- Casey: [Southern Belle Accent] My, my, it's hot. But thank God it's not sticky. I just hate it when it's sticky. Listen to silly me. A sticky desert. That's as foolish as a... an intelligent woman. How ridiculous. What nonsense. God, I miss Tara.
- O'Brien: Damn it, man, what are you so hot and bothered about? Afraid she'll open her jacket and flash her titties at you? You couldn't handle that, could you?
- Jenkins: I've seen enough titties in my time.
- Moses: I haven't.
- Fourth Chauffeur: Been a hundred years since I seen a good titty.
- Moses: No such thing as a bad titty.
- Jenkins: Goddamn it. There now. That's my point. The little bimbo hasn't been here an hour and all you hormone graveyards can talk about is nipples.
- Moses: Didn't mention nipples.
- Fourth Chauffeur: We was speaking of the titty as a whole.
- McBride: [McBride is addressing his drivers] We are not interested in change...
- Casey: [rushing in] I'm sorry I'm late!
- [she runs into Doolittle, causing him to spill his coffee into his lap]
- Casey: Ohhh! Ohhh... I'm so sorry!
- [she takes a handkerchief and attempt to clean him up]
- McBride: [startled] What are you doing?
- Casey: I came for a job.
- McBride: This is Brentwood Limousine, Limited.
- Casey: I know, I'm gonna be a driver.
- McBride: [as Doolittle gets more and more excited by Casey's handling of him] Madam, if you continue masturbating my driver, you're going to be a murderer.
- [she stops, she and Doolittle blow each other a kiss]
- McBride: What do you want?
- Casey: Job.
- McBride: Doing what?
- Casey: Driving.
- McBride: Driving WHAT?
- Casey: Big black limousines! Whoo... baby!
- Casey: Oh mister, you can't do that. you don't know how sick you're gonna be. I just went through this with my dog.
- Catfight: Jesus jumpin' Christ. Look.
- Bimbo: What?
- Catfight: A blue woman with a blue dog.
- Beebop: No.
- Catfight: Yes.
- Boom Boom: She ain't blue.
- Catfight: Her hair's blue.
- Beebop: That counts.
- Catfight: Dog's blue.
- Bimbo: That's 20,000 points.
- Boom Boom: Gotta get her underwear.
- Catfight: I'll get 'em.
- [growls]
- Bone: This is the club I hang at. And the problem is I'm going to be walking in with a guy dressed as a waterbed.
- Casey: [to Abdul] Your Excellency, do you want to wait for your bodyguard?
- Bone: What do you mean? What do I look like? His manicurist? I'M his bodyguard! I'm his American bodyguard. Yeah, he's got a whole bunch of bodyguards out there. Those towlheads out there are his Arabian bodyguards. They protect him from sandstorms comming up in his face, and camel farts which make him nervous. I protect him from... from those guys because there was an artical in Scentific American that these Iranian guys get the sun beatin' on their heads. They come out of the sun and they go ape shit... and kill their superiors, their generals and stuff. I'm here to protect him from them.
- Casey: Is that all right, your Excellency?
- Bone: Of course it's all right! I'm his bodyguard. I'm Bone and this is... what's your name?
- [Abdul does not respond]
- Bone: Fine. Let's call him Abdul. Let's just drive. Lady, just drive.
- Bone: Okay ladies, it's time for the GRATUITOUS NUDITY! You supply the nudity, and we supply the gratuity.
- Jenkins: You sure it wasn't a snow white kangaroo and her majesty just climbed on its back and hopped off to court?
- Bone: Listen, if you have a little more trouble getting that skirt off I'll give you another hundred.
- Jenkins: [sadly, after McBride has fired Casey in front of the other drivers] I was starting to like that little girl.