Samuel L. Jackson credited as playing...
Jules Winnfield
- Brett: H-H-He's black...
- Jules: Go on!
- Brett: He's bald...!
- Jules: Does he look like a bitch?
- Brett: What?
- Jules: [shoots Brett in the shoulder] DOES HE... LOOK... LIKE A BITCH?
- Brett: No!
- Jules: Then why you tryin' to fuck him like a bitch, Brett?
- Brett: I didn't...!
- Jules: Yes, you did. Yes, you did, Brett! You tried to fuck him.
- Brett: [gasping] No, no...
- Jules: But Marcellus Wallace don't like to be fucked by anybody except Mrs. Wallace.
- Jules: You, flock of seagulls, you know why we're here? Why don't you tell my man Vincent where you got the shit hid at?
- Marvin: It's over th...
- Jules: I don't remember askin' you a Goddamn thing! You were saying?
- Roger: It's in the cupboard.
- [Vincent starts looking in the upper cupboard]
- Roger: No, no, the one by your kn-knees.
- Jules: We happy?
- [Vincent continues staring at the briefcase's contents]
- Jules: Vincent! We happy?
- Vincent: Yeah, we happy.
- Brett: I'm sorry, I didn't get your name. I got yours, Vincent, right? But I didn't get yours...
- Jules: My name's Pitt. And your ass ain't talkin' your way out of this shit.
- Brett: No, no, I just want you to know... I just want you to know how sorry we are that things got so fucked up with us and Mr. Wallace. We got into this thing with the best intentions and I never...
- Jules: [Jules shoots the man on the couch] I'm sorry, did I break your concentration? I didn't mean to do that. Please, continue, you were saying something about best intentions. What's the matter? Oh, you were finished! Well, allow me to retort. What does Marsellus Wallace look like?
- Brett: What?
- Jules: What country are you from?
- Brett: What? What? Wh - ?
- Jules: "What" ain't no country I've ever heard of. They speak English in What?
- Brett: What?
- Jules: English, motherfucker, do you speak it?
- Brett: Yes! Yes!
- Jules: Then you know what I'm sayin'!
- Brett: Yes!
- Jules: Describe what Marsellus Wallace looks like!
- Brett: What?
- Jules: Say 'what' again. Say 'what' again, I dare you, I double dare you motherfucker, say what one more Goddamn time!
- Vincent: And you know what they call a... a... a Quarter Pounder with Cheese in Paris?
- Jules: They don't call it a Quarter Pounder with cheese?
- Vincent: No man, they got the metric system. They wouldn't know what the fuck a Quarter Pounder is.
- Jules: Then what do they call it?
- Vincent: They call it a Royale with cheese.
- Jules: A Royale with cheese. What do they call a Big Mac?
- Vincent: Well, a Big Mac's a Big Mac, but they call it le Big-Mac.
- Jules: Le Big-Mac. Ha ha ha ha. What do they call a Whopper?
- Vincent: I dunno, I didn't go into Burger King.
- Jules: I'm not giving you that money. I'm buying something from you. Wanna know what I'm buyin' Ringo?
- Pumpkin: What?
- Jules: Your life. I'm givin' you that money so I don't have to kill your ass. You read the Bible?
- Pumpkin: Not regularly.
- Jules: There's a passage I got memorized. Ezekiel 25:17. "The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of the darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy My brothers. And you will know I am the Lord when I lay My vengeance upon you." Now... I been sayin' that shit for years. And if you ever heard it, that meant your ass. You'd be dead right now. I never gave much thought to what it meant. I just thought it was a cold-blooded thing to say to a motherfucker before I popped a cap in his ass. But I saw some shit this mornin' made me think twice. See, now I'm thinking: maybe it means you're the evil man. And I'm the righteous man. And Mr. 9mm here... he's the shepherd protecting my righteous ass in the valley of darkness. Or it could mean you're the righteous man and I'm the shepherd and it's the world that's evil and selfish. And I'd like that. But that shit ain't the truth. The truth is you're the weak. And I'm the tyranny of evil men. But I'm tryin', Ringo. I'm tryin' real hard to be the shepherd.
- Vincent: Want some bacon?
- Jules: No man, I don't eat pork.
- Vincent: Are you Jewish?
- Jules: Nah, I ain't Jewish, I just don't dig on swine, that's all.
- Vincent: Why not?
- Jules: Pigs are filthy animals. I don't eat filthy animals.
- Vincent: Bacon tastes gooood. Pork chops taste gooood.
- Jules: Hey, sewer rat may taste like pumpkin pie, but I'd never know 'cause I wouldn't eat the filthy motherfucker. Pigs sleep and root in shit. That's a filthy animal. I ain't eat nothin' that ain't got sense enough to disregard its own feces.
- Vincent: How about a dog? Dogs eats its own feces.
- Jules: I don't eat dog either.
- Vincent: Yeah, but do you consider a dog to be a filthy animal?
- Jules: I wouldn't go so far as to call a dog filthy but they're definitely dirty. But, a dog's got personality. Personality goes a long way.
- Vincent: Ah, so by that rationale, if a pig had a better personality, he would cease to be a filthy animal. Is that true?
- Jules: Well we'd have to be talkin' about one charming motherfuckin' pig. I mean he'd have to be ten times more charmin' than that Arnold on Green Acres, you know what I'm sayin'?
- Jules: [Vincent and Jules are cleaning the inside of the car which is covered in blood] Oh, man, I will never forgive your ass for this shit. This is some fucked-up repugnant shit.
- Vincent: Jules, did you ever hear the philosophy that once a man admits that he's wrong that he is immediately forgiven for all wrongdoings? Have you ever heard that?
- Jules: Get the fuck out my face with that shit! The motherfucker that said that shit never had to pick up itty-bitty pieces of skull on account of your dumb ass.
- Vincent: I got a threshold, Jules. I got a threshold for the abuse that I will take. Now, right now, I'm a fuckin' race car, right, and you got me the red. And I'm just sayin', I'm just sayin' that it's fuckin' dangerous to have a race car in the fuckin' red. That's all. I could blow.
- Jules: Oh! Oh! You ready to blow?
- Vincent: Yeah, I'm ready to blow.
- Jules: Well, I'm a mushroom-cloud-layin' motherfucker, motherfucker! Every time my fingers touch brain, I'm Superfly T.N.T., I'm the Guns of the Navarone! IN FACT, WHAT THE FUCK AM I DOIN' IN THE BACK? YOU'RE THE MOTHERFUCKER WHO SHOULD BE ON BRAIN DETAIL! We're fuckin' switchin'! I'm washin' the windows, and you're pickin' up this nigger's skull!
- The Wolf: Jimmie, lead the way. Boys, get to work.
- Vincent: A please would be nice.
- The Wolf: Come again?
- Vincent: I said a please would be nice.
- The Wolf: Get it straight buster - I'm not here to say please, I'm here to tell you what to do and if self-preservation is an instinct you possess you'd better fucking do it and do it quick. I'm here to help - if my help's not appreciated then lotsa luck, gentlemen.
- Jules: No, Mr. Wolf, it ain't like that, your help is definitely appreciated.
- Vincent: I don't mean any disrespect, I just don't like people barking orders at me.
- The Wolf: If I'm curt with you it's because time is a factor. I think fast, I talk fast and I need you guys to act fast if you wanna get out of this. So, pretty please... with sugar on top. Clean the fucking car.
- Jules: I don't wanna hear about no motherfuckin' ifs. All I wanna hear from your ass is, You ain't got no problem, Jules. I'm on the motherfucker. Go back in there, chill them niggers out and wait for the cavalry which should be coming directly.
- Marsellus: You ain't got no problem, Jules. I'm on the motherfucker. Go back in there, chill them niggers out and wait for the Wolf who should be coming directly.
- [cleaning their bloody hands]
- Jules: Fuck, nigga, what the fuck did you do to his towel?
- Vincent: I was dryin' my hands.
- Jules: You're supposed to wash 'em first!
- Vincent: You watched me wash 'em.
- Jules: I watched you get 'em wet.
- Vincent: I was washing 'em. But this shit's hard to get off. Maybe if I had Lava or something, I coulda done a better job.
- Jules: I used the same fuckin' soap you did and when I got finished, the towel didn't look like no goddamn Maxi-Pad!
- Jules: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa... stop right there. Eatin' a bitch out, and givin' a bitch a foot massage ain't even the same fuckin' thing.
- Vincent: It's not. It's the same ballpark.
- Jules: Ain't no fuckin' ballpark neither. Now look, maybe your method of massage differs from mine, but, you know, touchin' his wife's feet, and stickin' your tongue in her Holiest of Holies, ain't the same fuckin' ballpark, it ain't the same league, it ain't even the same fuckin' sport. Look, foot massages don't mean shit.
- Vincent: Have you ever given a foot massage?
- Jules: [scoffs] Don't be tellin' me about foot massages. I'm the foot fuckin' master.
- Vincent: Given a lot of 'em?
- Jules: Shit yeah. I got my technique down and everything, I don't be ticklin' or nothin'.
- Vincent: Would you give a guy a foot massage?
- [Jules gives Vincent a long look, realizing he's been set up]
- Jules: Fuck you.
- Vincent: You give them a lot?
- Jules: Fuck you.
- Vincent: You know, I'm getting kinda tired. I could use a foot massage myself.
- Jules: Man, you best back off, I'm gittin' a little pissed here.
- [Jules, Vincent and Jimmie are drinking coffee in Jimmie's kitchen]
- Jules: Mmmm! Goddamn, Jimmie! This is some serious gourmet shit! Usually, me and Vince would be happy with some freeze-dried Taster's Choice right, but he springs this serious GOURMET shit on us! What flavor is this?
- Jimmie: Knock it off, Julie.
- Jules: [pause] What?
- Jimmie: I don't need you to tell me how fucking good my coffee is, okay? I'm the one who buys it. I know how good it is. When Bonnie goes shopping she buys SHIT. I buy the gourmet expensive stuff because when I drink it I want to taste it. But you know what's on my mind right now? It AIN'T the coffee in my kitchen, it's the dead nigger in my garage.
- Jules: Oh, Jimmie, don't even worry about that...
- Jimmie: [interupting] No, No, No, No, let me ask you a question. When you came pulling in here, did you notice a sign out in front of my house that said "Dead Nigger Storage"?
- Jules: Jimmie, you know I ain't seen no...
- Jimmie: [cutting him off again; getting angry] Did you notice a sign out in front of my house that said "Dead Nigger Storage"?
- Jules: [pause] No. I didn't.
- Jimmie: You know WHY you didn't see that sign?
- Jules: Why?
- Jimmie: 'Cause it ain't there, 'cause storing dead niggers ain't my fucking business, that's why!
- [Jules and Vincent take Marvin with them in their car and Vincent's gun goes off and blows Marvin's head off]
- Vincent: Whoa!
- Jules: What the fuck's happening, man? Ah, shit man!
- Vincent: Oh man, I shot Marvin in the face.
- Jules: Why the fuck did you do that!
- Vincent: Well, I didn't mean to do it, it was an accident!
- Jules: Oh man I've seen some crazy ass shit in my time...
- Vincent: Chill out, man. I told you it was an accident. You probably went over a bump or something.
- Jules: Hey, the car didn't hit no motherfucking bump!
- Vincent: Hey, look man, I didn't mean to shoot the son of a bitch. The gun went off. I don't know why.
- Jules: Well look at this fucking mess, man. We're on a city street in broad daylight here!
- Vincent: I don't believe it.
- Jules: Well believe it now, motherfucker! We gotta get this car off the road! You know cops tend to notice shit like you're driving a car drenched in fucking blood.
- Vincent: Just take it to a friendly place, that's all.
- Jules: This is the Valley, Vincent. Marsellus ain't got no friendly places in the Valley.
- Vincent: Well Jules, this ain't my fucking town, man!
- Jules: Shit!
- [Jules dials a number on his cell phone]
- Vincent: What you doin'?
- Jules: I'm calling Jimmie, my old partner. He lives in Toluca Lake.
- Vincent: Where's Toluca Lake?
- Jules: It's just over the hill here over by Burbank Studios. If Jimmie's ass ain't home, I don't know what the fuck we're going to do, man. 'Cause I ain't got no other partners in 8-1-8.
- [into the phone]
- Jules: Hey Jimmie, yo! How you doin', man? It's Jules. Listen up man. Me and my homeboy are in serious fucking shit. We're in a car and we gotta get off the road, pronto. I need to use your garage for a couple of hours.
- Jules: Now Yolanda, we're not gonna do anything stupid, are we?
- Yolanda: You don't hurt him.
- Jules: Nobody's gonna hurt anybody. We're gonna be like three little Fonzies here. And what's Fonzie like? Come on Yolanda what's Fonzie like?
- Yolanda: Cool?
- Jules: What?
- Yolanda: He's cool.
- Jules: Correctamundo. And that's what we're gonna be. We're gonna be cool. Now Ringo, I'm gonna count to three, and when I count three, you let go of your gun, and sit your ass down. But when you do it, you do it cool. Ready? One... two... three.
- [Ringo sits down opposite Jules]
- Yolanda: All right, now you let him go.
- Jules: Yolanda, I thought you said you were gonna be cool. Now when you yell at me, it makes me nervous. And when I get nervous, I get scared. And when motherfuckers get scared, that's when motherfuckers accidentally get shot.
- Yolanda: You just know, you touch him, you die.
- Jules: Well, that seems to be the situation. But I don't want that. And you don't want that. And Ringo here *definitely* doesn't want that.
- Jules: Hey kids! How you boys doin'?
- [to man laying on the couch]
- Jules: Hey, keep chillin'. You know who we are? We're associates of your business partner Marsellus Wallace. You do remember your business partner don't you? Let me take a wild guess here. You're Brett, right?
- Brett: Yeah.
- Jules: I thought so. You remember your business partner Marsellus Wallace, don't you, Brett?
- Brett: Yeah, yeah, I remember him.
- Jules: Good. Looks like me an Vincent caught you boys at breakfast. Sorry about that. Whatcha havin'?
- Brett: Hamburgers.
- Jules: Hamburgers! The cornerstone of any nutritious breakfast. What kind of hamburgers?
- Brett: Ch-cheeseburgers.
- Jules: No, no no, where'd you get 'em? McDonalds? Wendy's? Jack in the Box? Where?
- Brett: Big Kahuna Burger.
- Jules: Big Kahuna Burger. That's that Hawaiian burger joint. I hear they got some tasty burgers. I ain't never had one myself. How are they?
- Brett: They're good.
- Jules: Mind if I try one of yours? This is yours here, right?
- [Picks up burger and takes a bite]
- Jules: Mmm-mmmm. That is a tasty burger. Vincent, ever have a Big Kahuna Burger?
- [Vincent shakes his head]
- Jules: Wanna bite? They're real tasty.
- Vincent: Ain't hungry.
- Jules: Well, if you like burgers give 'em a try sometime. I can't usually get 'em myself because my girlfriend's a vegitarian which pretty much makes me a vegitarian. But I do love the taste of a good burger. Mm-mm-mm. You know what they call a Quarter Pounder with cheese in France?
- Brett: No.
- Jules: Tell 'em, Vincent.
- Vincent: A Royale with cheese.
- Jules: A Royale with cheese! You know why they call it that?
- Brett: Because of the metric system?
- Jules: Check out the big brain on Brett! You're a smart motherfucker. That's right. The metric system. What's in this?
- Brett: Sprite.
- Jules: Sprite, good. You mind if I have some of your tasty beverage to wash this down?
- Brett: Go right ahead.
- Jules: Ah, hit the spot.
- Jules: This was Divine Intervention! You know what "divine intervention" is?
- Vincent: Yeah, I think so. That means God came down from Heaven and stopped the bullets.
- Jules: Yeah, man, that's what it means. That's exactly what it means! God came down from Heaven and stopped the bullets.
- Vincent: I think we should be going now.
- Jules: Don't do that! Don't you fucking do that! Don't blow this shit off! What just happened was a fucking miracle!
- Vincent: Chill the fuck out, Jules, this shit happens.
- Jules: Wrong! Wrong, this shit doesn't just happen.
- Vincent: Do you wanna continue this theological discussion in the car, or at the jailhouse with the cops?
- Jules: We should be fuckin' dead now, my friend! We just witnessed a miracle, and I want you to fucking acknowledge it!
- Vincent: Okay man, it was a miracle, can we leave now?