- Porky Wallace: You're gonna have to forgive my temper, Meat. But I'm glad to see my son-in-law's a moxie guy, 'cause that's just what I want for my grandson.
- Meat Tuperello: What grandson?
- Porky Wallace: The one from you and Blossom, asshole. What do you think you're doing here?
- Meat Tuperello: Beats the shit out of me.
- Porky Wallace: I hope we don't have to do that. Nah, that's not important. All I want now is a little grand-child. A little Porky. Someone I can put on my knee, teach them to go fishing, gamble, break heads, kick ass. Someone I can be proud of. Carry on the family name.
- [at graduation]
- Pee Wee Morris: Inga? Do you still have your dress on?
- Inga: It's American custom, you know.
- Tommy, Meat, Billy, Brian and Wendy (together): Ja! Ja! Ja!
- Inga: I love America.
- [she unzips her gown and shows pee wee her breasts]
- Inga: Ja, ja, ja.
- [Beulah Balbricker has accused Billy and his friends of watching porn in the school library]
- Billy: Miss Balbricker, with all due respect. That's your opinion.
- Beulah Balbricker: They all had BONERS!
- Wendy Williams: Mr. Carter, I will not stand here and be accused of having a *boner*!
- Pee Wee Morris: [Pee Wee is describing his dream] ... so Carter steps on my gown, and the entire graduating class is looking at my wiener!
- Meat Tuperello: They'd need *magnifying glasses to see your wiener. It's more like a weinerette.
- Pee Wee Morris: So why did I get a standing ovation?
- Wendy Williams: They were standing to get a better look.
- Pee Wee Morris: At least I had something they *wanted* to see, Wendy.
- Tommy Turner: We've got something you'll *all* want to see, a *stag film*.
- [Porky just lost a lot of money because of Angel Beach's basketball victory]
- Porky Wallace: [seeing Blossom happy] What are you so happy about?
- Blossom: Meat won the game for *me*, Daddy.
- Porky Wallace: Who?
- Blossom: Meat. Meat Tuperello. He's my boyfriend.
- Porky Wallace: You know that boy?
- Blossom: We went all the way.
- Porky Wallace: Say again!
- Blossom: [louder] We *went* all the way!
- Ralph: [as Porky gets angrier] Do you want him dead or just crippled?
- [Porky looks at Ralph, then Meat, then Blossom]
- Porky Wallace: [restrained anger] I want that bastard *married to her*!
- [Blossom smiles]
- [Porky and his men have just abducted Meat on the way to the Senior Prom]
- Porky Wallace: Now! You tell those five double-crossing basketball pricks, that Porky FINALLY got his REVENGE! That's right. Mr. Meat Tuperello will be at no graduation! He's signing onboard the H.M.S. Pignuts WITH ME for an INDEFINITE CRUISE! Got it?
- Connie: That's *kidnapping*!
- Porky Wallace: It's NOT kidnapping when he's your son-in-law! And THAT he's gonna BE!
- [Porky leaves]
- Grandmother: You hungry?
- Meat Tuperello: I'm always hungry.
- Grandmother: You wanna eat?
- Meat Tuperello: Sure.
- Grandmother: Who?