"A Stunning Achievement" -New York Times (faux review) "A Brutal Ballet" -Rex Reed (faux review) "A Whole New Approach" -American Cinematographer (faux review) "I Soiled Myself" -Leonard Maltin (faux review) "Shoot Me, Too" -Gene Shalit (faux review) "Riveting. Spellbinding. A Cinematic Tour-de-Force" -Gene Siskel (faux review) "I'm Lactating" -Roger Ebert (faux review) "I Am Spartacus!" -Joel Siegel (faux review) "I'm Gonna Sue!" -Quentin Tarantino (faux review)