- Nick Martinelli: [singing "Drinkenstein"] Budweiser you created a monster / and they call him Drinkenstein / And the tavern down the street is the labba-tor-eye-ee / where he makes the transformation all the time / And a stein of Dr. Buuuud is a pint of monster blood / and it does effect me different every time / Budweiser you created a monster / and they call me Drinkenstein / And they call me Drinkenstein / I'm Drinkenstein! / I'm Drinkenstein!
- Jake: Do you play an instrument?
- Nick Martinelli: Yeah, I can sorta play a couple of chords on this organ I have at home. Hey, I'll tell you what, why don't you come to my house and teach me a new song?
- Jake: Go to your house, huh? I suppose that's so you can show me your organ, right?
- Nick Martinelli: Why do you think I'm conning you? I tell you I really do have this big organ!
- Jake: All right, we'll go to your place and you can show me your organ. But I'm warning you, it'd best be having music coming out of it.
- Jake: What's it gonna take to buy out my contract? What?
- Freddie Ugo, Rhinestone Owner: [stares at her and stammers] Wa-wa-wa-wa.
- Jake: Don't say a night in the sack!
- Freddie Ugo, Rhinestone Owner: I'd never say anything like that! What's the matter with you? How about thirty minutes?
- Nick Martinelli: But you know, confidentially, between you and me. I mean do you think that eating raw fish is all that good for ya? To me it's like walking across a field and chewing on a cow, you know what I mean?