Heavyweights (1995)

Shaun Weiss: Josh Burnbalm

Photos 

Quotes 

• Roy : Josh, How ya doing man? I just saw the new nurse and she is... very attractive.

  Josh : This pleases me.

• Josh : The candy belongs to... Seymour Butts.

  Tony Perkis : Seymour Butts? Seymour Butts? Who's Seymour Butts, hmm? Who's Seymour Butts?

  Josh : Nobody's seen more butts than you, Uncle Tony!

• Gerry : Don't tell anyone, but I uh... snuck in some Oreos. Just in case.

  Josh : That was very sneaky of you, Gerry. Chipmunks! Download! Now!

  [Gerry looks around as the campers pile candy in hiding places] 

• Lars : Hello! I'm your new friend and counselor. Please enjoy your new Perkis System uniforms. Your families will be billed automatically. Now, let's play a fun game that helps us learn each others' names.

  Josh : [mocking Lars' accent]  Ve already know each odders names.

  Lars : Silence!

• Roy : Josh. Somebody gonna die today.

  Josh : Call 911.

• Roy : Funny Josh. But really man, what happened? Talk to us.

  Josh : [half-unaware]  Josh was bad.

  Roy : Oh man. Oh jeez.

  Josh : [half-unaware]  Josh now good.

  Gerry : Good? Wha... what do you mean?

  Josh : Must be...

  [finally showing his normal awareness] 

  Josh : good to see my big ass again!

• Tony Perkis : You picked the wrong man to mess with.

  Josh : [sarcastically]  Oh, I didn't know I was messing with a man!

• Tony Perkis : Kiss the ground, joker-boy!

  Josh : Hey, would you get your foot off my back?

  Tony Perkis : Shut up!

• Josh : [on the "Camp Hope", aka "Camp Hell" movie which everyone at the camp and all the kid's parents are there watching] 

  Josh : Forty push-ups?

  Tony Perkis : No! Sixty! Down! Now! Eighty! One hundred!

  Maury Garner : He's strict.

• Tim : [sees the kids have locked Tony up]  Oh good God!

  Pat Finley : This is insane!

  Julie : This is great!

  Gerry : So, what was your guys' plan?

  Pat Finley : What do you guys think you're doing?

  Gerry : Taking over the camp.

  Tim : Guys, you can't kidnap the owner of a camp! They give people the *chair* for things like this.

  Gerry : It was self-defense, you have to believe us.

  Julie : I believe you.

  Roy : Pat, you know what? He snapped!

  Josh : He was going to make us climb a thousand-foot mountain!

  [all the campers start talking at once about Tony's insane antics]