The Royle Family (1998–2012)

Liz Smith: Norma Speakman, Nana

Photos 

Quotes 

• Norma Speakman : Would you like a sandwich, love?

  Dave Best : No thanks, Nana.

  Norma Speakman : There's no Picalilly left in this jar.

  Jim Royle : You're joking. Do you think we can continue with the celebrations in the face of that revelation?

• Norma Speakman : I never drink, me, just a sherry at Christmas, whiskey at New Year, and a bottle of stout.

• Norma Speakman : [after Dave agrees to take her home]  Oh, you're a good'n. I'll leave you something nice in my will.

  Dave Best : Hey--why wait till then? There'll be plenty of room in the back of the van when you get out--I've had my eye on that clock of yours.

  Norma Speakman : Ha, ha--you cheeky begger. Hugh Scully'd give us a few bob for that.

  Denise Royle : Will you stop talking about Nana dying?

  Jim Royle : Yeah! Have a little bit of respect--wait till she's gone out of the door.

  [laughs] 

  Jim Royle : Oh, I'm only joking, Norma--bloody hell, it'll be a sad day in this house when you snuff it... if we don't get that clock.

  Barbara Royle : Oh--he hasn't got a heart, Mam--he's got a swinging brick.

• Norma Speakman : May God forgive you, Jim Royle, for talking ill of the dead like that.

  Jim Royle : I wasn't speaking ill of the dead, I was speaking about you, the living bloody dead!

• Norma Speakman : [talking about Dave and Denise's honeymoon]  So, where is it you're going again?

  Denise Royle : Tenerife.

  Norma Speakman : Ooh, that'll be gorgeous, won't it! Me and your grandad went to Blackpool for a week in a B&B. It's a Harry Ramsden's now, which is quite fitting as we met in a fish shop, It was after the town hall dance, I went there with my friend Betty.

  Barbara Royle : Oh, Betty.

  Barbara Royle : She married a joiner, moved to Leeds, he knocked her about a bit, but her home was lovely.

  Mary Carroll : Do you ever hear from her, Norma?

  Norma Speakman : No, I never liked her even when we were best friends.

• Norma Speakman : Where's your best man, Barry, innit?

  Dave Best : No, Gary. He's got to work, he can't get the morning off, he's coming straight from the butcher's.

  Jim Royle : It's all we want, innit, the church stinking of bloody mince.

  Twiggy : Ey, you know what'll happen, don't ya, he'll put his hand in his pocket for the ring and pull out a pork chop.

• Norma Speakman : Ey, I tell you who is in hospital, Gwen's husband.

  Barbara Royle : Ooh, what's he having done?

  Norma Speakman : He's having something fitted.

  Jim Royle : What--a wardrobe?

• Norma Speakman : Is this hat too far forward?

  Jim Royle : No, we can still see your face.

• Norma Speakman : [about her eye surgeon]  D'ya know what he said, Barbara? He said, even though I'm taking the cataract out of your eye, I'm leaving the twinkle in.