Thu, Jan 23, 1992
Gordon managed to annoy the Rotarians at a dinner to the extent that they set his feet in concrete. He enlists private consultant Graham Hanson's help to investigate if the constant aggravation in the Leisure Centre--no doubt his work--is the result of a syndrome attributed to the building, but he falls victim to Gordon's inverse Midas touch. Carole is horrified to discover a mouse--and worse, that her baby Ben prefers its company to hers. Laura manages to teach Gordon how to read between the lines of female 'considerate' responses; he sorts out the anniversary-gift fiasco, but he also assumes that Laura's advice also applies to men.
Mon, Jan 10, 1994
Veteran running star Sebastian Coe, MP, comes to the Leisure Centre for a Grand Opening, but not only does he discover that they've only named a toilet after him, but everybody keeps running off, chasing an 8-year-old boy for not paying for a 20p ticket; Coe even gets caught with his foot in a dead man's bicycle lock when he must urgently get to Parliament. Meanwhile Carole's toddler son Ben escapes by sawing his way out of the cupboard she keeps him in while trying desperately to apply Brittas' endless tariff rules, so she and Helen bait a trap-cage for him. The arrested boy's father mobilizes his Ancient Warfare Society friends to actually lay siege on the Centre with him as the lead centurion, and the police refuse to return for at least a week. Gordon refuses to surrender the boy, so the Ancient troops take and damage the centre by force.
Sun, Mar 6, 1994
Since the last disaster actually got Gordon fired, he took a new job: petrol-station attendant. Laura isn't surprised to witness the endless lines of unhappy clients that his obsession for rules has created. An hour later, Helen tells Laura that Gordon has already been sacked. Meanwhile, at the Centre, only Colin misses Brittas' endless staff meetings and other nonsense. The new manager, Alan Digby, visits daily with unwanted, detailed 'suggestions,' but this time Gordon delivers a weather clock, personally installs it, tinkers with the timetable, and manages to exasperates a gas delivery truck driver enough to be declared persona non grata and cause a seriously dangerous incident in the center during Alan's short absence.
Mon, Jan 31, 1994
Gordon is most eager to depart to press his candidacy for a European Committee on the Leisure Industry at a dinner, but Helen, who tells Laura he always makes waiters so furious they throw food at them, has psychosomatically-blocked muscles and various staff members are programmed to make wacky responses to certain signals by a hypnotist. Gordon asks him to cure Helen, but when he also goes into a trance, Laura convinces the therapist to temporarily remove his need to change the world.
Mon, Dec 5, 1994
Just when Gavin was to get his last test before his hoped-for promotion to Assistant Manager, the Centre's medical tests introduced to fight drugs cause hysteria: as there is a positive pregnancy test, suggesting that Linda is pregnant by 65-year-old headmaster Edward, Julie is pregnant by a Baronet, Carole is pregnant by Colin!--and there's an even more surprising pregnancy, and Brittas puts the suspect through a humiliating test. While Carole and Colin willingly consider marriage, Helen reveals to Laura that she swapped samples--it's possible that she's the one expecting.
Thu, Jan 21, 1993
Helen panics to hear Laura is away postulating for a managers post in London. Meanwhile maths teacher Jackson's patience is tested when he tries to get a cup of coffee from the vending machine, given the paperwork and camera check for a 5 p. refund. Colin has a concussion, so his way of following simplified instructions is even more dangerous for a whole pool of Pentecostals holding a baptism ceremony. Carole's illicit baby-care drives Brittas to provoke the whole staff.