Herman's Head (1991–1994)

William Ragsdale: Herman Brooks

Quotes 

• Herman Brooks : Jay, there are certain occasions when its better not to think about having sex with someone.

  Jay Nichols : Sure there are. Family reunions.

• Jay Nichols : Oh, boy. Whenever I meet a girl's father, it's always the same story. First, he offers me money not to see her.

  Herman Brooks : Yeah? Then what happens?

  Jay Nichols : I take the money.

• Herman Brooks : Rebecca Woods. She was the most beautiful freshman on campus.

  Jay Nichols : Did ya bag her?

  Herman Brooks : Jay, I don't "bag" women.

  Jay Nichols : I'm sorry. Did ya nail her?

• [Herman's apartment has been robbed] 

  Herman : Look at what they did to my apartment! Someone is going to pay for this.

  Jay : I think it's going to be you, Herm.

• Heddy : Herman, aren't you afraid to be here alone?

  Herman : No, not any more. Now that I have "Little Herman" here.

  [Pulls out a gun] 

  Louise : Is that a real gun?

  Herman : Yeah!

  Louise : I can't believe you own a gun!

  Heddy : I can't believe you call it "Little Herman."

• Model : Herman, are you gay?

  Herman : Are you kidding? Look at how this apartment is decorated.

• [speaking of his impotence] 

  Herman : I'm having a little trouble..."hoisting my mainsail."

  Jay : You have a boat?