E.G. Marshall credited as playing...
- Art: The little lights... they aren't twinkling.
- Clark: I know, Art. Thanks for noticing.
- [after Clark fails at lighting all the exterior Christmas lights at the "lighting ceremony" in front of the entire family]
- Frances: Talk about pissing your money away. I hope you kids see what a silly waste of resources this was.
- Audrey: He worked really hard, Grandma.
- Art: So do washing machines.
- Audrey: I hope nobody I know drives by and sees me standing in the yard staring at the house in my pajamas.
- Art: If they know your dad, they won't think anything of it.
- Art: [to Rocky] You got a kiss for me?
- Eddie: Better take a rain check on that, Art - he's got a lip fungus they ain't identified yet...
- Art: You want to hurry this up, Clark? I'm freezing my baguettes off.
- Art: [a messenger delivers Clark's envelope with his "bonus", the family looks questioningly] What is it? A letter confirming your reservation at the nuthouse?
- Art: [after Clark has flipped out] You're goofy.
- Clark: [Still flipped out] Don't piss me off, Art.
- Art: It was an ugly tree anyway.
- [the Griswolds are unaware that Clark is trapped in the attic]
- Ellen: Daddy, is Clark coming?
- Art: How would I know?
- Ellen: Is he in the house?
- Art: If he isn't farting around with his lights, he must be inside.
- Ellen: I'm sure he wants to come shopping and have lunch with us.
- [walks back to the house, but Art pulls her back to the car]
- Art: He's got another car; he can drive. I have to eat - so I can take my back pill!
