Sixteen Candles (1984)

Molly Ringwald: Samantha

Photos 

31 more photos

Quotes 

• Samantha : I can't believe this. They fucking forgot my birthday.

• [last lines] 

  Samantha : Thanks for getting my undies back.

  Jake : Thanks for coming over.

  Samantha : Thanks for coming to get me.

  Jake : Happy Birthday, Samantha. Make a wish.

  Samantha : It already came true.

  [they kiss] 

• Samantha : Donger's here for five hours, and he's got somebody. I live here my whole life, and I'm like a disease.

• Jim Baker : Why do you think you're a dork? I don't think you're a dork. I don't think Mom thinks you're a dork.

  Samantha : Mike thinks I'm a dork.

  Jim Baker : Mike *is* a dork.

• The Geek : This information cannot leave this room. Okay? It would devastate my reputation as a dude.

  Samantha : No problem.

  The Geek : I've never bagged a babe. I'm not a stud.

  [Samantha chuckles] 

• Grandma Helen : Oh Sam, let me look at you. Fred, she's gotten her boobies.

  Grandpa Fred : [chuckles]  I better go get my magnifying glass.

  Grandma Helen : Oh, and they are so Perky.

  Grandma Helen : [reaches to cup them] 

  Samantha : [cut to Sam's bedroom]  I can't believe my Grandmother actually felt me up.

• Samantha : I loathe the bus. There has to be a more dignified mode of transportation.

• Randy : [talking on the phone with Samantha]  I was going to tell you something, but, maybe I shouldn't. It's pretty bad.

  Samantha : You may as well. Nothing could shock me anymore.

  Randy : Last night at the dance, my little brother paid a buck to see your underwear.

  Samantha : [screams]  Aaaaaaaahhh!

  Howard : [Her grandparents downstairs are startled by the scream]  Geez! I hate that rock 'n' roll rubbish!

  Grandpa Fred : Well, I'm afraid it's here to stay, Howie.

• Brenda Baker : Can you remember to turn off the stove in 20 minutes?

  Samantha : I can remember lots of things.

• Samantha : When you don't have anything, you don't have anything to lose. Right?

  Randy : That's a cheerful thought.

• The Geek : Come on, what's the problem here? I'm a boy. You're a girl. Is there any thing wrong with me trying to put together some kind of relationship between us? Okay, look, I know you haven't been - just answer me one question.

  Samantha : Yes, you're a total fag.

  The Geek : [laughs]  That's not the question. Am I turning you on?

• Ginny : No, Sam, I think you're just being a little selfish... and immature.

  Samantha : Oh, yes, that's it. That's *exactly* it.

  [storms out] 

  Ginny : [to herself]  Unbelievable. You make someone a bridesmaid and they shit all over you.

• The Geek : I know I came on kinda like a poozer on the bus tonight and everything. But... that's just so my friends won't think, you know, I'm a jerk.

  Samantha : But they're all pretty much jerks, though, aren't they?

  The Geek : Yeah, but, the thing is, I'm kinda like the leader, you know? Kinda like the king of the dipshits.

  Samantha : Well, that's pretty cool. Hey, but a lot can happen over a year. I mean, you could come back next Fall as a completely normal person.

• Brenda Baker : Oh, Sam. Sam, I am so sorry about your birthday.

  Samantha : It's OK. I'll recover.

  Brenda Baker : It's important to you. And yesterday morning you were trying to tell me.

  [Sniffling] 

  Samantha : It's OK, Mom. These things sometimes happen.

  Brenda Baker : Oh, honey, I just feel miserable.

  Samantha : You'll feel better.

  Mike Baker : Who died?

  Brenda Baker : Uh... Is there something you want to say to your sister?

  Mike Baker : What? Are you kidding? Where should I start?

  Brenda Baker : I mean about her birthday. It was yesterday. We all forgot.

  Mike Baker : [laughing]  Classic.

  Brenda Baker : Deep down, he's really sorry.

  Brenda Baker , Samantha : [Together]  No, he's not.

• The Geek : You know, I'm getting input here that I'm reading as relatively hostile. I mean, it's...

  Samantha : Go to hell.

  The Geek : VERY hostile!

• The Geek : How's it goin'?

  Samantha : How's what going?

  The Geek : You know - things, life, whatnot.

  Samantha : Life is not whatnot, and it's none of your business.

• Samantha : This is Farmer Fred.

  The Geek : Ted.

  Samantha : Oh, I'm sorry, Farmer Ted.

  The Geek : I'm not really a farmer. I'm a freshman.

• Samantha : This is the single worst day of my entire life!

  Mike Baker : What the hell are you bitchin' about? I have to sleep under some Chinaman named after duck's dork.

  Samantha : Well, where am I sleeping?

  Mike Baker : Sofa City, Sweetheart.

• Samantha : May I be excused?

  Grandma Helen : Where are you going?

  Samantha : I have a dance to go to - at school. It's a very important dance... uh we're being graded on it, for Gym.

• Randy : [Samantha has filled out an "anonymous" sex quiz naming her crush, which has fallen into unknown hands]  Jake Ryan? He doesn't even know you exist.

  Samantha : Thank you, that's a very nice thing to say.

  Randy : I'm sorry, but Jake Ryan? He's a senior, and he's taken. I mean, really taken.

  Samantha : I know. He's supposed to be my ideal.

  Randy : He's ideal for sure, but, forget it.

  Samantha : God, I hope whoever got the note doesn't know it was me who wrote it. I'd shit twice and die.

• Samantha : It's really human of you to listen to all my bullshit.

• Samantha : I can't believe I gave my panties to a geek.

• Samantha : Oh my God! What should I do? Should I go up to him and and should I say, "Hi Jake, I'm Samantha", or no, maybe I should let him come to me?

  The Geek : This is not my department.

• Samantha : Do I look any older?

  Jim Baker : No, I wouldn't say so.

• Samantha : I swear to God this has got be a joke.

• Samantha : [mouths from across the street]  Me?

  Jake : Yeah, you.

  [smiles and jogs across the street] 

  Samantha , Jake : [both in unison]  Hi.

  Jake : Hi.

  Samantha : Hi. What are you doing here?

  Jake : I heard you were here.

  Samantha : You came here for me?

  Jake : Is that OK?

  Samantha : [flattered]  Yeah, it's OK.

  Jake : Do you have to go to the reception now?

  Samantha : I'm supposed to.

  Jake : Can I call you later?

  Samantha : Sure... I mean no.

  Jake : No, I can't call you later?

  Samantha : Yeah... No, I mean, I'm not going to the reception.

  Jake : Oh. Great.

  [walks Samantha to his Porsche] 

• Samantha : [to herself in the mirror]  Chronologically, you're 16 today. Physically, you're still 15.

  [sighs] 

  Samantha : Hopeless.

• The Geek : So, I mean, what's your story? I mean, you got a guy, or...?

  Samantha : Yes, three big ones, and they lust wimp blood, so quit bugging me or I'll sic them all over your weenie ass.

• Samantha : You know everyone in this family has gone total outer limits.

• Samantha : Since I was about 12 I've been looking forward to my Sweet 16, you know, a big party and a band with...

  Samantha , Randy : ...tons of people.

  Randy : And a big Trans Am in the driveway with a ribbon around it. And some incredible gorgeous guy that you meet like in France. And you do it on a cloud without getting pregnant or herpes.

  Samantha : I don't need a cloud.

  Randy : Just a pink dress and the guy, right?

  Samantha : A black one.

  Randy : A black guy?

  Samantha : A black Trans Am, a pink guy.

• Grandpa Fred : Oh, I've got one for you. Knock. Knock.

  Samantha : Who's there?

  Grandpa Fred : Who.

  Samantha : Who who?

  Grandpa Fred : Helen, we've got an owl out here in the hall!

  [Grandpa Fred starts tickling Sam] 

  Grandma Helen : Oh, Fred, leave her alone. You'll make her tinkle.

• The Geek : Would you feel better if you knew one of my secrets?

  Samantha : Don't gross me out.

• Samantha : I look exactly the same as I have since summer: utterly forgettable.

• Samantha : I didn't expect to wake up transformed. I just thought that turning 16 would be so major that I'd wake up with an improved mental state that would show in my face. All it shows is I don't have any sort of a tan left.

• Samantha : [to herself in the mirror]  You need four inches of bod and a great birthday.

• Grandpa Fred : Well, well, if it isn't Sammy Baker Davis, Junior!

  Samantha : Hello, Grandpa.

• Samantha : I meant that it's OK that you did it once; but, I didn't mean for you to do it again!

• The Geek : Would it be totally off the wall if I asked if I could have sex with you?

  Samantha : You asking me is not as off the wall as to why I won't.

• Samantha : I have to go to this wedding and look like Miss Pretty Princess in this dipshit bridesmaid's dress. I don't even have one-tenth of the bod to fill the stupid bust up. So, should I just waste myself and spare the agony?

• Samantha : [Samantha and Randy are watching Caroline taking a shower in the locker room]  It's unbelieveable. I swear to God Caroline Mumford had to flunk about nine grades.

  Randy : Brother's deaf, and everybody in the world worships her. Practically impossible to cut up. She's supposedly real sweet.

  Samantha : And she's going with Jake. Oh, I'm gonna kill myself.