Carpool (1996)
David Paymer: Daniel Miller
Photos
Quotes
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[location: in their van which is inside a refrigeration truck]
Andrew : It's freezing.
Franklin : Huddle together if you're cold, I'll turn on the heat.
Daniel : That's brilliant. See in order to get heat you have to turn on the engine, thereby trapping the fumes and rendering us all dead by asphixiation.
Franklin : In that case forget the heat. Hey who farted? Did you cut the cheese, Dan?
Daniel : For God's sake, no I did not.
Franklin : How about you, Kayla?
Kayla : Girls don't fart.
Franklin : Really? Come over to my house sometime and ask my mom why all our cats committed suicide.
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Daniel : [about the ferris wheel] I'm not getting on that death trap.
Franklin : Oh we won that law suit.
Daniel : Huh?
Franklin : Okay we tied, but it's still safe. Come on, I'll show you how to operate it. It's so easy a trained monkey could do it and it did until that uproar with the Humane Society.
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Daniel : Can't one of the neighbors drive the carpool? What about Mr. Kopek?
Mrs. Miller : He's 88.
Daniel : So he'll drive real slow.
Mrs. Miller : He's had three strokes.
Daniel : But never while driving.
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[Daniel races for the phone. Franklin stops him]
Franklin : No calls! That is, no obscene calls. He's trying to quit.
Daniel : I am not.
Franklin : Well you should! What's your phone number?
Daniel : 9-1-1.
Franklin : Very funny. Do realize if I get arrested you won't make your meeting because you'll be filling out police reports until next October.
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Andrew : I want to be the hostage!
Kayla : How come I never get to be the hostage?
Travis : That's because you're a girl.
Bucky : Hey, girls can be hostages, too. I mean, we're moving toward the twenty-first century and girls can be whatever they want.
Kayla : Right on, sister.
Daniel : Ok, quiet down or nobody gets to be the hostage!
Bucky : Well, that made sense, dad.
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Andrew : Look, Mr. Kopek's working in his yard.
Daniel : Yeah. Let this be a lesson to you kids, the world says that he's too old to drive a car but look at him, he's a vibrant, healthy old man who can do anything he put's his mind to.
Andrew : Dad, Mr. Kopek's not wearing his pants.
Daniel : Yeah so from now on you kids stay away from him okay?