Johnny Dangerously (1984)

Joe Piscopo: Danny Vermin

Photos 

Quotes 

• Danny Vermin : You shouldn't hang me on a hook, Johnny. My father hung me on a hook once. Once!

• Danny Vermin : You shouldn't grab me, Johnny. My mother grabbed me once... ONCE!

• Danny Vermin : [to Mrs. Kelly]  You shouldn't kick me in the balls, lady. My sister kicked me in the balls once...

  [Stumbles in pain] 

• [Leaving a crime scene with his sidekick, Dutch] 

  Danny Vermin : Hey, doll, how'd you like to make some money?

  Mary-Margaret Catharine Dineen : One at a time, or both of you together?

• Danny Vermin : I got something to stop him.

  [draws a gun with an unusually long barrel] 

  Dutch : They made it for him special. It's an .88 Magnum.

  Danny Vermin : It shoots through schools.

• Danny Vermin : I enjoy collecting protection money, putting whores to work, loan-sharking. I enjoy planting bombs in people's cars. These are a few of my favorite things.

  Johnny Dangerously : You know, Danny, I think you get too much sugar in your diet.

• Danny Vermin : You shouldn't have shot me, Johnny. My grandmother shot me once...

• Danny Vermin : I've been fulfilling a lot of people's prophecies about me; I've become a real scumbag.

• Danny Vermin : [scoffs at Johnny's interest in Lil]  Dames are put on this earth to weaken us. Drain our energy. Laugh at us when they see us naked.

• Danny Vermin : [points to a parking space]  Park there.

  Dutch : [objects]  It's for the handicapped.

  Danny Vermin : I AM handicapped. I'm psychotic.

  [puts a sign in the front window] 

• Johnny Dangerously : Alright here it is. Johnny Dangerously is going legit.

  Member of Dundee's gang : Le-what?

  Johnny Dangerously : Legit.

  Charley : Le-why?

  Danny Vermin : I'll tell you le-why. Because Johnny Dangerously is really Johnny Kelly, brother of the D.A., Tommy Kelly.

• Danny Vermin : This goes through armor. And through the victim, through the wall, through a tree outside...