Father : Am I to understand, sir, that you have been in communication with your mother?

  Gilbert : No, Father, not for some considerable time, I'm glad to say.

  Gilbert's Father : You are a liar, sir.

  Gilbert : No, sir. I can assure you, Papa, that the very last person with whom I wish to have any communication at all is your estranged wife, the vicious woman who bore me into this ridiculous world.

  Gilbert's Father : How dare you, sir? Have you no respect?

  Gilbert : Don't misunderstand me, Father. Nobody respects her more than I do, and I can't stand the woman.

• Gilbert's Father : A father should not have to seek permission to visit his own son!

  Gilbert : The son shouldn't be expected to be clairvoyant.

• Lucy Gilbert (Kitty) : Schwenk speaks to The Savoy every morning in code, father-in-law. Just in case the telephone operator should be eavesdropping.

  Gilbert's Father : One might as well open the window and shout down the street.