- Bruce: With my right foot, I can kick your face. With my left foot, I can kick your nose. With my fingers, I can poke your eyes out. Take a good look at my face. I'm an Oriental!
- Psychiatrist: I want you to make five appointments with my nurse.
- Bruce: Five times with your nurse? She's beautiful.
- Psychiatrist: No, I want to see you five times. It's imperative that I see you.
- Bruce: You a lonesome guy, Doc? You've been in this office too long.
- Bruce: And now ladies and gentlemen, Master Appleby of Appleby studio! He's going to break big block of ice with his forehead!
- Master Appleby: Not four heads. One head.
- Bruce: [At McCLean's Martial Arts studio before a tournament, an audience applauds as Bruce takes center stage] Welcome to the qualifying finals of the Junior National Martial Arts Championship! We have a number of Masters here today.
- [the crowd claps again, as all the Masters stand and bow to Bruce, then they sit back down]
- Bruce: I was going to do all the exhibitions by myself, but it's only fair to give the others a chance to demonstrate their skills. First, I'd like to introduce Master Tackett! He's going to break a board with a spinning kick!
- Master Tackett: [Master Tackett stands up, walks over to Bruce and angrily speaks] What is this? I didn't plan to do anything!
- Bruce: [to the audience] I think Master Tackett is nervous.
- Master Tackett: I'm NOT nervous!
- [Bruce makes a mischievous face as Master Tackett turns around, goes to a board a student is holding and easily breaks it]