A Voyage Round My Father (1982 TV Movie)

Michael Aldridge: Headmaster

Quotes 

• Headmaster : You shall refer to us all by nicknames. I am Noah. My wife is Mrs. Noah. You are the animals. This is Ham and Japhet. Matron is Matey. And Mr. Bingo Ollard... Mr. Bingo Ollard is Mr. Bingo Ollard.

• Headmaster : Ah, now that's the other thing I wanted to talk to you about. Dreams. You'll have them. Oh, certain you'll have them. The trick is always to sleep on your right side. Never on your left, stops the heart. Never on your back, encourages dreams. And you must always think to yourself "You Rotter to have had a dream!" Of course if you're awake, you can do something about it. Go for a run, or have a cold shower. Always tell the Housemaster, he'll understand. "Sir," you say, "That is what I felt the need to do!"

• Headmaster : Someone may say to you "Would you like some cake?" or "Let's be friends." You say "I'm going straight to tell the Housemaster!" Just like that.

• Headmaster : Remember, the only real drawback to our great public school system is unsolicited cake.