Siskel & Ebert (1986–2010)

Richard Roeper: Self - Host, Self - Guest Host

Quotes 

• Roger Ebert : [after Roeper gives 'Cheaper by the Dozen 2' a negative review]  You know, I'm giving this one a marginal thumbs-up...

  Richard Roeper : Who are you, and what have you done with Roger Ebert?

• Richard Roeper : [after Ebert gives his opinion on one of the films they are reviewing]  Oh, really! I thought this movie was *terrible*!

• Roger Ebert : New on video this week; Reese Witherspoon and Mark Ruffalo in "Just Like Heaven" which got two thumbs up. "Doom," with The Rock, which got two thumbs down, and the Oscar nominated "Wallace & Gromit: The Curse of the Were-Rabbit" which was loved by just about everyone in the world, including me, but you know Richard, it seems like only yesterday...

  [flashes back to when they reviewed the movie for the first time four months ago] 

  Roger Ebert : No, no, no, no, no. You can't! You can not... you can *not*... you can *not* give this movie thumbs down!

  Richard Roeper : [points along his thumb]  Thumb... pointing... down.

  Roger Ebert : [flashes back to present]  How could you of been so wrong?

• [last lines] 

  Richard Roeper : Until next week, the balcony is closed.

• Richard Roeper : [reviewing "The Spongebob Squarepants Movie"]  If college kids find this entertaining, they must be on drugs!

• Richard Roeper : You're too kind.

  Roger Ebert : You're too cruel.

• Richard Roeper : At least the thugs from "3000 Miles to Graceland" look like grown-up tough guys, unlike the teeny-bopper idols in "American Outlaws" who couldn't punch their way out of a casting call for a Gap commercial.

• Richard Roeper : Our next movie is "Son of the Mask", this was almost a landmark for me. In the five years I've been co-hosting this show, this is the closest I've ever come to walking out halfway through the film and now that I look back on the experience, I wish I had!

• Richard Roeper : And here I thought "Dumb & Dumberer" was going to be the worst Jim Carrey-free sequel I see in my life, believe it or not, "Son of the Mask" is even worse!

• [reviewing "Saw"] 

  Richard Roeper : Later, we're given reason to believe *Glover's* character could be the killer, or maybe it's... somebody else. Whoever it is, I guess he has the strength of Mr. Incredible, because he kidnaps all these victims, and he can carry them to the appointed torture chamber, and then he *watches* them self destruct, because, of course, he has more webcams than the girls at voyeurdorm.com.

• Michael Phillips : [after Roeper gives "Hell Ride" a positive review]  Rich, the late Joey Bishop would come back from the grave and say, "Son, nyuck!" This film doesn't work as, you know, jokey sadism. It doesn't work as a straight action picture. Uh... did you... did you really see it?

  Richard Roeper : I did see it.

  [later in the review] 

  Richard Roeper : I wish I had a Chevy Nova and a drive-in and I'd go see it again.

• Richard Roeper : If there's one movie from 2008 you should avoid at all costs, that movie would be "Funny Games". The fact that it features fine performances, talented direction, and some moments of genuine suspense only make the end product that much more grotesque, and appalling.

  [later in the review] 

  Michael Phillips : Well, I think it's a date movie, Richard, as long as you're da... as long as you're dating... Charles Manson, or Squeaky Fromme, or something.

• Richard Roeper : i read a review that said lady killers was tom hankd best movie since forrest gump. but i thought it was his worst movie since turner and hooch.