The Princess Bride (1987)
Cary Elwes: Westley
Photos
Quotes
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Westley : Give us the gate key.
Yellin : I have no gate key.
Inigo Montoya : Fezzik, tear his arms off.
Yellin : Oh, you mean *this* gate key.
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Vizzini : I can't compete with you physically, and you're no match for my brains.
Man in Black : You're that smart?
Vizzini : Let me put it this way. Have you ever heard of Plato, Aristotle, Socrates?
Man in Black : Yes.
Vizzini : Morons.
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Inigo Montoya : Is very strange. I have been in the revenge business so long, now that it's over, I don't know what to do with the rest of my life.
Westley : Have you ever considered piracy? You'd make a wonderful Dread Pirate Roberts.
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Buttercup : You mock my pain.
Man in Black : Life is pain, Highness. Anyone who says differently is selling something.
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Fezzik : Why do you wear a mask? Were you burned by acid, or something like that?
Man in Black : Oh no, it's just that they're terribly comfortable. I think everyone will be wearing them in the future.
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Inigo Montoya : Who are you?
Man in Black : No one of consequence.
Inigo Montoya : I must know...
Man in Black : Get used to disappointment.
Inigo Montoya : Que.
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Prince Humperdinck : First things first, to the death.
Westley : No. To the pain.
Prince Humperdinck : I don't think I'm quite familiar with that phrase.
Westley : I'll explain and I'll use small words so that you'll be sure to understand, you warthog faced buffoon.
Prince Humperdinck : That may be the first time in my life a man has dared insult me.
Westley : It won't be the last. To the pain means the first thing you will lose will be your feet below the ankles. Then your hands at the wrists. Next your nose.
Prince Humperdinck : And then my tongue I suppose, I killed you too quickly the last time. A mistake I don't mean to duplicate tonight.
Westley : I wasn't finished. The next thing you will lose will be your left eye followed by your right.
Prince Humperdinck : And then my ears, I understand let's get on with it.
Westley : WRONG. Your ears you keep and I'll tell you why. So that every shriek of every child at seeing your hideousness will be yours to cherish. Every babe that weeps at your approach, every woman who cries out, "Dear God! What is that thing," will echo in your perfect ears. That is what "to the pain means." It means I leave you in anguish, wallowing in freakish misery forever.
Prince Humperdinck : I think you're bluffing.
Westley : It's possible, Pig, I might be bluffing. It's conceivable, you miserable, vomitous mass, that I'm only lying here because I lack the strength to stand. But, then again... perhaps I have the strength after all.
[slowly rises and points sword directly at the prince]
Westley : DROP... YOUR... SWORD!
Prince Humperdinck : [Humperdinck's mouth hangs open, drops sword to floor]
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Man in Black : All right. Where is the poison? The battle of wits has begun. It ends when you decide and we both drink, and find out who is right... and who is dead.
Vizzini : But it's so simple. All I have to do is divine from what I know of you: are you the sort of man who would put the poison into his own goblet or his enemy's? Now, a clever man would put the poison into his own goblet, because he would know that only a great fool would reach for what he was given. I am not a great fool, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you. But you must have known I was not a great fool, you would have counted on it, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me.
Man in Black : You've made your decision then?
Vizzini : Not remotely. Because iocane comes from Australia, as everyone knows, and Australia is entirely peopled with criminals, and criminals are used to having people not trust them, as you are not trusted by me, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you.
Man in Black : Truly, you have a dizzying intellect.
Vizzini : Wait till I get going! Now, where was I?
Man in Black : Australia.
Vizzini : Yes, Australia. And you must have suspected I would have known the powder's origin, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me.
Man in Black : You're just stalling now.
Vizzini : You'd like to think that, wouldn't you? You've beaten my giant, which means you're exceptionally strong, so you could've put the poison in your own goblet, trusting on your strength to save you, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you. But, you've also bested my Spaniard, which means you must have studied, and in studying you must have learned that man is mortal, so you would have put the poison as far from yourself as possible, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me.
Man in Black : You're trying to trick me into giving away something. It won't work.
Vizzini : IT HAS WORKED! YOU'VE GIVEN EVERYTHING AWAY! I KNOW WHERE THE POISON IS!
Man in Black : Then make your choice.
Vizzini : I will, and I choose... what in the world can that be?
[Vizzini gestures up and away from the table. The Man in Black looks backwards. Vizzini swaps the goblets]
Man in Black : What? Where? I don't see anything.
Vizzini : Well, I- I could have sworn I saw something. But no matter.
[Vizzini tries to hold back laughter]
Man in Black : What's so funny?
Vizzini : I'll tell you in a minute. First, let's drink. Me from my glass, and you from yours.
[Vizzini and the Man in Black drink]
Man in Black : You guessed wrong.
Vizzini : You only think I guessed wrong! That's what's so funny! I switched glasses when your back was turned! Ha ha! You fool! You fell victim to one of the classic blunders - the most famous of which is "never get involved in a land war in Asia" - but only slightly less well-known is this: "Never go in against a Sicilian when death is on the line"! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha...
[Vizzini stops suddenly, his smile frozen on his face and falls to the ground dead. The Man in Black removes the blindfold from Buttercup's head]
Man in Black : You all right?
Buttercup : And to think, all that time it was your cup that was poisoned.
Man in Black : They were both poisoned. I spent the last few years building up an immunity to iocane powder.
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Inigo Montoya : But, I promise I will not kill you until you reach the top.
Man in Black : That's VERY comforting, but I'm afraid you'll just have to wait.
Inigo Montoya : I hate waiting. I could give you my word as a Spaniard.
Man in Black : No good. I've known too many Spaniards.
Inigo Montoya : Isn't there any way you trust me?
Man in Black : Nothing comes to mind.
Inigo Montoya : I swear on the soul of my father, Domingo Montoya, you will reach the top alive.
Man in Black : Throw me the rope.
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Inigo Montoya : I donna suppose you could speed things up?
Man in Black : If you're in such a hurry, you could lower a rope or a tree branch or find something useful to do.
Inigo Montoya : I could do that. I have some rope up here, but I do not think you would accept my help, since I am only waiting around to kill you.
Man in Black : That does put a damper on our relationship.
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Prince Humperdinck : Surrender.
Westley : You mean you wish to surrender to me? Very well, I accept.
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Man in Black : You've done nothing but study swordplay?
Inigo Montoya : More pursue than study lately. You see, I cannot find him... it's been twenty years now and I'm starting to lose confidence. I just work for Vizzini to pay the bills. There's not a lot of money in revenge.
Man in Black : Well I certainly hope you find him someday.
Inigo Montoya : You are ready then?
Man in Black : Whether I am or not, you've been more than fair.
Inigo Montoya : You seem a decent fellow... I hate to kill you.
Man in Black : You seem a decent fellow... I hate to die.
Inigo Montoya : Begin.
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Buttercup : We'll never succeed. We may as well die here.
Westley : No, no. We have already succeeded. I mean, what are the three terrors of the Fire Swamp? One, the flame spurt - no problem. There's a popping sound preceding each; we can avoid that. Two, the lightning sand, which you were clever enough to discover what that looks like, so in the future we can avoid that too.
Buttercup : Westley, what about the R.O.U.S.'s?
Westley : Rodents Of Unusual Size? I don't think they exist.
[Immediately, an R.O.U.S. attacks him]
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Inigo Montoya : [falls to his knees] Kill me quickly.
Man in Black : I would sooner destroy a stained glass window than an artist like yourself. However, since I can't have you follow me either...
[knocks Inigo unconscious]
Man in Black : Please understand I hold you in the highest respect.
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Inigo Montoya : I do not mean to pry, but you don't by any chance happen to have six fingers on your right hand?
Man in Black : Do you always begin conversations this way?
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Dread Pirate Roberts : Good night, Westley. Good work. Sleep well. I'll most likely kill you in the morning.
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Fezzik : We face each other as God intended. Sportsmanlike. No tricks, no weapons, skill against skill alone.
Man in Black : You mean, you'll put down your rock and I'll put down my sword, and we'll try and kill each other like civilized people?
Fezzik : I could kill you now.
Man in Black : Frankly, I think the odds are slightly in your favor at hand fighting.
Fezzik : It's not my fault being the biggest and the strongest. I don't even exercise.
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Westley : Who are you? Are we enemies? Why am I on this wall? Where is Buttercup?
Inigo Montoya : Let me explain.
[pause]
Inigo Montoya : No, there is too much. Let me sum up. Buttercup is marry Humperdinck in little less than half an hour. So all we have to do is get in, break up the wedding, steal the princess, make our escape... after I kill Count Rugen.
Westley : That doesn't leave much time for dilly-dallying.
Fezzik : You just wiggled your finger. That's wonderful.
Westley : I've always been a quick healer. What are our liabilities?
Inigo Montoya : There is but one working castle gate, and... and it is guarded by 60 men.
Westley : And our assets?
Inigo Montoya : Your brains, Fezzik's strength, my steel.
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Inigo Montoya : You are wonderful.
Man in Black : Thank you; I've worked hard to become so.
Inigo Montoya : I admit it, you are better than I am.
Man in Black : Then why are you smiling?
Inigo Montoya : Because I know something you don't know.
Man in Black : And what is that?
Inigo Montoya : I am not left-handed.
[switches sword to his other hand, and begins to fight far more successfully]
Man in Black : You are amazing.
Inigo Montoya : I ought to be, after 20 years.
Man in Black : Oh, there's something I ought to tell you.
Inigo Montoya : Tell me.
Man in Black : I'm not left-handed either.
[switches his own sword to his other hand, suddenly driving Inigo back]
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Buttercup : You can die too for all I care!
[pushes him down a high hill]
Man in Black : AS... YOU... WISH!
Buttercup : [realizes the Man in Black is Westley] Oh, my sweet Westley! What have I done?
[throws herself down the hill]
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Buttercup : Oh, Westley, will you ever forgive me?
Westley : What hideous sin have you committed lately?
Buttercup : I got married. I didn't want to - it all happened so fast.
Westley : Never happened.
Buttercup : What?
Westley : Never happened.
Buttercup : But it did! I was there; this old man said 'man and wife.'
Westley : Did you say 'I do?'
Buttercup : Um, no... we sort of skipped that part.
Westley : Then you're not married. You didn't say it; you didn't do it.
Westley : [to the Prince who has just entered the room] Wouldn't you agree, Your Highness?
Prince Humperdinck : A technicality that will shortly be remedied.
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Westley : Roberts had grown so rich, he wanted to retire. He took me to his cabin and he told me his secret. 'I am not the Dread Pirate Roberts' he said. 'My name is Ryan; I inherited the ship from the previous Dread Pirate Roberts, just as you will inherit it from me. The man I inherited it from is not the real Dread Pirate Roberts either. His name was Cummerbund. The real Roberts has been retired 15 years and living like a king in Patagonia.'
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Westley : We are men of action, lies do not become us.
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Westley : No one would surrender to the Dread Pirate Westley.
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[after defeating Fezzik, who lays on the ground unconscious]
Man in Black : I do not envy you the headache you will have when you awake. But for now, rest well and dream of large women.
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Inigo Montoya : You are using Bonetti's Defense against me, ah?
Man in Black : I thought it fitting considering the rocky terrain.
Inigo Montoya : Naturally, you must expect me to attack with Capo Ferro?
Man in Black : Naturally, but I find that Thibault cancels out Capo Ferro. Don't you?
Inigo Montoya : Unless the enemy has studied his Agrippa... which I have!
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Grandpa : Nothing gave Buttercup as much pleasure as ordering Westley around.
Buttercup : Farm boy, polish my horse's saddle. I want to see my face shining in it by morning.
Westley : As you wish.
Grandpa : "As you wish" was all he ever said to her.
Buttercup : Farm boy, fill these with water - please.
Westley : As you wish.
Grandpa : That day, she was amazed to discover that when he was saying "As you wish", what he meant was, "I love you." And even more amazing was the day she realized she truly loved him back.
Buttercup : Farm boy... fetch me that pitcher.
Westley : As you wish.
The Grandson : Hold it, hold it. What is this? Are you trying to trick me? Where's the sports?
The Grandson : Is this a kissing book?
Grandpa : Wait, just wait.
The Grandson : Well, when does it get good?
Grandpa : Keep your shirt on, and let me read.
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Man in Black : Look, are you just fiddling around with me or what?
Fezzik : I just want you to feel you're doing well.
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Inigo Montoya : My father was slaughtered by a six-fingered man. He was a great swordmaker, my father. When the six-fingered man appeared and requested a special sword, my father took the job. He slaved a year before it was done.
[Shows the Man in Black the sword]
Man in Black : I've never seen its equal.
Inigo Montoya : The six-fingered man returned and demanded it, but at one tenth his promised price. My father refused. Without a word, the six-fingered man slashed him through the heart. I loved my father. So naturally, I challenged his murderer to a duel. I failed. The six-fingered man left me alive, but he gave me these.
[strokes the scars on his cheeks]
Man in Black : How old were you?
Inigo Montoya : I was eleven years old. And when I was strong enough, I dedicated my life to the study of fencing. So the next time we meet, I will not fail. I will go up to the six-fingered man and say, "Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die."
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Buttercup : You're the Dread Pirate Roberts, admit it!
Man in Black : With pride. What can I do for you?
Buttercup : You can die slowly, cut into a thousand pieces.
Man in Black : Tsk, tsk. That's hardly complimentary, Highness. Why loose your venom on me?
Buttercup : You killed my love.
Man in Black : It's possible. I kill a lot of people.
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Prince Humperdinck : [draws sword] For the last time, surrender!
Westley : DEATH FIRST!
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Westley : Oh, what I wouldn't give for a holocaust cloak.
Inigo Montoya : There, we cannot help you.
Fezzik : Will this do?
[hauls out a black cloak]
Inigo Montoya : Where did you get that?
Fezzik : At Miracle Max's. It fits so nice, he said I could keep it.
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Westley : There's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. It would be a pity to damage yours.
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Man in Black : I challenge you to a battle of wits.
Vizzini : For the Princess?
Man in Black : [nods]
Vizzini : To the death?
Man in Black : [nods]
Vizzini : I accept!
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Westley : I mean, if we only had a wheelbarrow, that would be something.
Inigo Montoya : Where we did we put that wheelbarrow the albino had?
Fezzik : Over the albino, I think.
Westley : Well, why didn't you list that among our assets in the first place?
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Westley : Where am I?
The Albino : [raspy voice] The Pit of Despair! Don't even think...
[clears throat]
The Albino : ... don't even think about trying to escape. The chains are far too thick. Don't dream of being rescued, either; the only way in is secret. Only the Prince, the Count, and I know how to get in and out.
Westley : So I'm here till I die?
The Albino : Until they kill you, yeah.
Westley : Then why bother curing me?
The Albino : Well, the Prince and Count always insist on everyone being healthy before they're broken.
Westley : So it's to be torture?
The Albino : [nods enthusiastically]
Westley : I can cope with torture.
The Albino : [shakes head enthusiastically]
Westley : Don't believe me?
The Albino : You survived the Fire Swamp, so you must be very brave, but no one withstands The Machine.
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Buttercup : Westley. Oh, Westley darling!
[embraces Westley passionately, and is visibly disconcerted when he lies back passively]
Buttercup : Westley, why won't you hold me?
Westley : Gently.
Buttercup : At a time like this, that's all you can think to say. Gently?
[squeezes Westley tighter]
Westley : Gently!
Westley : Ughhhh!
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Prince Humperdinck : You truly love each other? Then you might have been truly happy! No couple in a century has that chance, no matter what the storybooks say. And so I think no man in a century will suffer as greatly as you will
[Throws the lever on the Machine up to the highest setting]
Count Rugen : Not to Fifty!
Westley : [Writhes and howls]
Inigo Montoya : Fezzik, do you hear that? That is the sound of ultimate suffering. My heart made that sound when Count Rugen killed my father. The Man in Black makes it now.
Fezzik : The Man in Black?
Inigo Montoya : His true love is marry Prince Humperdinck tonight, so who else has cause for ultimate suffering?
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Count Rugen : Beautiful isn't it? It took me half a lifetime to invent it. I'm sure you've discovered my deep and abiding interest in pain. Presently I'm writing the definitive work on the subject, so I want you to be totally honest with me on how the machine makes you feel. This being our first try, I'll use the lowest setting.
Count Rugen : As you know, the concept of the suction pump is centuries old. Really that's all this is except that instead of sucking water, I'm sucking life. I've just sucked one year of your life away. I might one day go as high as five, but I really don't know what that would do to you. So, let's just start with what we have. What did this do to you? Tell me. And remember, this is for posterity so be honest. How do you feel?
Man in Black : [issues a whimpering moan]
Count Rugen : Interesting.
-
Inigo Montoya : Hello there. Slow going?
Man in Black : Look, I don't mean to be rude but this is not as easy as it looks, so I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't distract me.
Inigo Montoya : [apologetic] Sorry.
Man in Black : Thank you.
-
[after Inigo pulls the Man in Black to the top]
Man in Black : Thank you.
[He begins to draw his sword, but Inigo motions him to stop]
Inigo Montoya : We'll wait until you are ready.
Man in Black : [sheathes sword] Again, thank you.
-
Fezzik : I am the Dread Pirate Roberts! There will be no survivors!
Inigo Montoya : Now?
Westley : Not yet.
Fezzik : My men are here! I am here! But soon, *you* will not be here!
Inigo Montoya : Now?
Westley : Light him!
Fezzik : [on fire] The Dread Pirate Roberts takes no survivors! All your worst nightmares are about to come true! The Dread Pirate Roberts is here for your *souls*!
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Buttercup : If you'll release me, whatever you ask for ransom, you'll get it! I promise you.
Man in Black : And what is that worth, the promise of a woman? You're very funny, Highness.
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Westley : Never happened.
Buttercup : It did! This old man said "Man and Wife"
Westley : Did you say "I do"
Buttercup : No, we sort of skipped that part.
Westley : Then you're not married. If you didn't say it, you didn't do it. Wouldn't you agree, your Highness?
Prince Humperdinck : A technicality that will shortly be remedied.
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Westley : But how will you capture us? We know the Secrets of the Fire Swamp. We can live there quite happily for some time, so if you ever feel like dying, please pay us a visit.
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Man in Black : That was a warning, Highness. Next time my hand flies on its own. Where I come from, there are penalties when a woman lies.
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Fezzik : [Inigo puts the miracle pill into Westley's mouth] How long do we have to wait, before we know the miracle works?
Inigo Montoya : You're guess is as good as mine.
Westley : [Opens his eyes] I'll beat you both apart! I'll take you both together!
Fezzik : [Promptly covers Westley's mouth] I guess not very long.
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Westley : [to Buttercup as they run towards the Fire Swamp] Ha, your pig fiance is too late!
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Fezzik : I just figured why you give me so much trouble.
Westley : Why is that
[squashed against a rock]
Westley : do you think?
Fezzik : Well, I haven't fought one person for so long. I've been specialised in groups, battling gangs for local charities, that kind of thing.
Westley : Why should that make such a
[squashed painfully]
Westley : difference?
Fezzik : You use different moves when you're fighting half a dozen people, than when you only have to be worried about one
[falls unconscious]
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Buttercup : I thought you were dead once and it almost killed me. I could not bear it if you died again, not when I could save you.
[Humperdink sweeps her away on his Horse]
Count Rugen : Come, Sir, we must get you to your Ship.
Westley : We are men of Action, Lies do not become us.
Count Rugen : Well spoken, Sir... What is it, what's wrong?
Westley : You have six fingers on your right hand! Someone was looking for you
[knocked unconscious]
Westley : .
-
[Westley, Inigo and Fezzik are storming the castle, with Fezzik wearing a black cloak and being wheeled in via wheelbarrow, as "Dread Pirate Roberts. Prince Humperdink's men are slowly backing away in horror]
Fezzik : I am the Dread Pirate Roberts. There will be no survivors.
[Camera shows Inigo and a still paralyzed Westley pushing the wheelbarrow]
Inigo Montoya : [strained] Now?
Westley : Not yet.
Fezzik : [to the soldiers; in a very intimidating voice] My men are here. I am here. But soon, *YOU* will not be here.
Inigo Montoya : [very strained] Now?
Westley : Light him.
[Inigo sets the wheelbarrow on fire with a lit candle. The giant, intimidating form of the cloaked Fezzik becomes a burning phantom-like image. The soldiers stand in front of the castle gate, stiff with horror as the gargantuan inferno slowly advances towards them]
Fezzik : The Dread Pirate Roberts spares no survivor. All your worst nightmares, are about to come true!
[the soldiers scurry out of the way like terrified mice]
