Elves (1989)

Dan Haggerty: Mike McGavin

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Quotes 

• Mike McGavin : I need to know the connection between the elves and the nazis!

• Mike McGavin : What are you, a goddamn Nazi or something? Is that elf yours?

• Mike McGavin : Do you think there can be an elf cult or a sect crazy enough to kill people?

  Librarian : Oh, no! But about 50 years ago there was a group that believed in Elves that did one hell of a lot of killing: the Nazis!

  Mike McGavin : Nazis? They believed in Elves?

  Librarian : Oh, yes! They believed in a lot of things! You know, if you could ignore their brutality, you'd have to say they were just a bunch of crackpots!

• Mike McGavin : Well, I think I've seen an elf. Do you think I'm a crackpot?

  Librarian : Are you asking if I believe in Elves? No, I don't... but God did!

• Kirsten's Grandfather : What I was, what I am now... has no importance. I have paid the price for what I have done.

  Mike McGavin : What the hell have you done?

  Kirsten's Grandfather : I have impregnated my own daughter to produce an offspring that will be suitable to produce... Elves.

• Mike McGavin : Life's a bitch, Eddie! First you're Santa and then you die!

• Mike McGavin : Seems a goddamn circus.