Jumpin' Jack Flash (1986)
Whoopi Goldberg: Terry Doolittle
Photos
Quotes
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[Trying to decipher Jumpin' Jack Flash's lyrics]
Terry Doolittle : I was raised by two lesbians? Come on, Mick. Fuck a duck!
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Terry Doolittle : Drag the river! There are killers running around the fucking city!
Detective : How would you like me to wash your mouth out with a wire brush?
Terry Doolittle : How'd you like if I kicked you in the nuts so hard that they get lodged in your fucking nostrils?
Marty Phillips : My, that's a vivid image, isn't it?
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[trying to decipher the lyrics to Jumpin' Jack Flash]
Terry Doolittle : Mick, Mick, Mick! Speak English!
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Terry Doolittle : [talking to a police detective who assumes she's a prostitute] What is it with you people? Every time you see a black woman there has to be a pimp or a john? What, do you think there's a lot of work down on the pier for hookers? Do you think I'm giving blow jobs down there to goldfish?
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Terry Doolittle : I'm a little black woman in a big silver box. On the top of it it says "phone".
Terry Doolittle : [screams] Help!
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Mr. Van Meter : Do you mean you're a civilian? You don't know anything about this, do you?
Terry Doolittle : I don't know *dick* about this! Except some guy calling himself "Jumpin' Jack Flash" taps into my computer! Tells me I gotta go to his house and get a frying pan! To call Van Halen... Van Morrison...
Mr. Van Meter : Van Meter.
Terry Doolittle : ...Van Meter!
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Marty Phillips : [noticing Terry's dress, which has recently been partially run through a shredder] Am I just square, or is there something wrong with your dress?
Terry Doolittle : [glares at him] I got moths. Big, mutant, junkie *moths*!
Marty Phillips : Jesus, Terry. You got a dead guy, you got cops, you got your apartment trashed... what are you getting involved in? What are you doing?
Terry Doolittle : I'm... winging it!
Marty Phillips : [exasperated] Oh, you're winging it!
Terry Doolittle : Yes, I'm winging it, Marty!
Marty Phillips : Well, that's great!
Terry Doolittle : Why, thank you!
[She herds him out the door]
Marty Phillips : Terry...
[She slams the door in his face]
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Terry Doolittle : [typing and speaking aloud] What else can I do?
Jack, actual text : [NEED YOU TO CONTACT OTHER AGENTS]
Terry Doolittle : [reading aloud] "Need other c - " Are you crazy? You need more contacts? I work at a bank!
Terry Doolittle : [typing aloud] Who?
Terry Doolittle : [reading aloud] "First go to my apartment in New York and get something for me." God, what do you need? A trenchcoat? A camera? Microfilm! Ooh, ooh...
Terry Doolittle : [typing aloud] What?
Terry Doolittle : [reading aloud] "A frying pan." I'd have probably thought about that next.
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Terry Doolittle : Do the world a favor! Get yourself an office! With a desk! And a lamp!
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Terry Doolittle : This is great. I mean, I'm down here at 1:30 in the morning on the docks. I should just pin a hundred dollar bill to my ass and scream "Victim here! Victim here!"
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Terry Doolittle : [into phone] You want a quarter? Kiss my ass! Find me in New York for this fucking quarter!
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Terry Doolittle : Dog's barking, can't fly without umbrella.
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[at a spa]
Terry Doolittle : What the fuck are you running here, Wild Kingdom?
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Detective : Is she on some kind of medication?
Marty Phillips : Not that I know of. Are you on some kind of medication?
Terry Doolittle : Marty! You know, you can talk directly to me, asshole.
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[Terry cuts off the Russian video from her computer monitor]
Fred, 1st National Bank : You should have left it on. It's almost time for "Leave it to Brezhnev."
Terry Doolittle : No, it's not. It's time for "Gilligan's Gulag."
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Terry Doolittle : I've just had several of the worst days in my young life, Mr. Page, and the last thing I need is some jighead like you to be screaming at me in a whiny voice. If you don't leave me alone, I'm gonna snatch this badboy off your head
[pulls off Page's toupee, he gasps]
Terry Doolittle : and ram it up your ol' chocolate whizway.
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Jack : Knock knock.
Terry Doolittle : Leave me alone.
Jack : I'm sorry. Unavoidably delayed in London. Queen thanks you.
Terry Doolittle : [typing] Frankly, I don't give a shit about the queen. I did give a shit about you, however. I sat in that restaurant feeling stupid. And hurt.
Terry Doolittle : [stops typing] I mean, what happened to you? All you had to do was come and say "hi" or "thanks" or something. I mean you just left me sitting there. But no, you sent me to a restaurant with shitty bread sticks.
Jack : Sorry. I still want to to take you to dinner.
Terry Doolittle : [typing] Next time I'm in London, I'll look you up.
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Marty Phillips : [after shootout ensues and the criminals are apprehended] Anything you want me to tell Jack?
Terry Doolittle : Yeah. You can tell him not to forget our date.
Cynthia : All this is for a date?
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Terry Doolittle : Look, he's been shopping at Walgreens again. He's got his Brut collection.
Doug : Hey, at least I'm always ready for ladies.
Terry Doolittle : Hey man, try some soap, you know?
Doug : I did. It got lonely.
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Jeremy Talbott : [to his thugs] Don't kill her.
Terry Doolittle : No, no. Don't kill me. You're right.
Jeremy Talbott : She's worthless dead.
Terry Doolittle : Listen to the man.
Jeremy Talbott : We've got to be sure.
Terry Doolittle : That's right, Mr. Talbot.
Jeremy Talbott : So shoot her in the legs.
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Terry Doolittle : [while she is drugged with truth serum] Look what they did to this woman - she looks *terrible*!
Receptionist at Elizabeth Arden : It's a man.
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Archer Lincoln : Do you know what a pawn is?
Terry Doolittle : [sarcastically] Yes, it's a shrimp.
Archer Lincoln : That's a prawn. A pawn...
Terry Doolittle : ...is the smallest piece on the chessboard!
Archer Lincoln : And the most expendable.
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Terry Doolittle : Liz! Liz! Liz! KGB!
Liz Carlson : Not in front of the kids!
Kristi Carlson : Can I write "KGB" on the cake?
Liz Carlson : No, you may not.
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[while she is being chased by thugs]
Terry Doolittle : I got diseases... I got shit that will make your dick fall off!
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Terry Doolittle : There is a dead man, floating around in the river!
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Terry Doolittle : Jack! what is this? Everytime I turn around I get this Russian bitch on my terminal. This fucking Machine!
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Terry Doolittle : I didn't know that's what happens when you put Ex-Lax in tea.
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Terry Doolittle : Where the fuck is the taxi?