The Goonies (1985)
Sean Astin: Mikey
Photos
Quotes
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Mikey : Goonies never say die!
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Mikey : Don't you realize? The next time you see sky, it'll be over another town. The next time you take a test, it'll be in some other school. Our parents, they want the best of stuff for us. But right now, they got to do what's right for them. Because it's their time. Their time! Up there! Down here, it's our time. It's our time down here. That's all over the second we ride up Troy's bucket.
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[Data comes flying into the house knocking over everyone]
Chunk : [saves the statue of Michaelangelo's David] Hey! I bet you guys thought I was going to drop it huh? I know you would think that from good ol' Chunk.
[Chunk places the statue on the table, but it falls off]
Brandon Walsh : You idiot!
Mikey : Oh, my god!
[Mikey runs over to pick up the statue and hold the breathalizer in his mouth]
Chunk : [examines the statue] Look, look! It's not broken. It's perfect! Ha ha!
Mikey : [sees that the statue's penis has broken off] Oh, my GOD! That's my mom's most favorite piece!
[Mikey tries to put the penis back on]
Chunk : Oh, my god.
Mouth : You wouldn't be here if it wasn't.
Mikey : Shut up, Mouth!
Brandon Walsh : Shut up, Mouth.
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Chunk : Look, how's that? How's that?
Mikey : Oh, you idiot! You glued it on upside down!
Brandon Walsh : You dork! If God made it like that, you'd all be pissing in your faces!
Chunk : Looks fine to me.
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Richard 'Data' Wang : Hey I've got a great idea you guys! Slick shoes!
Mikey , Mouth : [together] Slick shoes? ARE YOU CRAZY?
Andy : DATA!
Francis Fratelli : [Jake tries to push Francis over the log] DON'T PUSH JAKE!
Jake Fratelli : I'm not pushing Francis now hurry up!
[Francis slips and falls on his crotch]
Mama Fratelli : Francis sweetheart are you okay?
Francis Fratelli : [High pitched voice] NOOOOOOO!
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Brandon Walsh : [Rosalita screaming in spanish] What's she saying Mouth? Translate.
Mouth : No pen. No write. No sign!
Mikey : No, Dad. Don't sign it!
[Rosalita runs over to Mrs Walsh and pulls out her hand and empties Mikey's marble bag]
Mikey : Dad! Dad! It's my marble bag. The Fratelis forgot to check it. I emptied out all of my marbles and put the jewels in. We don't have to leave the boon docks!
Irving Walsh : [ripping up the foreclosure document] They'll be no more signing today or ever again.
[cheering]
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[last lines]
Mikey : [gives a kiss] Bye, Willy. Thanks.
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Chunk : Listen, okay? You guys'll never believe me. There was two cop cars, okay? And they were chasing this four-wheel deal, this real neat ORV, and there were bullets flying all over the place. It was the most amazing thing I ever saw!
Mikey : More amazing than the time Michael Jackson come over to your house to use the bathroom.
Brandon Walsh : More amazing than the time you saved those old people from that nursing home fire, right?
Mouth : Yeah, and I bet it was even more amazing than the time you ate your weight in Godfather's pizza, right?
Chunk : Okay, Brand. Michael Jackson didn't come over to my house to use the bathroom. But his sister did.
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[the Goonies are collecting coins from a wishing well]
Stef : Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, stop, stop! You can't do this.
Data : Why?
Mikey : Why?
Stef : Because these are somebody else's wishes. They're somebody else's dreams.
Mouth : Yeah, but you know what? This one, this one right here. This was my dream, my wish. And it didn't come true. So I'm taking it back. I'm taking them all back.
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Mikey : [to Andy after she hits a wrong note on the piano] It's OK, you're a Goonie and Goonies always make mistakes... just don't make any more.
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Mikey : [to One-Eyed Willie] Hi Willie. Oh, I'm Mike Walsh. You've been expecting me, haven't you? Well I made it. I beat you. I got here in one piece... so far.
[lifts up Willie's patch]
Mikey : So... that's why they call you One-Eyed Willie... One-Eyed Willie.
[takes a breath from his breathalizer]
Mikey : We have a lot in common, you and me. One-Eyed Willie. You're the first Goonie.
[the rest of the Goonies show up]
Mikey : Yo. Hi guys. How's it going? This is Willie... One-Eyed Willie. Say hi, Willie. Those are my friends... the Goonies.
[pauses]
Mikey : How long have you guys been standing there?
Brandon Walsh : Long enough, Mikey. Long enough.
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Mikey : [calls for a bathroom break] Okay, this is the little boys' room, and that cave over there is the little girls' room.
[Brandon heads to a different cave]
Mikey : Brand, where're you going?
Brandon Walsh : This is the *men's* room.
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Data : Hey any of you guys ever hear of Detroit?
Mikey : No.
Mouth : Sointenly! Where Motown started. It's also got the highest murder rate in the country.
Data : Well, let me tell you what. That's where we're going when we lose the house tomorrow.
Mikey : You shut up about that stuff, it'll never happen. My dad will fix it.
Brandon Walsh : Yeah sure he will. If he gets his next 400 paychecks by tommorrow afternoon.
Mikey : That's wrong Brand! It won't happen.
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Mama Fratelli : Four waters. Is that all?
[Mikey, Chunk, Data and Mouth nodded]
Mouth : No! I want the veal scalopini.
Mikey : [whispers] Shut up Mouth.
Mouth : I want a good fettucini alfredo. I want a bottle of fettucine, a 1981.
[Mouth makes a kissing sound with his fingers]
Mama Fratelli : [grabs Mouth by the chin] The only thing we serve is tongue.
[Mouth enters his tongue, she uses the pocket knife, three boys shocked and covers their mouths]
Mama Fratelli : Do you boys like tongue?
[Mikey, Data and Chunk shook their heads, she laughs and puts his pocket knife away]
Mama Fratelli : That's all?
Mouth : Yeah, yeah.
Mama Fratelli : Sit down!
[Four boys are trying to sit down. But, Chunk falls off the chair]
Mouth : Are you all right, Chunk?
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Mikey : [while trying to escape the crumbling cave] What about the loot?
Brandon Walsh : What about our lives?
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Mikey : Sorry, Dad, we had our hands on the future, but we gave it up just to save our own lives.
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[Chunk drinks from a water cooler while the others try to figure out how to get through the floor]
Mouth : I've got an idea. Why don't we just spread chocolate all over the floor and let Chunk eat his way through?
Chunk : Okay, Mouth. That's all I can stand... and I can't stand no more!
[steps towards Mouth, knocks over the cooler, and tries to right it]
Chunk : I got it! I got it! I got it!
[rights the cooler, but the bottle falls off and breaks]
Chunk : I don't got it.
Mouth , Mikey , Brandon Walsh : You klutz!
Chunk : Hope it's not a deposit bottle!
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Chunk : [with potato chips in his mouth] You think your Mom's gonna notice?
Mikey : What?
Chunk : [more clearly] Do you think your Mom is going to notice? Notice that the statue's penis is missing.
Mikey : I wonder if she'll notice.
Chunk : That's what I said!
Mikey : Well, of course she'll notice. She notices everything.
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Richard 'Data' Wang : [Falls through to ship's hold; group of Goonies ask if he's okay] Data's okay! Data's quite tired of falling and Data's tired of skeletons!
Brandon Walsh : Why didn't you use the stairs?
Richard 'Data' Wang : Use the stairs! Stairs! The stupid guys tell me to use the stairs when Data's falling. If Data's hurt, nobody cares anymore...
Mikey : [walks down the stairs] Data's okay...
Richard 'Data' Wang : Then some guy tells me I have stupid inventions. I've been spending months and months studying on them and inventing them. God!
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Mouth : It's locked.
Chunk : Thank God!
Mouth : Hey wait a minute, Chunk. You know I got some naked pictures of your mom. Taking a bath. Wanna buy them?
Chunk : What!
Mouth : Real cheap.
[Chunk charges for Mouth but rams the door open instead]
Richard 'Data' Wang , Mikey , Chunk , Mouth : Thanks, Chunk. Thanks.
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Harriet Walsh : [Sirens wailing] Where are my boys?
Harriet Walsh , Irving Walsh : Mikey? Brand?
Mikey : Hi mom. Hi dad. I guess we're in big shit now right?
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Mikey : It was a retropactum!
Brandon Walsh : Retrospective!
Mikey : See! That's what I said! You always contradict me... I know what I was saying. It was on the history of Astoria and these are the rejects!
Chunk : Kinda like us... Mikey. The Goonies.
Mouth : I'm not a reject!
Mikey : Take that stuff off, you'll get me in trouble
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Chunk : What's all the stuff in the attic?
Mikey : It has something to do with my dad being the assistant curly, curny.
Brandon Walsh : [smacking Mikey on the back of the head] Curator.
Mikey : That's what I said.
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Mikey : [the kids are arguing] Stop! We've got to get to the lowest point of the floor.
Brandon Walsh : Lowest point nothing, Mikey. Now let's go!
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Mikey : I swear on my life! They've got an... an 'IT!' A giant 'IT!' When it came into the light it was all gross and distorted, and, and...
Brandon Walsh : Yeah, kinda like your brain, right lame-o? Say goodbye to your little pals.
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[Data activates a machine, which prints out paper of money]
Data : Fifty-dollar bills. Fifty-dollar hills? FIFTY DOLLAR BILLS?
Stef , Andy : Did he say fifty-dollar bills?
Data : Guys! There's hundreds of fifty-dollar bills! We have the money to save the Goon Docks!
[the kids gather around in excitement until Brandon takes a closer look at the money]
Brandon Walsh : QUIET!
[they do so]
Brandon Walsh : They're fake. They're bogus. They're phony bills!
Data : No!
Mikey : I knew these people were from the ozone!
Andy : You get 25 years for counterfeiting!
Chunk : AW!
