Parenthood (1989)

Keanu Reeves: Tod Higgins

Photos 

Quotes 

• Helen : I guess a boy Garry's age really needs a man around.

  Tod : Well, it depends on the man. I had a man around. He used to wake me up every morning by flicking lit cigarettes at my head "Hey, asshole, get up and make me breakfast." You know, Mrs. Buckman, you need a license to buy a dog, or drive a car. Hell, you need a license to catch a fish! But they'll let any butt-reaming asshole be a father.

• Tod : Can I speak frankly, no holds barred?

  [Helen nods] 

  Tod : That is one messed up little dude. We can talk straight?

  [Helen nods again] 

  Tod : Um, a few months ago, Garry got his first... boner. You know what that is?

  Helen : If memory serves.

  Tod : Aw, great! Anyway, since then, he's been... uh... slappin' the salami. No offense.

  Helen : No.

  Tod : Apparently, he's goin' for a world record. Anyway, he was afraid there was something wrong with him, you know? Like he was a pervert or something. I told him that's what little dudes do - we've all done it. It made him happy.

  Helen : Garry was happy?

  Tod : He even smiled! I never even knew he had teeth!

• [Tod is struggling with Julie] 

  Tod : Julie, you belong with me!

  Helen : [hitting him]  Let go of her!

  Tod : You're my wife!

  Helen : I said-!

  [stops] 

  Helen : His what?

  Julie : His wife. We got married a few days ago.

  Helen : [hitting her]  Are you out of your *mind*? Are you out of your *mind*?

• Tod : [upon finding Julie at her own house with her mother]  Julie!

  Julie : Tod?

  Tod : I thought I'd find you here.

  Julie : What does that make you, Sherlock Holmes? I live here!

  Tod : You live with me.

  Julie : I wouldn't live with you if the world were flooded with piss and you lived in a tree.

• Helen : Tod?

  Tod : Yeah?

  Helen : Do you want me to make you breakfast?

  Tod : No thanks, Julie will.

  Helen : Great.

  [then adds under her breath] 

  Helen : I'll get the fire extinguisher.

• Tod : [interrupts foreplay to take out a picture camera]  Now we can record our love.

• Tod : Hi. Where's my wife?

  Helen : She's still at school. She's got cheerleading practice.

  Tod : Bitchin'.