Death Becomes Her (1992)
Meryl Streep: Madeline Ashton
Photos
Quotes
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Madeline Ashton : Bottoms up!
[Madeline drinks the potion]
Lisle Von Rhoman : Now, a warning.
Madeline Ashton : NOW a warning?
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Madeline Ashton : Wrinkled, wrinkled little star... hope they never see the scars.
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Madeleine : Could you just not breathe?
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[Helen has a gaping hole in her abdomen]
Madeline Ashton : You're a fraud, Helen! You're a walking lie and I can see right... THROUGH YOU!
[watch through the hole while laughing]
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Madeline Ashton : Ernest... my ass! I can see MY ASS!
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Madeline Ashton : Oh, for Christ's sake, at least lie quickly!
Dakota : I'm trying to!
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Emergency Room Doctor : I tell you what, kids, it's, uh, odd thing here. Your wrist, uh, far as I can tell, is, uh, fractured in three places. Uh, and you've shattered, uh, two vertebrae, though I can't be certain without an X-ray... The bone protrusion through the skin - that's not a good sign. You're body temperature is below 80, and your, your, your heart's stopped beating.
Ernest Menville : What the hell does that mean?
Emergency Room Doctor : Exactly! What... what... I'm going to get a second opinion.
[the doctor leaves in a hurry]
Madeline Ashton : Well, it could be worse.
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Ernest Menville : [at Helen's book party] Have you seen her yet?
Madeline : What a joke. She's not even here.
Ernest Menville : Wait. Look over there.
Madeline : [a heavy-set woman stands surrounded by people] Oh! Looks as though she's lost a few pou-
[the heavy set lady moves out of the way to reveal the incredibly thin Helen Sharp]
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Ernest Menville : She's dead!
Madeline Ashton : She is? Oh. These are the moments that make life worth living.
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[upon discovering her neck has twisted a complete 180 degrees]
Madeline Ashton : Ernest... my ass! I can *see*... my ASS!
Ernest Menville : And there's something really wrong with your neck too.
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Madeleine : Look at you. You have a... waist.
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Anna : How about a nice colagen buff?
Madeline Ashton : "A colagen buff"? You might as well ask me to wash with soap and water!
Anna : I could do your make-up myself...
Madeline Ashton : Make-up is POINTLESS! It does nothing anymore! Are you even listening to me? Do you even care? You stand there with your 22-year- old skin and your tits like ROCKS and laugh at me...
[sobs]
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Madeleine : You're dressed. Special occasion?
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Madeline : [From trailer] Dead? Ernest is dead? Everybody's dead!
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Madeleine : I... fell down the stairs
Emergency Room Doctor : Whoopsie!
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[last lines]
Madeline Ashton : Has that ever worked by the way? When you ask me where I last saw something?
Helen Sharp : Yes.
Madeline Ashton : When?
Helen Sharp : When you lost your index finger.
Madeline Ashton : I didn't lose it, it broke off.
Helen Sharp : That's because you cracked your knuckles all the tIIII...
[slipping on the can of spray paint they dropped]
Helen Sharp : Oh! Help me! My legs aren't working! Help me!
[Helen pulls a smug Madeline down with her and they break into pieces as they hit the bottom of the stairs]
Madeline Ashton : [as a head to Madeline's] Do you remember where you parked the car?
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[Rose is serving breakfast in bed to Madeline Ashton]
Rose : Good morning, madam. You look absolutely marvelous.
Madeline Ashton : Hey, wait a minute. Aren't you forgetting something?
Rose : Well, it's only Thursday - you told me just to say it...
Madeline Ashton : Well, never mind that. I think I need you to say it every morning.
Rose : Very well. "Oh, madam! You look younger every day!"
Madeline Ashton : Thank you, Rose. Thank you very much.
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Lisle Von Rhoman : You're scared as Hell... of yourself. Of the body you once knew.
Madeline Ashton : I beg your pardon?
Lisle Von Rhoman : I am the one who understands. I am the one who knows your secret.
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Lisle Von Rhoman : How old would you guess I am? C'mon, don't try to flatter me.
Madeline Ashton : Thirty-eight?
[Lisle Von Rhoman glares at her]
Madeline Ashton : TWENTY-eight... no, twenty-three...
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Madeline Ashton : [reading the title of Helen's new book] "Forever Young?"...
Rose : I like that title.
Madeline Ashton : [Cackling] Ah, forever young... and eternally fat...
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Madeleine : Do you know that they do to soft, bald, overweight Republicans in prison, Ernest?
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Madeline Ashton : Ernest! You pushed me down the stairs.
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[after seeing her transformation]
Madeline Ashton : I'm a girl!
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Madeline Ashton : [after she discovers Dakota has a girl over] Who is the little piece of meat?
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Madeline Ashton : Who cares how I played? I won!
Ernest Menville : I'll just be upstairs...
Helen : That's 'cause you could raise your legs higher than anyone.
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Madeline Ashton : You know what this is? This is simply a question of, uh, maintenance! Yeah, this is upkeep. We just have to be very careful with ourselves. We have to take care of each other. I'll paint your ass; you paint mine.
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Lisle Von Rhuman : So warm, so full of life. This is life's ultimate cruelty. It offers us the taste of youth and vitality. And then, it makes us witness our own decay.
Madeleine : Well, it is the natural law.
Lisle Von Rhuman : Oh, screw the natural law!
[She opens a box to reveal a vile containing a potion]
Madeleine : What is that?
Lisle Von Rhuman : What you came for, a touch of magic in this world obsessed with science. A tonic, a potion.
Madeleine : What does it do?
Lisle Von Rhuman : How old would you guess I am?
Madeleine : I wouldn't.
[Continues looking at the potion vial]
Lisle Von Rhuman : Come on, don't try to flatter me.
Madeleine : 38.
[Lisle looks insulted]
Madeleine : Oh, 28. 3... 23.
Lisle Von Rhuman : I am 71 years old! That's what it does. It stops the aging process dead in its tracks and forces it into retreat. Drink that potion and you'll never grow even one day older. Don't drink it, then continue to watch yourself rot.
Madeleine : How much is it?
Lisle Von Rhuman : The sordid topic of coin, I'm afraid, is not so simple. The cost, you see, it's different for everyone.
Madeleine : Well, for me, how much?
[She does the arithmetic on a notepad, while Madeline tries to peak; she holds up the paper, showing the price]
Madeleine : Well, thank you very much. I think I should be going.
Lisle Von Rhuman : SIT!
[Madeleine sits]
Lisle Von Rhuman : Hold out your hand.
[She stabs Madeline's left index finger with a dagger]
Madeleine : OWWWW! WHAT ARE YOU, NUTS?
Lisle Von Rhuman : Watch.
[She dips the tip of the dagger into the potion, then drips the small drop into Madeline's wound, which takes the age of Madeline's left hand]
Madeleine : Check okay?
Lisle Von Rhuman : Fine.
[as Madeleine takes out her checkbook and begins writing out a check]
Lisle Von Rhuman : But you must make me a promise. The secret that we share must never become public. You may continue your career for 10 years, 10 years of perfect unchanged beauty. But at the end of that time, before people become suspicious, you have to disappear from public view forever. You can retire. You can stage your own phony death or... as one of my clients simply said, "I want to be alone".
Lisle Von Rhuman : No! She's not!
[Lisle nods reaffirmingly]
Lisle Von Rhuman : Wow!
[Madeleine hands Lisle the check, as Lisle hands Madeleine the potion vial]
Madeleine : Bottoms up.
[She drinks the potion]
Lisle Von Rhuman : Now a warning.
Madeleine : *Now* a warning?
Lisle Von Rhuman : Take care of yourself. You and your body are going to be together a long time, be good to it. Simpre vive: Live forever.
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[Madeline Ashton is requesting another plasma separation]
Madeline Ashton : Are you listening to me? Do you even care? You just stand there with your 22-year-old skin and your tits like rocks and laugh, and...
[sobs]
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Madeleine : Tell me, doctor. Do you think I'm starting to need you?
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Lisle Von Rhuman : [Lisle is about to give Madeline a potion that grants eternal youth and beauty] But you must make me a promise. The secret that we share must never become public. You may continue your career for ten years. Ten years of perfect, unchanged beauty. But at the end of that time, before people start to become suspicious, you have to disappear from public view forever. You can retire, you can stage your own phony death, or... as one of my clients simply said, I want to be alone.
Madeline Ashton : No. She...
Lisle Von Rhuman : [Lisle nods]
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Helen : Now, listen to me, Ernest. I thought this thing through carefully and I know it's the only way. Tonight, while she's asleep, you'll sneak downstairs, quietly, go to the study, and take one of each kind of wine glass from the shelf. Then, you'll take this narcanal and lightly coat each glass. As you know, narcanal is a very powerful alcohol-based tranquilizer, so you won't need much. Tomorrow, I'll call Madeline to say goodbye. I'll try to get her to invite me to dinner.
Madeline : *In fantasy sequence* Fine, why don't you just come to dinner?
Helen : Then, at dinner, we propose a toast. No matter which glass she drinks from, the narcanal will be on the glass. Then, you and I work together quickly. First, we finish dinner. Then, we load her in the car, take her to the top of Mulholland Drive, call the police and report that we've seen a drunk woman swerving dangerously close to the edge.
Ernest : *In fantasy sequence* There's some drunk woman up here on Mulholland, swerving dangerously close to the edge.
Helen : We'll sit her up in the driver's seat and make it look like she's had just a little bit too much too drink. We drop the car into gear, wedge her foot down on the accelerator, clamp her hands on the steering wheel and send her on her way. By the time they perform the autopsy, the narcanal will be completely dissolved, leaving only traces of alcohol. She'll be classified as just...
Fantasy Doctor #1 : *In Helen's voice during fantasy sequence*... another drunk driver.
Helen : They'll check her blood-alcohol.
Fantasy Doctor #2 : .4-0. She had it coming.
Helen : And think nothing more of it. The case is closed, Madeline is dead and we're free.
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Rose : [Rose walks all the upstairs and into Madeline's bedroom, carrying a tray of Madeline's breakfast and a Book Party invitation, as Madeline is still asleep] Good Morning, madam. You look absolutely marvelous.
[Opening the curtains, waking Madeline]
Madeline Ashton : Wait. Aren't you forgetting something?
Rose : But it's only Thursday. You told me I'm supposed-...
Madeline Ashton : Never mind. I think I need to you say it every morning from now on.
Rose : Very well. Oh, madam, you look younger everyday.
Madeline Ashton : Thank you, Rose. Thank you so much, how sweet of you say.
[Grabbing the envelope]
Madeline Ashton : What is this?
Rose : Those are your invitations to Miss Helen Sharp's book party tonight. They just came.
Madeline Ashton : [Whispering, while opening the envelope] Helen Sharp.
[She opens the envelope and reads the title of Helen's book]
Madeline Ashton : "Forever Young"?
Rose : I like that title.
Madeline Ashton : [laughs histerically] "Forever Young and Eternally Fat". Oh, clever little witch, she sent seating assignments.
[Puts the invitations down]
Madeline Ashton : You know kind of find it hard to believe that he actually got up early and made his side of the bed.
Rose : Oh, no, madam.
Madeline Ashton : So, where'd he sleep?
Rose : [She points her index finger upwards]
Madeline Ashton : Again?
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Madeline Ashton : I just want you to know one thing Hel.
[Cocks Shotgun]
Madeline Ashton : You brought this on yourself!
Ernest Menville : Madeline!
[Madeline shoots Helen who flies into the pool as Ernest screams]
Ernest Menville : Oh my god!
[runs to check on Helen]
Ernest Menville : What have you done!
Madeline Ashton : [Cocks Shotgun] What have I done? Defended myself that's what! You plotter. Co-Conspirator!
Ernest Menville : [shouting] She's dead!
Madeline Ashton : She is?
[gasps and smiles]
Madeline Ashton : These are the moments that make life worth living.
Ernest Menville : My God Madeline, that was horrible! It was brutal, it was stupid! The police Madeline! The police!
Madeline Ashton : Oh what are they gonna do? Put me in the gas chamber? Big deal.
Ernest Menville : What about life in prison? Do you know what that means to a person in your condition?
Madeline Ashton : Oh, you're so negative. Can't you for once just let me enjoy the moment?
Ernest Menville : What about the neighbors? You don't think they heard that gunshot?
Madeline Ashton : Neighbors? In twelve years in Los Angeles. Have you ever seen a neighbor?
Ernest Menville : Oh! I gotta think! I gotta think! One of us has to stay rational.
Madeline Ashton : I am completely rational, Ernest. We're going to bury her. In Death Valley. You and I
Ernest Menville : I most certainly will not!
Madeline Ashton : Oh No?
[places gun under her arm and walks towards Ernest]
Madeline Ashton : pretty strong words for a murderer on the run. Which is let's face it, exactly what you are Ernest.
[Madeline kicks a Shovel]
Madeline Ashton : What if the police should receive an anonymous phone call about you and find me on the floor not breathing, no pulse? Ain't nobody can play dead like me, Ernest. What will you tell them? You're going to be very popular in prison.
Ernest Menville : Prison?
Madeline Ashton : Prison. Do you know what they do to soft, bald, overweight Republicans in prison, Ernest?
Ernest Menville : I'll get the shovels, dear.
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Madeline Ashton : [as she and Helen fight each other with shovels] You should learn not to compete with me, I always win!
Helen : You may have always won, but you never played fair!
Madeline Ashton : Who cares how I played, I *won*!
Ernest Menville : I'll just be upstairs.
Helen : Yeah, that's 'cause you can raise your legs *higher* and *wider* than anyone!
Madeline Ashton : AND BETTER!
Helen : But look at you now! You couldn't raise an eyebrow without major surgery!
Madeline Ashton : I've raised a lot more than an eyebrow in my day, you skinny, phony, hollow bitch!
Helen : Yeah? Well, you lost your one and only talent!
Madeline Ashton : Which was one more talent than you had, you former fatso!
