Rising Damp (1980)

John Cater: Bert

Quotes 

• Miss Ruth Jones : [points to magazines in Rigsby's hands]  What are those?

  Rigsby : Oh, they're, er... photographic studies, Miss Jones... for the nature lover. A sort of hymn of praise to the female form.

  Miss Ruth Jones : Do you mean they're nudes?

  Rigsby : Er... yes.

  Miss Ruth Jones : [disgusted]  I see. If you'll excuse me, Mr. Rigsby. It's rather warm in here.

  Rigsby : [Rigsby confronts Bert]  What did you have to go and do that for? What's she going to think of me now?

  Bert : Well I'm sorry, Rigsby. I didn't know you fancied her.

  Rigsby : Well, why not?

  Bert : I thought you only like women with staples across their stomachs.