- [Nick is driving and bumps into another car]
- Other driver: Are you blind?
- Nick Parker: Yeah. What's your excuse?
- Billy Devereaux: I get the window seat! You don't need it, you're blind!
- Nick Parker: Got me there, you little prick!
- [an old lady shoots at Lyle and Tector after they steal her car]
- Lyle Pike: Jesus H. Christ!
- Tector Pike: Yep. That's one reason I always voted for gun control!
- Nick Parker: Where is Frank Devereaux?
- Ed Cobb: F.O., Errol Flynn. You know what that means? Fuck off!
- Ed Cobb: [Nick swings his sword and shaves off Cobb's bushy eyebrows. Cobb looks shocked] .
- Nick Parker: I also do circumcision.
- [Mexican villains take a purse from a lady and throw it around. It ends up at Nicks feet and he picks it up]
- Gang Leader: Give me the purse, ciego!
- Nick Parker: Are you sure it goes with your dress?
- MacCready: Mr. Parker, there's someone I'd like you to meet.
- Nick Parker: Oh, nice guy, I hope. Everybody's trying to kill me lately.
- [the Assassin enters]
- Lyle Pike: God damn! There's more holes in that thing than in my daddy's rubber!
- Tector Pike: I didn't know Dad wore a rubber!
- MacCready: [Nick and Frank finally confront MacCready] Well, well, well! Mr. Blind Man, you're positively an incredible human being. You're a walking advertisement for hiring the handicapped!
- Billy Devereaux: Hey, it's still raining.
- Nick Parker: Yeah. Well, a little water never hurt anyone.
- Billy Devereaux: Oh yeah? Well If I catch pneumonia, it'll be all your fault.
- Nick Parker: I'll try and live with the guilt.
- [Begins to cross road, then slips and falls]
- Billy Devereaux: [laughs at Nick's misfortune] "A little water never hurt anyone"
- Nick Parker: Shit. Don't you laugh.
- Billy Devereaux: Well I can see where I'm going.
- [proceeds to run across the road then slips and falls]
- Billy Devereaux: Oh. Ow!
- [Nick laughs at him]
- Billy Devereaux: It's not funny I hurt my knee. It hurts I can't move.
- Nick Parker: [Finds his way over to Billy] That's all right. Wait until the paramedics come.
- Nick Parker, Billy Devereaux: Nick and Billy right after they've overpowered two bad guys and jumped into their van:
- Nick Parker, Billy Devereaux: **Together** "Who's gonna drive?"
- Frank Devereaux: I'm not gonna make that shit for you! I'm not gonna, goddamn it!
- MacCready: Designer drugs, boy! Wave of the future! And as legal as whores and lawyers in this state!