Scum (1979)

Jo Kendall: Matron

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Quotes 

• Archer : I am older than most of the trainees here.

  Matron : [Updating the documents of a trainee]  Yes.

  Archer : The books available in the library, they're either trash westerns or hack adventure stories. Now, I can't read that muck. See. I don't know whether I'm supposed to be Roy Rogers or Nanook of the North. My needs are... different.

  Matron : The library caters for all trainees here, not single individuals.

  Archer : Besides censoring our mail, you also veto what books are allowed to be sent in to us?

  Matron : I do.

  Archer : Then why haven't I been allowed the two Dostoyevsky novels you received for me?

  Matron : They're safely locked away. You'll have them when you're released.

  Archer : I shan't need them then.

  Matron : [Matron reminds Archer to address her by her title]  Matron.

  Archer : Have you read them? They are classics.

  Matron : Archer, read them or not. Crime and Punishment and The Idiot are hardly suitable reading matter for a young boy in this establishment.

  Archer : [In a mocking tone]  Boy?

  Matron : Trainee.

  [Matron stands up to place the document she was working on to a filing cabinet] 

  Matron : You're feet are disgusting Archer. You're impudent and foolish. I know of vegetarians who don't eat meat, but that doesn't stop them from wearing shoes.

  Archer : Can't be very sincere people then, can they, Matron?

  [Matron returns to her desk] 

  Matron : Is that all?

  Archer : Yeah. Well, I think it's all going to be resolved soon anyway. The feet, I mean. And the diet. Yeah, I'm thinking of being a Sikh.

  Matron : The governor might have something to say about that.

  Archer : Matron, do you know what I used to do with my girlfriend?

  Matron : Are you being insolent, Archer?

  Archer : Hold hands. We used to hold hands.

  Matron : Is that all you wish to discuss, Archer? I have work to do.

  Archer : [Heading his way to the door]  Yes, I think so. Yes. I keep getting through the days somehow. You know, Matron, when I was last in the block, seven days solitary down there... madam. After much insistence, they gave me, besides the belting, my right to a book. It was the bible.

  Matron : Good, you'll come to no harm with that.

  Archer : It was printed in Yugoslavian and there didn't happen to be an interpreter in the cell.

  Matron : Well, that goes to show, Archer, that Christianity is universal.

  Archer : Make the report, Matron.