Four Weddings and a Funeral (1994)

James Fleet: Tom - Wedding One

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Quotes 

• Tom : Oh, I don't know, Charlie. Unlike you, I never expected "the thunderbolt." I always just hoped that, that I'd meet some nice friendly girl, like the look of her, hope the look of me didn't make her physically sick, then pop the question and, um, settle down and be happy. It worked for my parents. Well, apart from the divorce and all that.

• Tom : Splendid, I thought. What did you think?

  Bernard : I, thought, splendid! What did you think?

  Tom : Splendid, I thought.

• Charles : Yes, it's odd, isn't it? All these years we've been single and proud of it and never noticed that two of us were, in effect, married all this time.

  Tom : Traitors in our midst.

• Charles : Tommy, are you the richest man in England?

  Tom : Oh, no! No! I believe we're about - seventh. The Queen, obviously, and that Branson bloke's doing terribly well.

• Tom : Well, let's face the facts. If you weren't certain you wanted to marry her today, of all days - i.e., your wedding day - then it must have been the right decision, mustn't it?

  [Fiona looks at him as though she's about to say, "Bugger off, Tom," for the umpteenth time, then reaches out and touches his shoulder affectionately] 

  Fiona : Quite right, Tom.

• Tom : I think I fooled them so far. The great advantage of having a reputation for being stupid: People are less suspicious of you.

• Tom : [acting as usher at Charles's wedding]  Bride or groom?

  Old man : [archly]  Young man, it should be obvious to you that I am neither.

• Tom : When Bernard told me he was getting engaged to Lydia I congratulated him, because all his other girlfriends. had been such complete dogs. May I say we are delighted to have so many of them here this evening. I'm particularly delighted to see Camilla who many of you will probably remember as the first person Bernard asked to marry him. If I remember rightly, she told him to sod off. And lucky for Lydia that she did.

• [after running into his second cousin once removed, Deirdre] 

  Tom : Golly! Thunderbolt city.

• Tom : Excellent wedding hairstyle.

• Tom : Don't want to blow my chances romance by smelling of dung all the way through the reception.

• Gareth : A toast! Before we go into battle. True love. In whatever shape or form it may come. May we all in our dotage be proud to say, 'l was adored once, too.' True love.

  Charles , Fiona , Tom , Scarlett , Matthew : True love!

• Tom : Did anyone else tread in a cowpat? No, thought not.